SoulflowerChloe Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 (edited) I recently posted a thread about something I did to an ex: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/566244-he-won-t-talk-me-i-think-i-hurt-his-ego I really, really hurt him and I believe that this time, he is gone for good. I am starting to place all the blame on myself and am being really hard on myself and I do not know how to stop it. Guilt is really consuming me. I dont even know if I should feel guilty. I can't stop crying. I'm hurt deeply and reality is hitting. Inside I am searching for a way to reverse things but all roads come back to the same dead end. I just can not accept it. I feel like **** and am slipping into depression. Last time I got this low, I was suicidal. This time I feel the situation is even worse, and the potential of things going bad with me scares me. Please help. Edited January 24, 2016 by SoulflowerChloe
BlueIris Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 Oh, I just read the other thread, and no, you should not be beating yourself up at all! You did not do something awful to him, like rob him, cheat on him, beat him up, verbally abuse him or lose your temper on him. I actually don’t get why he got so upset, and I think there’s a good chance he didn’t, that it was a power play or something. He’s got a mighty fragile ego. I had a HS BF and I wondered how different my life would have been with him, but I didn’t want to trade in the life I had without him at all! It’s perfectly natural, especially when you’re happy and successful, to look back and think about all of the paths you took to get where you are, and appreciate how good the people have been along the way. No, do not beat yourself up over that guy!
Author SoulflowerChloe Posted January 24, 2016 Author Posted January 24, 2016 Oh, I just read the other thread, and no, you should not be beating yourself up at all! You did not do something awful to him, like rob him, cheat on him, beat him up, verbally abuse him or lose your temper on him. I actually don’t get why he got so upset, and I think there’s a good chance he didn’t, that it was a power play or something. He’s got a mighty fragile ego. I had a HS BF and I wondered how different my life would have been with him, but I didn’t want to trade in the life I had without him at all! It’s perfectly natural, especially when you’re happy and successful, to look back and think about all of the paths you took to get where you are, and appreciate how good the people have been along the way. No, do not beat yourself up over that guy! I didn't understand at first, but I thought it was just me. Do you think in time, that he'll get over it? I want to be on good terms with him.
BlueIris Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 I didn't understand at first, but I thought it was just me. Do you think in time, that he'll get over it? I want to be on good terms with him. I don't know. You don't know. It would be great to be on good terms with him but that takes two. You can be nice to him, open to him in the future, but you can't make him do or feel anything. Leave it with this: I want to be on good terms with him so I'll leave the door open should that opportunity ever arise.
mightycpa Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 This is a normal stage of grieving and reflecting. At some point, you'll do (at least) one of four things: 1) Reconsider and brush your actions off as no big deal, blame him 2) See them as motivation to change 3) Forgive yourself for who you are 4) Never forgive yourself and try to forget All but #4 are reasonable responses. #4 will mean you never get over it, and the best you'll do is to forget about it.
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