Lucky27 Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 I'm 33, I met my current husband 3 years ago online, dated for 4 months then got married. I'm Vietnamese and he is Caucasian. When we were dating, he was into me, always made sure that I was the priority. Fast forward to present, We constantly argued and had a hard time getting back together. When he was mad, he started raising voices and cursed. I couldn't stand it and threatened separation. In our marriage, I'm the bread winner, running my own business. He is an accountant and wanted to manage all the finance and wanted everything joint together. During the past few years, I became very unsecured. There were days he was hot and cold toward me. I felt that both of us couldn't move forward to have an understanding relationship. When he's mad, he could care less or when I get sick, he couldn't care either. If we fought, he cursed out and started to threaten divorce; or if I decide to tell him that we should have someone else take care of my business finance then he would want to divorce. He seems to very concerned about finance; he said that is his view of marriage. Our marriage at this point is lacking care, full of pain and retaliation ( he made sure i had to say sorry and he would belittle me). I'm not sure how to go forward. I work very hard for my career and my business, he controls everything, even what I want to spend or give my family... I'm not sure we will work out eventually; esp I have no other way to bring it up the problems without getting into serious fights. We went to counseling and he said that it didn't work and seemed like counseling person was on my side. I'm desperated and hurt inside; I love him a lot but we couldn't stand being together in peace. Where do I start?
RySant Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 Oh my. You're more well-off than he? Did you get married in the states? Let alone, do you have a pre-nup?! Sounds like a con-man to me. Making sure your finances are joint is a RED FLAG to me, coupled with his hostility towards you. 4 months of dating? Huh, he's a Gold-digger that's for sure.
Author Lucky27 Posted January 24, 2016 Author Posted January 24, 2016 Yes we did get married in the states. I think I need to convince myself that it is what it is. I can't live in denial. When he wanted something, he would make it work. The person I thought I had married isn't there.
RySant Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 You have to consult a lawyer. And don't let your finances mixed in. If HE initiated Divorce, you'll end up giving him a huge chunk of your money. I suggest that you do this as soon as possible and don't wait.
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