kapooyah Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 Just found this forum so this is my first post. Last Sunday, I was set up on a blind date with a girl a friend knows- just meeting for drinks at a bar, super low pressure. I thought it went very well- we share a lot of interests and ended up talking for 4 hours straight (thought my watch was wrong when I looked at it). She seemed very interested and she gave me her # as we left. Had a couple benign text exchanges, then Tuesday I asked if she was interested in getting dinner sometime. Now before I go into that...this girl is really ambitious and is really passionate about becoming a nurse. She is in the last stretch of an intense EMT training program, alongside taking college courses and working a part time job. So her response was "I'm really busy finishing up my EMT training these next couple weeks, maybe after". So I told her to focus on her class, and wished her luck. She thanked me for understanding and said she can't wait for it to be over. That was Wednesday, today is Saturday, and we have not texted since then. Whats going on? One part of me feels like she's blowing me off, since going to dinner is literally 2 hours. The optimistic side says she's interested but since she's so career focused, she doesn't want the distraction for the next couple weeks. Really need advice, losing sleep over this. TIA
Lansing Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 I would take her at her word... I think part of it is you are afraid to "lose" her to another guy... Like, that she will run into another guy in the street and they will fall madly in love and you will miss your chance. The reality is, she could be blowing you off with an excuse so keep doing what you do in your normal day to day life and don't pine over her.... However, in 2 weeks maybe just touch base with her and see if she needs a break from studying (even just a drink... dinner might seem like too much pressue). and see how she responds. Maybe by then her exams will be done or she will take you up on the offer to grab a drink. Losing sleep over this one girl shows that you have too much invested in the outcome.
Lois_Griffin Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 So her response was "I'm really busy finishing up my EMT training these next couple weeks, maybe after". So I told her to focus on her class, and wished her luck. She thanked me for understanding and said she can't wait for it to be over. That was Wednesday, today is Saturday, and we have not texted since then. Whats going on? Sorry. She's not interested. Believe me, she'd FIND time for someone she was attracted to. Your clue was the "maybe after." That right there shows you she's not interested because if she were, she would have offered an alternate date to meet. She didn't. She didn't even agree to dinner - she said maybe. Take that OBVIOUS cue and move on. 2
Toodaloo Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 She is either a. not interested and using it as an excuse or b. really pressurized and stressed at the moment and can't find time to go to the loo let alone go out on a date. If I were you I would RING her (do not text) and just say hi you saw this movie was on and thought she could use a break as you know she is working hard... He answer to that will be your answer.
deckard11 Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 She's not into you. I really don't understand why women just can't be upfront and tell a guy they aren't interested. It's not that hard.
Author kapooyah Posted January 23, 2016 Author Posted January 23, 2016 The confusing thing is that when we met at the bar, she could have said she had to leave or something, I think after an hour or two she would have made up her mind. I even made sure she didn't have to leave or anything. But she didn't, and seemed to want to keep the conversation going. Lots of good signs too, solid eye contact, smiled a lot, played with her hair. Didn't even pick up her phone, didn't even want to get more than one drink, didn't really want to leave until they said they were closing. Like I said, we talked literally nonstop for 4 hours. That's what bothers me the most.
Toodaloo Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 Last month I moved house, had Christmas to deal with, lost a friend to cancer, had to shoot one of my horses and one of my chickens died all while being really ill. Its called life. I would not have wanted to meet up or date at that point. I turned guys down because of it. Nothing to do with them everything to do with not being able to take on anything else at that time. Give her a ring. At least then you will know. If she is pleased to hear from you she is keen. If her voice is stressed then just leave it.
PogoStick Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 There's nothing wrong with being assertive and just asking: Are you truly interested in meeting or do you think we're just not a good match? I've been doing similar schooling and it involves clinical hours at a hospital. When things hit I won't see my girlfriend for two weeks straight, even 3 weeks at times. I've had weeks with 4 x 12 hours shifts at a hospital, classes on the off days, and somehow I'm supposed to be reading textbooks and doing homework too. Then things cool off and I have some free time for a few weeks. And then it happens all over again!
angel.eyes Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 Based on everything you've shared, my guess is she's interested but busy and stressed right now. She gave you a timeframe. If I'm not sure when I'll be free, I'm not going to suggest a precise date either since I'm not sure I could honor it. I too give a timeframe in that situation. It's premature to assume the worst and claim she isn't interested. It's a possibility, but we just don't know at this point. Take what she says at face value. Call her up in two weeks, find out how she's doing, and ask her out to drinks again. Three possible outcomes: If she says yes, great. If she's still very busy, tell her to contact you when she's free. Leave the ball in her court at that point and get on with your life. If she says she's given things some thought and changed her mind...or any version of yadda yadda but "no"...you have your answer and can move on.
truth_seeker Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 She's not into you. I really don't understand why women just can't be upfront and tell a guy they aren't interested. It's not that hard. They're afraid of backlash. The guy getting angry and harassing them.
truth_seeker Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 So her response was "I'm really busy finishing up my EMT training these next couple weeks, maybe after". I say she's not into you and kindly blowing you off. Why? She used the word "maybe"... if she were into you, she would have told you lets make plans after my training is over... and she hasn't made an effort to send a simple text. She would be texting you to see how you're doing, talk about her training... I would let her go.
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