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Did he only want to have sex with me? Help!


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Posted
Why are women so brainwashed? It is ok to remove consent at any time and that doesn't make you a bad person. You don't owe any man sex for any reason at any point. What message are women giving to their daughters if they are telling them they cannot change their mind about intimacy??? Men aren't animals. If they are in any way reasonable they won't resent you if you simply decide you weren't ready at the moment. The women here need to find a better grade of men.

 

No one is questioning her right to remove consent. We are, however, questioning the wisdom of getting naked with a man you've only met in person for the first time and in another city and not knowing a thing about his character and being so naive as to expect that since she did get naked with him that he is now her boyfriend or has to be so interested as to pursue that. It's just plain unsafe. She was lucky.

  • Like 4
Posted
I handled the truth. I understand all your points,but again I can have fun with this one if ever it happens doesn't mean I'm ignoring you or anyone else.

 

Try this. Instead of the word "sex" use the word "heroin" with this scenerio.

 

"You were really into this guy who you barely saw and developed and infatuation with because the image you had in your head of him kept growing, even when you weren't growing together in actual reality.

 

Then he comes to see you and you're really having fun and go into the bedroom and he wants you to do heroin with him... You say that you've never done heroin before and you're not quite sure you're ready to do heroin.

Then you come here and tell everyone that you've had a really bad history of addiction and making the wrong choices.... And you don't care what anyone says... You think you can do heroin and not get addicted to it or have if seriously impact your life in a negative manner.

 

An addict is going to do what they want. Whether it's heroin, sex, or gravitating towards men and relationships who will be detrimental to their health. You're not going to stop until you hit rock bottom... Which sucks because when you hit that point... You're going to look back at this thread and wonder wtf was wrong with you.

Posted

Like she's actually listening to any of this....:rolleyes:

 

Let the girl make her OWN mistakes... that's how we learn.

 

The hard way... like we all have.

 

Do we really have a choice?

 

She's deadest on seeing/having full blown sex with this bozo IF he calls... so I don't see as we have much of a choice.... but to let her make her own mistakes, and suffer the consequences.

 

She not listening.... doesn't want to listen.

 

Let's save our energy for posters who actually want and appreciate our help.

 

My $.02.

  • Like 1
Posted
No one is questioning her right to remove consent. We are, however, questioning the wisdom of getting naked with a man you've only met in person for the first time and in another city and not knowing a thing about his character and being so naive as to expect that since she did get naked with him that he is now her boyfriend or has to be so interested as to pursue that. It's just plain unsafe. She was lucky.

 

I call bs. People didn't simply characterize her actions as "unsafe", they characterized them as cruel or malicious. There's a HUGE difference.

 

Characterizing her actions as malice implies there's a wrong time to remove consent. And there isn't.

  • Like 3
Posted
why are women so brainwashed? It is ok to remove consent at any time and that doesn't make you a bad person. You don't owe any man sex for any reason at any point. What message are women giving to their daughters if they are telling them they cannot change their mind about intimacy??? Men aren't animals. If they are in any way reasonable they won't resent you if you simply decide you weren't ready at the moment. The women here need to find a better grade of men.

 

Amen

 

 

 

.......

  • Like 1
Posted
Dude I know but he would sleep with me

 

I'm a dudette.

 

And yes, we know he would sleep with you. That was clear from your initial post. It's also clear that yes, that is all he wants.

 

You're going to get hurt again, if you honestly believe you'd be fine being some chick he bangs once in a while. You're not ready for that at all. Nor should you have to be.

  • Author
Posted
I call bs. People didn't simply characterize her actions as "unsafe", they characterized them as cruel or malicious. There's a HUGE difference.

 

Characterizing her actions as malice implies there's a wrong time to remove consent. And there isn't.

 

Yes thank you. I got called for being a tease.

  • Like 2
Posted
Yes thank you. I got called for being a tease.

 

Do not absorb that bull into your soul...they are dead wrong and those ideas are toxic and dangerous for women.

  • Like 4
  • Author
Posted
I'm a dudette.

 

And yes, we know he would sleep with you. That was clear from your initial post. It's also clear that yes, that is all he wants.

 

You're going to get hurt again, if you honestly believe you'd be fine being some chick he bangs once in a while. You're not ready for that at all. Nor should you have to be.

 

My apologies.

  • Author
Posted
Yeah...I think she already knows he's just not into her ....but doesn't care, that's what's troubling.

 

She is also obviously okay with being treated like yesterday's newspaper, and tossed in the trash afterwards..... also troubling.

 

What's also obvious is that no matter what anyone says or advice she receives, she is gonna do what she wants regardless ... so...

 

I say we let her carry on as she wishes, makes her own mistakes ....as most of us did before LS came along, wish her well and call it a day.

 

Good look OP, stay safe.

 

Katie I read everyone's opinion's and I guess I'm kinda angry and sad with what happened and now I just don't give a **** anymore.

  • Author
Posted
Just because I'm the only one who said it doesn't mean I'm the only one who thought it. Explain your third sentence, and maybe in the process of expounding on your words, you might see what I mean.

 

That I didn't go all the way?

Posted
I know he's not into me to be his potential girl but he would sleep with me and be fwb with me so whatever

 

Thank you I will

 

Actually, again I think you are fooling yourself. I don't think he would necessarily sleep with you. DEFINITELY NOT looking for a FWB situation with you. For that, he already would have just put it out there and asked.

 

Again, making the mistake that's all a guy wants and that's your best trade. I think it VERY possible that he was turned off by the lack of chemistry at your "event". That can be a dealbreaker for future sex. He doesn't think it's worth it and doesn't want to encourage stage 5 clingy behavior. I actually think if he was interested still in at least sleeping with you, you'd also be hearing from him more than a social media like here and there and no actual contact for two months. Sleeping with you is no longer his goal either.

:sick:

  • Like 2
  • Author
Posted
Actually, again I think you are fooling yourself. I don't think he would necessarily sleep with you. DEFINITELY NOT looking for a FWB situation with you. For that, he already would have just put it out there and asked.

 

Again, making the mistake that's all a guy wants and that's your best trade. I think it VERY possible that he was turned off by the lack of chemistry at your "event". That can be a dealbreaker for future sex. He doesn't think it's worth it and doesn't want to encourage stage 5 clingy behavior. I actually think if he was interested still in at least sleeping with you, you'd also be hearing from him more than a social media like here and there and no actual contact for two months. Sleeping with you is no longer his goal either.

:sick:

 

 

You're seriously confusing me OR want to bring me down some more? i

He did text me a kiss in those 2 months but that's it for now. I still think he's leaving the door open because it doesn't make sense..he should delete me from Instagram at the most! I'm not clingy I'm not texting him. And what do you mean by lack of chemistry? Because there was no full blown sex? We fooled around for a good 1 and half. Why the hell would he kiss my whole body and such and you say lack of chemistry?

Ok what I believe is he felt rejected by me and that's it. I talked to him 5 days after that night and he even told me himself he was hurt. But at the end the convo ended ok.

  • Author
Posted
Actually, again I think you are fooling yourself. I don't think he would necessarily sleep with you. DEFINITELY NOT looking for a FWB situation with you. For that, he already would have just put it out there and asked.

 

Again, making the mistake that's all a guy wants and that's your best trade. I think it VERY possible that he was turned off by the lack of chemistry at your "event". That can be a dealbreaker for future sex. He doesn't think it's worth it and doesn't want to encourage stage 5 clingy behavior. I actually think if he was interested still in at least sleeping with you, you'd also be hearing from him more than a social media like here and there and no actual contact for two months. Sleeping with you is no longer his goal either.

:sick:

 

Ohh and why would he then make an effort to ask me out again? If there was no chemistry or sexual chemistry I don't think he would ask me out because we don't live in the same state.. Why the hassle? Doesn't make sense. So he must feel something

  • Author
Posted
I've read through the entire thread.

 

OP, to use a cliche...

 

He's just not that into you.

 

Rocket science ....

  • Author
Posted
I am thinking that the title of this thread should have been "I just wanted sex with him but kinda chickened out at the last second and now I really do wanna go all the way and since he showed even the tiniest bit of interest and may be my only opportunity for that to happen for a while, I'll wait for him to show up again . . . and I don't mind compromising my needs and goals and values for that.

 

Half true.........

Posted

Moderation stepping in to remind everyone that insults, accusations of trolling, arguing, etc, will not be tolerated and that everyone is able to alert moderation by using the Alert Us button on the offending post. We will handle it accordingly.

 

Thank you,

~6

  • 2 months later...
  • Author
Posted

Talked with him again and he told me he might fly to see me and he said he misses me.. Don't know what to think

Posted

You mean you have spoken to him this once since February?

  • Author
Posted
You mean you have spoken to him this once since February?

 

By text yes...on social media more

Posted (edited)
Ohh and why would he then make an effort to ask me out again? If there was no chemistry or sexual chemistry I don't think he would ask me out because we don't live in the same state.. Why the hassle? Doesn't make sense. So he must feel something

 

If he did, don't you think he would be making an effort to actually see you... spend time with you, like in person?

 

Come on now.

 

He's playing you hun... and you're playing into it right back.

 

So now he might fly to see you? The operative word being "might."

 

Give me a break. And don't hold your breath.

 

Sorry to say but you're gonna have a very tough road ahead of you if you believe ANYTHING this bozo tells you at this point.

 

Sorry, but if I were you, I wouldn't respond and block, delete. Next.

 

Self-respect.

Edited by katiegrl
  • Author
Posted
If he did, don't you think he would be making an effort to actually see you... spend time with you, like in person?

 

Come on now.

 

He's playing you hun... and you're playing into it right back.

 

So now he might fly to see you? The operative word being "might."

 

Give me a break. And don't hold your breath.

 

Sorry to say but you're gonna have a very tough road ahead of you if you believe ANYTHING this bozo tells you at this point.

 

Sorry, but if I were you, I wouldn't respond and block, delete. Next.

 

Self-respect.

 

Oh I'm not holding my breath ;-) why is he putting some effort in? Of course I don't believe he misses me. I was shocked when he texted that to be honest.

Posted
Oh I'm not holding my breath ;-) why is he putting some effort in? Of course I don't believe he misses me. I was shocked when he texted that to be honest.

 

He is not putting any effort in.

 

The guys is full of crap.

 

The End.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

Why he's playing with me..god

Posted
Why he's playing with me..god

 

For kicks. For ego stroking. He's bored.

 

Who cares?

 

Just block and delete.

  • Like 1
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