Sweetgirl28 Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 Last Friday I went out on my first date since my fiancé canceled our wedding. I went through a period of depression, self-reflection and healing. So, the guy I went out with is an expat who currently resides in my country. I feel like we clicked because we talked for 1,5 hour straight! He wanted to go for a second drink but I ended the date because the bar was closing. He offered to drive me home but I said I was fine with walking. He gave me a hug when we said our goodbyes. I texted him about an hour later telling him I hoped he got home safely and that I had a good time. He texted me back the next day saying that it was nice to talk to me. No second date but he did reply. Not sure how to proceed now. Should I text him again? Should I wait for him to come around with a plan? Please no judgmental comments! I have been out of the dating scene for quite a while.
Mjm1014 Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 (edited) He's definitely interested! I mean he wanted to stay out longer on the date with you. I would keep it casual and see if he'd like to meet again. I didn't read anything that would make me think he wasn't interested... Keep in mind too, there may be a cultural difference depending where he's from, and in his country it may be disrespectful to ask out a women (some cultures are backwards). If you want to impress him, look up some things online about what's socially acceptable and polite where he's from. This will impress him for sure! I dated someone from Turkey once and yes it was very different dynamic. Good luck Edited January 24, 2016 by Mjm1014
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted January 24, 2016 Author Posted January 24, 2016 Thank you, Mjm1014! He is from a country nearby. We grew up in the same religion, just not in the same culture. I don't think it's unacceptable in his country to ask women out. Just thought it was strange that he would text back just to say it was nice talking to me. Sounded like a goodbye in a way. I haven't responded because there was nothing to respond to. I had already said in my initial text that I had a good time. Maybe he is just shy? I really have no idea.
katiegrl Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 Just thought it was strange that he would text back just to say it was nice talking to me. Sounded like a goodbye in a way. I haven't responded because there was nothing to respond to. I had already said in my initial text that I had a good time. You've got good instincts ....and I agree with you. He sounds completely meh, sorry I wouldn't respond to a message like that...and yes it *did* sound like a goodbye. Follow your gut....and let it go. If he wants a second date, he knows where to find you.
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted January 24, 2016 Author Posted January 24, 2016 That's the vibe I got too. Before we went out, he mentioned that he wanted to take me to his country for a visit since I have never been there. He didn't talk about that anymore on the date. Plus that strange text message. I'm surprised he texted back at all. I honestly wasn't expecting any communication on his part anymore. Oh well...
thejabberwocky Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 Aw, good for you! I would wait for him to come to you. You texted him after the date, so if he wants a second date, let him ask for it!
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 Aw, good for you! I would wait for him to come to you. You texted him after the date, so if he wants a second date, let him ask for it! That was exactly my thought as well. If he wants to go out again, he should contact me. I didn't respond to "it was very nice to talk to you" message, and I don't think I will. Why are men so confusing?
smudge21 Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 That was exactly my thought as well. If he wants to go out again, he should contact me. I didn't respond to "it was very nice to talk to you" message, and I don't think I will. Why are men so confusing? Why are all people confusing. Same thing happens to us guys too you know. Sadly with texts it's impossible to gauge someone's feelings, so you can only go on what you feel. If the last text was from him, then I'd say he's waiting for you to reply, but as others have said, I wouldn't go full steam ahead with the "lets meet up again", just reply in kind with "yeah, was really a great night/day/time" etc. Be as equally polite and simple as his message. At least that way you're leaving the ball in his court to see if he comes back and follow it from there. Obviously that's just my opinion but sometimes I feel that you have to at least "give it a go" even if it turns out to be nothing, at least then you can say you tried rather than looking back in a months time and wishing you had. Your call.
Toodaloo Posted January 25, 2016 Posted January 25, 2016 Yes text back but do not get overly invested too soon... Word of warning - I have had first, second and third dates that have lasted 5-6 hours, constant phoning and texting and they have gone "poof"! Often there is no rhyme nor reason. Keep in touch and keep your chin up. Its tough out there so I am glad you have had a good first one.
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 smudge21: I agree with you. Maybe I should text him at some point this week. The question is what should I say? I find it hard to find any reason for conversation in "I'm glad you had a good time; it was very nice talking to you" It just sounds so distant... Or like a goodbye in a way. Not sure how a man would read this. Toodaloo: It's is definitely hard being back on the dating scene. Honestly, I am sick of those mind games and weird texting rules. I have had similar experiences in the past where several dates went well with the same guy. Constant texting and calling. And then suddenly a disappearance act. The strange thing is that the disappearing didn't include unfriending on Facebook. Never understood or found out why.
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