The Next Big Thing Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 5 Reasons Why Men May Be Hesitant to Get into an Exclusive Relationship ? The Professional Wingman® Good article , because it totally sums up my feelings, at least a part. I copy it here: "1. “Is she the one? And if she is, my life is over.” Over in the sense of predictability & repetition. Something we all are afraid of in one way or another. 2. Monogamy. Having only one sexual partner. Will a man be certain that one woman will satisfy him sexually over an extended period of time? 3. Isolation. Feeling as though they won’t be able to see their friends as often. A lot less weekends out with the guys. 4. Responsibility. Decisions become harder when you have to think of someone other than yourself. 5. Laziness. Subtle things such as feeling as though you have to call every day, constantly letting her know of your whereabouts, getting permission to do certain things, etc. are general turn-offs for men and are continuously seen as the “work” men must do in a relationship." To be honest, the first 2 points are what makes me hesitant the most. By the way, Im 21 years old man in university. Im a virgin but not because women dont want me but because I never wanted to proceed further with the girl. As 1.) says, I dont want to get in a relationship with just "some girl". There are many beautiful girls I know and they are really cool. But I feel like if Im not that into a girl, I would start look after other ones very soon. But once in a while I meet a girl that really makes me starstruck but shes taken or I let the opportunity pass. With girls like that I would not be hesitant (or at least not that much) to get into relationship with them because they are perfect "for me", they are "my type", whatever you wanna call it. But even then, I cant imagine I would be forever with this one person since this young age. SIMPLY PUT: Many times I had the opportunity to get closer with a girl because also she was showing interest but I just didnt proceed because I felt like: "its responsibility, now I will have to be with her, loyal to her...what if I meet someone who matches me beter, who I like more, what then? " . Also I use to think that during the time I could potentially date this girl, durind that time I could meet this another girl which I like more and if I didnt date the first one, I could be with her but now Im screwed. Also that lack of liberty. Basically all the 5 points from the article. BUT as I said, If I would be with a girl who Im comletely startstruck by, which happens rarely, I would probably not think about all that stuff because she would be perfect for me. But my question is, should I wait for that girl? But for how long? Im still a virgin at 21. Should I wait for the perfect one even if I feel like I dont want to stick with my first partner for the rest of my life?
Robratory Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 Well, I kind of disagree with your philosophy. By the age of 21, I can't imagine how you haven't met someone good enough to date. You seem focused on finding the right girl first, but it doesn't work that way. You'll just wind up old, alone, and still a virgin. You have to kiss every frog because you won't know if it will turn into a princess until after the kiss. And while I agree that we should not get involved with someone we find truly unacceptable, the idea that someone who sweeps us off our feet is perfect for us is simply wrong. There is no correlation whatsoever between initial attraction and long-term potential. Three times so far, life has put in my path the physically perfect woman, at least from my perspective. I had a great relationship with one of them, but the other two were bat-sh*t crazy drama queens I regretted ever meeting. Don't wait to start dating. Dating doesn't mean getting stuck with someone the rest of your life.
katiegrl Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 5 Reasons Why Men May Be Hesitant to Get into an Exclusive Relationship ? The Professional Wingman® Good article , because it totally sums up my feelings, at least a part. I copy it here: "1. “Is she the one? And if she is, my life is over.” Over in the sense of predictability & repetition. Something we all are afraid of in one way or another. 2. Monogamy. Having only one sexual partner. Will a man be certain that one woman will satisfy him sexually over an extended period of time? 3. Isolation. Feeling as though they won’t be able to see their friends as often. A lot less weekends out with the guys. 4. Responsibility. Decisions become harder when you have to think of someone other than yourself. 5. Laziness. Subtle things such as feeling as though you have to call every day, constantly letting her know of your whereabouts, getting permission to do certain things, etc. are general turn-offs for men and are continuously seen as the “work” men must do in a relationship." To be honest, the first 2 points are what makes me hesitant the most. By the way, Im 21 years old man in university. Im a virgin but not because women dont want me but because I never wanted to proceed further with the girl. As 1.) says, I dont want to get in a relationship with just "some girl". There are many beautiful girls I know and they are really cool. But I feel like if Im not that into a girl, I would start look after other ones very soon. But once in a while I meet a girl that really makes me starstruck but shes taken or I let the opportunity pass. With girls like that I would not be hesitant (or at least not that much) to get into relationship with them because they are perfect "for me", they are "my type", whatever you wanna call it. But even then, I cant imagine I would be forever with this one person since this young age. SIMPLY PUT: Many times I had the opportunity to get closer with a girl because also she was showing interest but I just didnt proceed because I felt like: "its responsibility, now I will have to be with her, loyal to her...what if I meet someone who matches me beter, who I like more, what then? " . Also I use to think that during the time I could potentially date this girl, durind that time I could meet this another girl which I like more and if I didnt date the first one, I could be with her but now Im screwed. Also that lack of liberty. Basically all the 5 points from the article. BUT as I said, If I would be with a girl who Im comletely startstruck by, which happens rarely, I would probably not think about all that stuff because she would be perfect for me. But my question is, should I wait for that girl? But for how long? Im still a virgin at 21. Should I wait for the perfect one even if I feel like I dont want to stick with my first partner for the rest of my life? Congrats ...... you are well on your way to becoming a full-fledged, bonafide, classic *commitment-phobe*... Cuz everything you described above is exactly how they think and feel...and why they are so fearful of relationships and commitment. Good luck with that......
Author The Next Big Thing Posted January 23, 2016 Author Posted January 23, 2016 Congrats ...... you are well on your way to becoming a full-fledged, bonafide, classic *commitment-phobe*... Cuz everything you described above is exactly how they think and feel...and why they are so fearful of relationships and commitment. Good luck with that...... That was a great advice, thank you.
Author The Next Big Thing Posted January 23, 2016 Author Posted January 23, 2016 Well, I kind of disagree with your philosophy. By the age of 21, I can't imagine how you haven't met someone good enough to date. You seem focused on finding the right girl first, but it doesn't work that way. You'll just wind up old, alone, and still a virgin. You have to kiss every frog because you won't know if it will turn into a princess until after the kiss. And while I agree that we should not get involved with someone we find truly unacceptable, the idea that someone who sweeps us off our feet is perfect for us is simply wrong. There is no correlation whatsoever between initial attraction and long-term potential. Three times so far, life has put in my path the physically perfect woman, at least from my perspective. I had a great relationship with one of them, but the other two were bat-sh*t crazy drama queens I regretted ever meeting. Don't wait to start dating. Dating doesn't mean getting stuck with someone the rest of your life. Thanks for advice
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