SBM1111 Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 I feel like an absolute idiot. I have been talking to a a guy I met online for about 3 weeks. We live 2 hours apart and he has a lot of study commitments at the minute so arranging to meet is proving difficult. He said it would be a few weeks before he could come to me but I could go to him if it suited. Last week he was all up for it but I couldn't. This week I said I could so yesterday morning I text to say which would be better for him today or tomorrow. He didn't text back until this evening because he had no internet on his phone (this is true) and asked what's my story. I thought this was in relation to my previous message and so said I was at home it was too late to travel and said I could meet him tomorrow at a certain time if it suited and he never replied. I now feel like and absolute desperate pushy idiot that has messed everything up. Any advice?
ExpatInItaly Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 I feel like an absolute idiot. I have been talking to a a guy I met online for about 3 weeks. We live 2 hours apart and he has a lot of study commitments at the minute so arranging to meet is proving difficult. He said it would be a few weeks before he could come to me but I could go to him if it suited. Last week he was all up for it but I couldn't. This week I said I could so yesterday morning I text to say which would be better for him today or tomorrow. He didn't text back until this evening because he had no internet on his phone (this is true) and asked what's my story. I thought this was in relation to my previous message and so said I was at home it was too late to travel and said I could meet him tomorrow at a certain time if it suited and he never replied. I now feel like and absolute desperate pushy idiot that has messed everything up. Any advice? You need to chill, girl. I don't see how your message was desperate or pushy at all. It sounded like you had loose plans to meet and you were only trying to confirm which day would better. He is the one who dropped the ball. Why are you so hard on yourself? 1
Author SBM1111 Posted January 24, 2016 Author Posted January 24, 2016 You need to chill, girl. I don't see how your message was desperate or pushy at all. It sounded like you had loose plans to meet and you were only trying to confirm which day would better. He is the one who dropped the ball. Why are you so hard on yourself? I think it's because the last 3 guys I dated (and liked) just dropped like out of no where and stopped communicating with me after 3 months of dating and it hurt a lot so I guess I have an amplified fear of rejection
ExpatInItaly Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 I can understand past hurts come back to haunt us. But I really don't think you've done anything wrong here. Online dating has its advantages, but it is also full of stories like this. People have so many options at their fingertips that they often don't seriously focus on one person. I am assuming when you said you met online, that it was through a dating site/app?
Author SBM1111 Posted January 24, 2016 Author Posted January 24, 2016 I can understand past hurts come back to haunt us. But I really don't think you've done anything wrong here. Online dating has its advantages, but it is also full of stories like this. People have so many options at their fingertips that they often don't seriously focus on one person. I am assuming when you said you met online, that it was through a dating site/app? Yes your right a dating app. The person seemed really genuine and we got on well and did seem keen to meet but obviously either got cold feet when it actually had potential to become a reality or else he felt I came on too strong. I don't understand why he didn't just make up an excuse then instead of just ignoring me.. I think that is so rude and cruel to leave someone hanging like that
ExpatInItaly Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 Yes your right a dating app. The person seemed really genuine and we got on well and did seem keen to meet but obviously either got cold feet when it actually had potential to become a reality or else he felt I came on too strong. I don't understand why he didn't just make up an excuse then instead of just ignoring me.. I think that is so rude and cruel to leave someone hanging like that It is. But unfortunately, a lot of people take this route instead of being upfront. At least now you know not to waste any more time talking to him. if it's Tinder you're using, keep in mind many people use this primarily for hook-ups rather than actual relationships.
Author SBM1111 Posted January 24, 2016 Author Posted January 24, 2016 He messaged back this morning to say his network was down and how he had a match today and was missing an event at college he wanted to go to but nothing about what I said about meeting. So should I take it that he was just busy this weekend and didn't want to say "no" but just drop hints or is he just not interested?
Maggie4 Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 He is not very interested. Maybe because u r too far away? He signed up for dating, so he has time to do it. He is not that busy. If he is so busy he wouldn't be on the dating app.
introverted1 Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 2 hours apart is nearly a LDR. He may like you but also be realistic about how hard it will be to carve out time to see you when every date has to include 4 hours of travel time on top of the date time. I would pass this one up and look for someone closer.
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