Online Dating for hot guys

[AverageJoe1986]

So then get OFF OLD!! I don't understand why continue doing something you clearly don't enjoy. It's only making you more jaded for heaven's sake. And no one enjoys dating someone who is jaded about dating and relationships. Women can smell that a mile away.

 

I'd rather be jaded than ignorant. At least I'm learning what people are really like rather than what they'd like you to believe they're like.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I'd rather be jaded than ignorant. At least I'm learning what people are really like rather than what they'd like you to believe they're like.

 

You being jaded is being ignorant, don't you see that?

 

Online isn't a good nor fair representation of how the majority of people are. If you think that then I feel sorry for you.

[AverageJoe1986]

You being jaded is being ignorant, don't you see that?

 

Online isn't a good nor fair representation of how the majority of people are. If you think that then I feel sorry for you.

 

Of course it is. It's an unfiltered representation because people don't feel they need to be polite or pretend to like things that they don't. They can respond to a message or not. They can choose to message someone first or they can decide not to. The social pressures are removed. And when the social pressures are removed people will just speak to people whose pictures are the prettiest.

 

Just as one example: I messaged a woman a few days ago who I had loads in common with. I sent her a detailed message which touched on those points in common. She never once even looked at my profile. After about three days I messaged her again asking if she was too busy to reply. She then did message me back to say, yes she had been too busy but now that I was being pushy she wasn't interested. What she doesn't know is that she had been chatting to my fake profile for two days so I know she was lying. Now would I really be better off wondering why she didn't respond? Why did she have to lie rather than just saying that she didn't find me attractive?

 

Online allows people to be their real selves because they anticipate no negative consequences.

[WaitingForBardot]

...

Just as one example: I messaged a woman a few days ago who I had loads in common with. I sent her a detailed message which touched on those points in common. She never once even looked at my profile. After about three days I messaged her again asking if she was too busy to reply. She then did message me back to say, yes she had been too busy but now that I was being pushy she wasn't interested. What she doesn't know is that she had been chatting to my fake profile for two days so I know she was lying. Now would I really be better off wondering why she didn't respond? Why did she have to lie rather than just saying that she didn't find me attractive?

...

So she wasn't lying, she was busy..., chatting with your other profile. You were competing with yourself..., and lost. ..lol..

[AverageJoe1986]

So she wasn't lying, she was busy..., chatting with your other profile. You were competing with yourself..., and lost. ..lol..

 

Well she was hardly exclusively doing that. There was enough time between messages for her to have at least checked my profile. She just had no desire to.

 

And as usual I made sure to make the good looking guy very dull with frequent one word messages and very little to say. Didn't put her off.

[jen1447]

I just think it's sad that men and women have to resort to playing games online by either creating fake profiles or conducting experiments and then feel qualified to make these grandiose conclusions and paint everyone with the same paintbrush

 

The efficacy of these 'studies' is pretty much nil due to confirmation bias going in. Rage-hatred person who believes they've been spurned by OLD, doing a study to search for behavioral traits that support spurning type behavior on OLD, and finding evidence of same, isn't really a compelling finding.

[AverageJoe1986]

The efficacy of these 'studies' is pretty much nil due to confirmation bias going in. Rage-hatred person who believes they've been spurned by OLD, doing a study to search for behavioral traits that support spurning type behavior on OLD, and finding evidence of same, isn't really a compelling finding.

 

Well I'm not really approaching it that way myself. It's hardly confirmation bias to say that with a profile of my own photos I can't get a response or message in six months whilst with good looking photos I can get hundreds a week. That's a fact. Does that mean that every woman likes the good looking guy? No. Does that mean that no woman will ever like my profile? Again no but the numbers suggest that over and above everything else in online dating it's your level of physical attractiveness which overwhelmingly determines your success at getting into conversations and consequently on dates. With my own profile I am basically buying a lottery ticket and hoping my numbers come up because no one is letting me even talk to them. With the fake profile I can sit back and pick and choose who I want to take out. And I don't even have to be funny or clever or interesting.

[bluefeather]

dang AverageJoe, seems like you could do for making a thread of your own just about this, and possibly getting help with it. what you're doing sounds kinda sick and it's also a waste of other people's time, and could lead to hurt feelings if anyone ends up falling for your fake profile.

[AverageJoe1986]

dang AverageJoe, seems like you could do for making a thread of your own just about this, and possibly getting help with it. what you're doing sounds kinda sick and it's also a waste of other people's time, and could lead to hurt feelings if anyone ends up falling for your fake profile.

 

Well if anyone falls for my fake profile then they're idiots because I am doing nothing but trying to put them off me.

 

I always find out the main thing about a man that turns them off and then portray myself in that light. Sometimes that puts them off but other times they will happily overlook anything if they think they have a chance of dating a hot guy. Even then I just stop communicating after a day of two. I'm not interested in hurting anyone.

[AMJ]

And as usual I made sure to make the good looking guy very dull with frequent one word messages and very little to say. Didn't put her off.

 

So, all good looking men are very dull and cannot carry a conversation, then?

 

While I feel your pain and frustration with OLD- believe me, I do- you sound like a child throwing a tantrum because you didn't get your way. And I know it's deeper than that, truly. But you're experiencing something that we all experience, and you're acting like it's only happening to you.

 

You've only been OLD for 6 months? Well I've been at it for years. If you're this frustrated now, it's true, women can pick up on that. Just like men can tell when women sound bitter. So seriously, give it a break for awhile. Delete your profile and just find something else to do with your free time. Who knows, once you're back out in the real world again, maybe you'll find a girl the old fashioned way.

 

Do you even want to date the girl who liked the fake profile, and kept talking to the guy who couldn't keep a conversation, but wouldn't give you a chance? No, you don't. She's not worth your time.

 

In a few months, when you're not so worked up about it, try a different site. There are dozens of dating sites these days. Ten years ago we only had one or two. Go on several sites at the same time. If you live in a small community, then you'll run out of women to talk to pretty quickly if you only stay on one site. My experience with POF was complete garbage. Nothing but the most disgusting, unattractive men who really had nothing to offer a grown woman and would send me disgusting messages. There's OKCupid, Tinder, Bumble, Match, Eharmony, Hinge, Happnd, Zoosk...and I'm not even that knowledgeable, there are probably others. Try meetup and go on meetups for whatever hobbies/activities you're into.

 

Anyone who ever entered into a successful relationship, did not do so while in a state of anger and bitterness like you're in right now. You're not in the right frame of mind to be dating, so even if you met Miss Perfect tomorrow, you'd probably screw it up. Take a break.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Well I'm not really approaching it that way myself. It's hardly confirmation bias to say that with a profile of my own photos I can't get a response or message in six months whilst with good looking photos I can get hundreds a week. That's a fact. Does that mean that every woman likes the good looking guy? No. Does that mean that no woman will ever like my profile? Again no but the numbers suggest that over and above everything else in online dating it's your level of physical attractiveness which overwhelmingly determines your success at getting into conversations and consequently on dates. With my own profile I am basically buying a lottery ticket and hoping my numbers come up because no one is letting me even talk to them. With the fake profile I can sit back and pick and choose who I want to take out. And I don't even have to be funny or clever or interesting.

 

OLD is def a numbers game. And it's supersonically shallow which has been the topic of countless threads on here already. No one denies it which is why if/when you play the online dating game you need to go into armed with this knowledge and not let it get to you. Otherwise, find other ways to meet people that allow your charm and wit (provided you have some) to shine through over and above your looks. Playing games and testing people in the hopes they'll fail is really very counterproductive and damaging to say the least.

 

I get a lot of attention both online and offline but that doesn't mean I get to have whatever I want. There have been plenty of men I've been interested in who've rejected me for one reason or another. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I have very distinct features and can't pass as the girl next door if my life depended on it. I'm outspoken and take no sh*t and not many men can handle that. And more often than not anymore it's because of my age that keeps me from meeting the type of men I would really like to be with long term. Such is life!

 

And just because you think you can sit back and take your pick of the litter means nothing apart from having some choices. Odds of anything actually coming of it in real life are slim to none anyway so you're really not missing anything apart from a lighter wallet from all the first dates you'd be subjected to.

[AverageJoe1986]

So, all good looking men are very dull and cannot carry a conversation, then?

 

While I feel your pain and frustration with OLD- believe me, I do- you sound like a child throwing a tantrum because you didn't get your way. And I know it's deeper than that, truly. But you're experiencing something that we all experience, and you're acting like it's only happening to you.

 

You've only been OLD for 6 months? Well I've been at it for years. If you're this frustrated now, it's true, women can pick up on that. Just like men can tell when women sound bitter. So seriously, give it a break for awhile. Delete your profile and just find something else to do with your free time. Who knows, once you're back out in the real world again, maybe you'll find a girl the old fashioned way.

 

Do you even want to date the girl who liked the fake profile, and kept talking to the guy who couldn't keep a conversation, but wouldn't give you a chance? No, you don't. She's not worth your time.

 

In a few months, when you're not so worked up about it, try a different site. There are dozens of dating sites these days. Ten years ago we only had one or two. Go on several sites at the same time. If you live in a small community, then you'll run out of women to talk to pretty quickly if you only stay on one site. My experience with POF was complete garbage. Nothing but the most disgusting, unattractive men who really had nothing to offer a grown woman and would send me disgusting messages. There's OKCupid, Tinder, Bumble, Match, Eharmony, Hinge, Happnd, Zoosk...and I'm not even that knowledgeable, there are probably others. Try meetup and go on meetups for whatever hobbies/activities you're into.

 

Anyone who ever entered into a successful relationship, did not do so while in a state of anger and bitterness like you're in right now. You're not in the right frame of mind to be dating, so even if you met Miss Perfect tomorrow, you'd probably screw it up. Take a break.

 

No I'm not saying that good looking men are all dull. I made him dull to show that it was ONLY his looks that were of any interest.

 

I know I am not in the right frame of mind for dating now. As I have said my self worth has taken an enormous battering. I am also not throwing my toys out of the pram. I am not upset that I didn't find a wife or relationship online. I am upset that I was totally invisible online. I am upset that despite attractiveness being a subjective quality I still was totally unable to be attractive to anyone. And it hasn't got anything to do with smelling bitterness on me. My profile was upbeat and positive. My photos were smiley. They just found me ugly.

[AverageJoe1986]

OLD is def a numbers game. And it's supersonically shallow which has been the topic of countless threads on here already. No one denies it which is why if/when you play the online dating game you need to go into armed with this knowledge and not let it get to you. Otherwise, find other ways to meet people that allow your charm and wit (provided you have some) to shine through over and above your looks. Playing games and testing people in the hopes they'll fail is really very counterproductive and damaging to say the least.

 

I get a lot of attention both online and offline but that doesn't mean I get to have whatever I want. There have been plenty of men I've been interested in who've rejected me for one reason or another. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I have very distinct features and can't pass as the girl next door if my life depended on it. I'm outspoken and take no sh*t and not many men can handle that. And more often than not anymore it's because of my age that keeps me from meeting the type of men I would really like to be with long term. Such is life!

 

And just because you think you can sit back and take your pick of the litter means nothing apart from having some choices. Odds of anything actually coming of it in real life are slim to none anyway so you're really not missing anything apart from a lighter wallet from all the first dates you'd be subjected to.

 

Yes I'm so thankful to be without options. And that's the point. Options. I have none. You might nit always get what you want but you will have options in the future. I will not. I will just have to settle for the first world.an who comes along or risk dying alone.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Yes I'm so thankful to be without options. And that's the point. Options. I have none. You might nit always get what you want but you will have options in the future. I will not. I will just have to settle for the first world.an who comes along or risk dying alone.

 

Oh my goodness...I can smell you over the computer screen...

[AverageJoe1986]

Oh my goodness...I can smell you over the computer screen...

 

If it makes you feel better to think that that's why I didn't get any responses then fine. I was really really negative. I messaged women saying 'I know I'm ugly and terrible but please go out with me'. I made the big mistake of messaging psychics and seers who cod tell from one photo and a nice introductory message that I was a festering pit of negativity.

[AMJ]

Don't say ugly- thinking that way is counterproductive. Do you have female friends, or a sister, who can give you feedback? That's another option. Your male friends might be clueless and not so helpful. I help out my best friend's brother with his profile, because he frankly needs it. You seem really intelligent, and maybe the women you're attracted to are shallow. Short of going for women who look like small houses, you're just going after the wrong women. Smart women probably aren't on POF. They're probably on Eharmony. Idk. But it's time to try something different, that's all.

[AverageJoe1986]

Don't say ugly- thinking that way is counterproductive. Do you have female friends, or a sister, who can give you feedback? That's another option. Your male friends might be clueless and not so helpful. I help out my best friend's brother with his profile, because he frankly needs it. You seem really intelligent, and maybe the women you're attracted to are shallow. Short of going for women who look like small houses, you're just going after the wrong women. Smart women probably aren't on POF. They're probably on Eharmony. Idk. But it's time to try something different, that's all.

 

Actually there are loads of smart women on POF. In the south east of England at least.

 

Also, why pretend? I'm ugly. Might as well call a spade a spade. It's just the truth.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Actually there are loads of smart women on POF. In the south east of England at least.

 

Also, why pretend? I'm ugly. Might as well call a spade a spade. It's just the truth.

 

Listen, if Honey Boo Boo's mom can have several baby daddies and find someone she thinks is "special" to come home to night after night than anyone has a shot at finding someone

[WaitingForBardot]

Listen, if Honey Boo Boo's mom can have several baby daddies and find someone she thinks is "special" to come home to night after night than anyone has a shot at finding someone

Not really a fair comparison. She has personality..., and she's a star. ..lol..

[AverageJoe1986]

Listen, if Honey Boo Boo's mom can have several baby daddies and find someone she thinks is "special" to come home to night after night than anyone has a shot at finding someone

 

I have absolutely no concept of what that means but I'll take your word for it:p

[jen1447]

Well I'm not really approaching it that way myself. It's hardly confirmation bias to say that with a profile of my own photos I can't get a response or message in six months whilst with good looking photos I can get hundreds a week. That's a fact. Does that mean that every woman likes the good looking guy? No. Does that mean that no woman will ever like my profile? Again no but the numbers suggest that over and above everything else in online dating it's your level of physical attractiveness which overwhelmingly determines your success at getting into conversations and consequently on dates. With my own profile I am basically buying a lottery ticket and hoping my numbers come up because no one is letting me even talk to them. With the fake profile I can sit back and pick and choose who I want to take out. And I don't even have to be funny or clever or interesting.

 

People who want there to be evidence of sth will always find it. You're not an impartial observer or a qualified investigator bc you've got a personal stake in what you're studying and it's obvs you're constantly grinding your ax along the way. Thus your findings are invalid, bc your bias can't be eliminated from having influenced your methods and conclusions. And yet you're peddling them here nonetheless like Michelle mentioned several posts up, and applying them broadly, and representing them as some sort of universal truth. Sorry but it just doesn't carry any weight.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I have absolutely no concept of what that means but I'll take your word for it:p

 

OMG then you MUST Google her!

 

It might make your day AJ

[AMJ]

I have absolutely no concept of what that means but I'll take your word for it:p

 

Honey Boo Boo's mom is the most obnoxious, disgusting, and embarrassing woman in America. She's the stereotype come to life. Google it. Its true though, there's hope for everyone when it comes to relationships. But he said he doesn't want to date a small house so, he has standards.

[AverageJoe1986]

People who want there to be evidence of sth will always find it. You're not an impartial observer or a qualified investigator bc you've got a personal stake in what you're studying and it's obvs you're constantly grinding your ax along the way. Thus your findings are invalid, bc your bias can't be eliminated from having influenced your methods and conclusions. And yet you're peddling them here nonetheless like Michelle mentioned several posts up, and applying them broadly, and representing them as some sort of universal truth. Sorry but it just doesn't carry any weight.

 

My findings are my own I didn't do anything to bias women into messaging my fake profile apart from the photos. That was the point. My hypothesis that photos of a good looking man on my profile will lead to a huge upturn in response was proved correct. That's just a fact. There are no other variables in play and as that is the only thing I was seeking to measure then it has succeeded.

 

Now if an average looking guy is online and having seriously little response and then he was to read this thread he could either decide to believe what I am saying or what you and others believe. Before that he might only read things like 'oh don't worry there are so many factors in OLD which contribute to your success'. My view is the opposite. He can see what I have said or what you say and act accordingly. Because believe me there are hundreds of guys who go online, get virtually nothing out of it and believe it's because the women are too busy, or that they wrote one thing on their profile that happened to turn off EVERY woman and its nonsense.

[AverageJoe1986]

OMG then you MUST Google her!

 

It might make your day AJ

 

I think I'm going to be sick...