Droksie Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 Hey guys and gals first of all im going to give you some backstory so you can evaluate the situation better. We started dating from the day we first met basically from that moment we were unseparated.The fist year of our relationship she was coming to my house to spend time with me and my mother every single night and we treated her like a part of the family. The second year we dated we moved to a different city (where we study) it was her first year of uni and my last, so i found an apartment and we started living together. She started working 11 months ago in a restaurant/cafe with night shifts, basically she worked 60+ hours a week but i trusted her and never gave her **** about it because i knew that she has to work to support herself.This summer i lost my job and i started having money problems so she started helping me (i felt really bad about it because she was buying 60-70% of the food, but i did the same thing before i found her the job at the restaurant) Anyway at around the begining of december one night she was supposed to come home at 12:00 but she simply did not and she didn't pick her phone up. Long story short i went there and she said out of the blue she has no feelings for me which simply caught me off guard because that simply couldnt be true, there was no change in her behaviour beforehand and i simply refused to believe it. She came home 20! hours later and we started crying and arguing (this was the very first time we actually argued seriously about something). We argued about the part that i wasn't helping her enough, that she was working and it should have been me the one working, not her. I assured her that i would find a job so she can continue her studies undisturbed but she didn't wanna hear it. I gave her an ultimatum which stated me or her jov which she said she won't leave the job no matter what. (Note that i know her boss and if i wanted i could fire her with 1 phone call on the spot, however i did not do it) The next days we were acting like nothing has happened, except she took more shifts at work, started coming late every time (2-4 hours late after work).Something was up, i could feel that there was another guy involved so one night i went there and caught her with some 35+ year old guy who wanted to fight me. That night my heart was completely shattered, i could not believe that my girl did this to me, she knew that that was my greatest fear and like in spite of me she did it. The next morning i packed some stuff and i moved to my hometown, then a week later i moved out (she moved out 2 weeks ago). I called her 2-3 times this year which was a big mistake and it only made me suffer more, so im trying to NC her and try to heal up as best as i can. My heart is shattered and i can't believe after all i did for her she betrayed me in the worst possible way. 2
Marco Valerio Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's hard to give yourself to someone who will betray you. The best advice you can get is, avoid her completely (NC), and try to do your best to move on. She's proved you that she's not the girl for you. 3
EgoJoe Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 I have been cheated on. Life melts down. Focus on you and decide to move on. Whether a cheater can change is not the point. You need to move on, heal and gain perspective. When you detach the pain will lessen an you will grow IF you decide to grow from this. It is the easy way out to become a bitter misogynist. Your life will be infinitely more fulfilling if you rise to the occasion and become a better man as a result. 3
RySant Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 If you wallow on your feelings for her, you're just giving her the power over you. There IS a very loyal person out there waiting for you (despite your thoughts that there might not be any) so please try to improve yourself and, even if it's hard, move on and look forward to a new beginning 4
lauri Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 I'm sorry this happen to you. Right now, you're going to go through a few phases (anger, shock, denial, etc.), but eventually you'll come to the conclusion that this is a blessing in disguise. Could you imagine if you two had kids? You wouldn't even know if they were yours after catching her. You need to focus on the positives here. You need to change your focus to that she did YOU a favour and she's the one that LOST something. I want you to focus on shifting the power back to yourself. The more you spiral out of control and give her this power over you, the harder it is to move on. You need to start focus on "winning" this break up. Look at NC as a challenge, the longer you go, the more powerful you'll become. At first, you'll fake it...eventually you'll phase into indifference and will not even think of her anymore. Everytime you contact her or answer her call, you set yourself back to square one. In the meantime, spend this time focusing on improving yourself. Go to the gym, buy new clothes and start taking up some hobbies of interest. I promise you that if you handle this right, this could be one of the best things that happened to you. It's all about you now my man. 1
RySant Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 Just an additional: Maintain your morals. You KNOW how it hurts to be replaced without warning or chances. Do not ever do it to someone else. There are cases similar like yours out there who takes revenge on their other lovers who happened to be innocent in all these, or became cheaters themselves. Despite what everyone's belief, Karma is real. Let that deal with her "sin." Maintain your morals and values and the universe will reward you greatly 1
Author Droksie Posted January 24, 2016 Author Posted January 24, 2016 Ofcourse i would NEVER cheat no matter what, this summer a girl used to show interest in me and i immedietly told her that i have a girlfriend and that i love her. Funny thing is the three times i called her she was constantly crying from guilt. She had everything and she lost it because of *boredom*, because i wasn't going to bars with her and silly things like this, well i will let her live her life. She was supposed to come to my house to return some things i forgot from the apartment but i told her she shouldn't come because i don't want to see her ever again. Good thing is she has no social media and she lives in a different city so the chances of me meeting her somewhere are slim to none. Also thanks for the kind words i really appreciate the advices and ill try to bring myself up, i started going to the gym again, going out with friends.
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