After he pulls away?

January 23, 2016

I never said to reach to him while he is caving. I said to wait this weekend when if he back to himself.

I never said to tell him she noticed he's different.

No, you didn't, and yes, you did.

January 23, 2016

>>>>>"Him pulling away is not him reconsidering the relationship. "<<<<

------

With respect candie13, how do you know what he's thinking?

You act like no man on the face of the earth has ever faded or ghosted before. You act like no man struggles with commitment issues....and just up and disappears from a relationship after a year, two years or even longer sometimes...never to be heard from again.

This *does* happen, and it can be quite devastating for the recipient of that behavior.

I understand caving too. I understand the need for space. But for the love of God, if the person needing space **for more than a few days*** can't speak with his/her partner and at least tell them they are struggling with some issues and need some time to think, then what the hell kind of relationship is that?

And how long is a woman, the woman he is supposed to be in a committed relationship with, supposed to wait ...before she realizes that her boyfriend has in fact, faded, or worse, ghosted and he is never coming back? Again, this is reality, it does happen.

Is there some sort of acceptable time period which allows him to disappear, leaving his partner in the dark, not knowing what the hell is going on ...with no consequences to him?

Where does HIS responsibility to communicate with his partner come into play?

As I said, I completely understand the need for space for a few dsys. Hell, there have been times when I need my space too!

But when it gets to be a week+ .... and still no word, within the context of a *committed* relationship, that is just inconsiderate and rude, and completely unfair to your partner.

I am so tired of advice to women telling them to just sit back, be patient, be understanding, don't speak up, suppress your feelings ...men will be men, etc....what a bunch of ****.

If a woman feels hurt or angry when her boyfriend treats her inconsiderately or disrespectfully ..then damit she has a right to those feelings.

And if, as a result of those feelings, SHE needs to pull back, then she should!

I absolutely agree she should *not* go all psycho, batshyt crazy on him, unleashing her fury. That would not be productive and would not solve anything.

But pulling back herself in response to a man pulling back? Yes I agree with that .... if that is what SHE needs to do.

JMO, but I think it's time we start expecting more from the men we get involved with, and more from our relationships. Just as THEY should start expecting more from the women they date too.

This caving (for a week+) with no word, fading or ghosting, disappearing is just wrong and not acceptable IMO.

joi, I am sorry you're going through this. My advice is be true to yourself!

If you feel angry and want to pull back, even IF and when he decides he ever wants to return and finally communicate with you, then by all means pull back.

Take whatever time YOU need to deal with this ...and come to a good place, so that when you DO talk, you can do so in a calm, rational manner, making the right decision for you, whether that be remaining in this relationship or choosing to move on.

You take care of YOU. Protect your heart. It's your heart on the line here, and no one else's.

As for him, obviously he knows how to take of himself....which he is doing right now, with NO thought or regard to how you are feeling or how his disappearing act is affecting you.

IMO, that IS cruel....selfish, and inconsiderate.

A few days caving --- no problem.

But this? No thank you!

I agree with this.

Everyone needs space and time to decompress now and then. But if you've been with someone for a while, it is only respectful that the distant party at least clue in their partner about what's going on. I don't think this means the issues needs to be hashed out at once, but simply that the person communicates if there is a problem. It's not fair for the other person to be left wondering what the heck is happening, if they've done something to push the person away, and so on.

A simple "Hey, I'm sorry, I've got a lot on my plate at the moment with work/school/kids/etc but I am looking forward to seeing you on the weekend" or something to that effect can go a long way in preventing unnecessary distress.

January 23, 2016

Has anyone posting on this thread ever been a parent before?

Has anyone posting here, ever been a single parent before?

Did anyone even mention that they guy in this case is a single parent with a kid somewhere between the age of 6 and 13?

January 23, 2016

I agree with this.

Everyone needs space and time to decompress now and then. But if you've been with someone for a while, it is only respectful that the distant party at least clue in their partner about what's going on. I don't think this means the issues needs to be hashed out at once, but simply that the person communicates if there is a problem. It's not fair for the other person to be left wondering what the heck is happening, if they've done something to push the person away, and so on.

A simple "Hey, I'm sorry, I've got a lot on my plate at the moment with work/school/kids/etc but I am looking forward to seeing you on the weekend" or something to that effect can go a long way in preventing unnecessary distress.

And how would he communicate that?

In this case, your example doesn't fit, as it's obvious it's the relationship and her that's the issue. He's overwhelmed by the increase in their intimacy of late.

So what could he possibly say to his woman, after feeling pressured by the relationship and by her (no fault of hers, it's the circumstances and his perspective) that he would know wouldn't be dangerous or make matters worse?

Nothing. He can't say, "I'm afraid of this increased level of intimacy, and what it means for me. I don't know if I can handle this." Because that would freak her out.

So he takes some space to work through those emotions himself.

If she gives him space, and he doesn't feel more or continued pressure from her while taking that space or get questions when he returns, and he feels she's safe and in control of her emotions, those fears he has disappear, and he's able to come back confident and ready to dive in.

UNDERSTANDING this difference between men and women is critical. You might not like it, but it is what it is.

January 23, 2016

No, you didn't, and yes, you did.

I am all for giving this man his space when he needs it. I am also for not creating any drama when he comes back to himself. Where I disagree is to not mention anything ever about his absence.

As per OP this caving was longer than his usual. Because of this I don't think letting it go without a word is smart. I think once he is back to himself and receptive she should let him know, in an none accusatory way that she noticed his long absence and to let him talk. Maybe his long absence had nothing to do with caving. If he was caving then he can fix it by saying: I'm sorry honey I had a lot to think about this week. It doesn't take more than that to fix her little heart.

January 23, 2016

Has anyone posting on this thread ever been a parent before?

Has anyone posting here, ever been a single parent before?

Did anyone even mention that they guy in this case is a single parent with a kid somewhere between the age of 6 and 13?

And this adds a whole extra level to what he's experiencing. He has to not only consider his own experience, but that of his child. That is something he has to process, and think about.

January 23, 2016

Hello, he's a single parent with sole custody of a young child. There are other variables. Knock? Knock? Anyone there?

January 23, 2016

You guys act like he's ghosted or disappeared for a week. Re-read the OP. They exchanged texts on Tuesday and Wednesday, and Friday.

He's just quieter and less cutesy. He's establishing some emotional distance. This is normal. There's no need to examine this with him.

January 23, 2016

And this adds a whole extra level to what he's experiencing. He has to not only consider his own experience, but that of his child. That is something he has to process, and think about.

I totally agree, I posted a ton about that.

January 23, 2016

It is not cruel, selfish, and unkind to act biologically and naturally and instinctively. And to think that way about another's actions shows that you're not really in control of your emotions, that you're letting someone else affect you too much, that you're more invested than he is, which is exactly why he instinctively pulling away in this situation.

The most common reason is due to him beginning to feel you are more invested than he is. You see when a man feels you are more invested, it puts pressure on him. Pressure is often why men pull away. He starts to feel responsible for your happiness. He may suddenly feel as if he just can’t make you happy like you want to be made happy. When a man senses he has let you down, he doesn’t feel good. Men fall in love with the way you make them feel. If they feel bad with your disappointment, they won’t bond truly with you. He is feeling that your happiness may be becoming dependent on him, which feels like pressure to him.

When a man pulls away and you resist this in anyway, you are confirming to him that you are more invested in him than he is in you. He has no fear of losing you at this point, that much is obvious as he is pulling away. When you resist, you show him fear. You are fearing losing him, which is showing him even more that you are way more invested.

When you resist him pulling away, you are also not showing that you trust his judgment, which also does believe it or not show him you don’t trust him. It goes without saying that trust is important. If a man is pulling away, trust that he does know his own mind and any attempt at convincing him otherwise is invalidating his judgment. It also makes him feel you only have your interests at heart, and not his, that you're selfish. If you really think about it, it is your interest that you are focused on when you resist when he pulls away.

So what to do when he pulls away? You let him go freely! No drama. You wish him well and by no means tell him you will wait for him or prompt him in any way. This means not telling him “call me when you are ready” or “let me know when you are ready to talk” or anything of that sort at all. It again shows fear and your insecurity. Your insecurity may be the thing he senses that is causing the pull away to start with, so don’t validate this even further for him.

Mirror his actions that’s what to do when he pulls away. You pull away also, not rudely, but just keep on about your life. Pushing a man never works, that just makes him pull away even more. Give him his space without drama. Just give it to him, don’t even talk to him about it. Why? Because men respond to distance, not words.

Chances are when you do this when he pulls away, he will notice this. A few days or even weeks may go by and he starts to wonder why you aren’t so concerned. Then his imagination will start working like yours has and you know it has. You wondered if he met someone else, you wonder if he is upset at something you said, you wonder of you did this or that. So that being said, now he wonders. A man’s imagination is your best weapon.

Exercise self control. If you are going to fall apart, it’s best to do that after he is gone. Do take this time to do some thinking of your own. If there has been some previous turmoil, you may even suggest that it may not be a bad idea and you could benefit as well. I know this is hard, but trust me, being in control of yourself during these times will leave a positive impression on him. If you are an emotional wreck, he may doubt even further if he wants to continue with you. A woman with self control is downright sexy.

In the meantime, while he is pulling away or distant, go on with your life. Do not send texts that you miss him, don’t contact him. He is clearly needing space, so respect his wishes and give it to him. This will allow him to feel safe if and when he should decide to return. A man needs to feel safe. He needs to feel he can go out into the world without you falling apart. It’s something that most look for in a long term partner, for having to shore up your partners weakness is a huge burden to carry.

Seriously, when men pull away, let them. No drama. If/when he comes back, you can let him know in a respectful way that although you aren’t happy with his choice, you are aware you can’t force him to feel for you what you feel. He will remember this about you. Your no drama actions will make him feel safe. Give him time to process. He may very well decide that you are worth it after all.

I know you will want to question him about why he pulled away, but let it ride for a bit. If it is a case of you are more invested than he is, you pushing will just confirm this for him. If he doesn’t step it back up without your prodding, chances are good you have your answer.

This is good advice for when you're in a relationship of under 3 months. It's totally unacceptable when you're in a relationship of 1 year and making plans for a life together. You're trying to apply dating games on an established long term relationship. Makes no sense.

At this point in a relationship there is no more 'who's invested more'. When you make plans on moving in together you are both invested, period !!

A long term relationship cannot survive on 'push and pull' 'acting indifferent' 'mirroring actions'. At some point you are in this together or you're not.

January 23, 2016

And how would he communicate that?

In this case, your example doesn't fit, as it's obvious it's the relationship and her that's the issue. He's overwhelmed by the increase in their intimacy of late.

So what could he possibly say to his woman, after feeling pressured by the relationship and by her (no fault of hers, it's the circumstances and his perspective) that he would know wouldn't be dangerous or make matters worse?

Nothing. He can't say, "I'm afraid of this increased level of intimacy, and what it means for me. I don't know if I can handle this." Because that would freak her out.

So he takes some space to work through those emotions himself.

If she gives him space, and he doesn't feel more or continued pressure from her while taking that space or get questions when he returns, and he feels she's safe and in control of her emotions, those fears he has disappear, and he's able to come back confident and ready to dive in.

UNDERSTANDING this difference between men and women is critical. You might not like it, but it is what it is.

When did he say it's the relationship causing him stress? He didn't. You're making assumptions, too.

You didn't understand my point. I did not say she shouldn't remain calm, nor did I say she has reason to panic. What I said was that it's perfectly reasonable to expect some degree of communication from a distant partner after this much time together, which he has given her. I didn't tell her this was unacceptable behaviour in this case.

I actually agree with much of what you wrote above. You simply missed the point of my post.

January 23, 2016

With respect candie13, how do you know what he's thinking?

I have no idea. I can't know. I think he is scared, but I have no idea what exactly he is thinking. Maybe the OP showed him that he is ready to take the plunge and that reminded him of his ex who left him with a baby. Maybe he needs to work through his own insecurities instead of making the OP pay for what his ex did to him. I've been seriously hurt and disappointed before. I know I am guilty of this...

You act like no man on the face of the earth has ever faded or ghosted before. You act like no man struggles with commitment issues....and just up and disappears from a relationship after a year, two years or even longer sometimes...never to be heard from again.

I have been faded, but usually it was the first 2 weeks. I have been suddenly dumped - but usually the first month - and I knew something was wrong. No, I have never ever been faded in the first year. That is not the norm. Most people, most men are kind and authentic. And if the OP has an authentic and meaningful relationship with her partner, he will stay with her because he loves her with all of his heart.

Katie... not all men are out there to cheat, seduce and dump women. Use, abuse and abandon out on a whim. I think... maybe these are some of your limiting internal beliefs? Try to work on those... the world is not out to get you. It actually is a beautiful place. And if you take your time to know the other person, you can single out men emotionally unavailable and not invite them in your life. But I know it took me a lot of time to be able to do this, and I had to start with myself. What do I want. How do I connect. How vulnerable do I allow myself to be infront of my partner... makes sense?

This *does* happen, and it can be quite devastating for the recipient of that behavior.

It does. In 2% of cases. And people give out clues. I am sorry, I find it hard to believe that you have the perfect relationship, all's well, and one day when you come home, all of his clothes are gone. Yes, it does happen. But that is the absolute worst scenario. The OP's boyfriend did withdraw, but he is in contact with her, texts her - not as often, visits her... he did not vanish into thin air.

I am sorry, all these catastrophic scenarios only poison any normal person in a normal relationship. Normality is not perfection. People will slip. They will **** up. It doesn't mean their partners need to take that personally. Everyone's going through **** we have no idea about...

I understand caving too. I understand the need for space. But for the love of God, if the person needing space **for more than a few days*** can't speak with his/her partner and at least tell them they are struggling with some issues and need some time to think, then what the hell kind of relationship is that?

there's no rule. How much is a "few days"? Does it include weekends? Makes no sense.

And how long is a woman, the woman he is supposed to be in a committed relationship with, supposed to wait ...before she realizes that her boyfriend has in fact, faded, or worse, ghosted and he is never coming back? Again, this is reality, it does happen.

he is not supposed to do anything. he's with her because he digs her, there's no written contract. Nobody owes OP anything, it's as easy as that. And who said anything about never coming back? I see abandonment issues and trust issues... and no, they are not belonging to the OP.

Is there some sort of acceptable time period which allows him to disappear, leaving his partner in the dark, not knowing what the hell is going on ...with no consequences to him?

yeah, it's called "the right to intimacy".

Where does HIS responsibility to communicate with his partner come into play?

Which responsibility is that? He talks to her because he loves her. She is not entitled to anything but love and respect.

As I said, I completely understand the need for space for a few dsys. Hell, there have been times when I need my space too!

But when it gets to be a week+ .... and still no word, within the context of a *committed* relationship, that is just inconsiderate and rude, and completely unfair to your partner.

I disagree, for the reasons mentioned above.

I am so tired of advice to women telling them to just sit back, be patient, be understanding, don't speak up, suppress your feelings ...men will be men, etc....what a bunch of ****.

Yes. It is called "reasoning" and being smart. Using that brains and not immediate needs of validation driven by insecurity. By reacting based on your own insecurities you won't accomplish anything else but getting yourself single again. I know, I've done it for 35 years . BRAINS.

If a woman feels hurt or angry when her boyfriend treats her inconsiderately or disrespectfully ..then damit she has a right to those feelings.

absolutely. But those are her feelings. Up to her to deal with them and not dump them on the partner, if she hopes to accomplish something with hi,

And if, as a result of those feelings, SHE needs to pull back, then she should!

I absolutely agree she should *not* go all psycho, batshyt crazy on him, unleashing her fury. That would not be productive and would not solve anything.

But pulling back herself in response to a man pulling back? Yes I agree with that .... if that is what SHE needs to do.

If she needs to, fine.

I am of the firm opinion that she HAS to. To let him figure it our for himself. This is not about the OP. This is about her partner.

JMO, but I think it's time we start expecting more from the men we get involved with, and more from our relationships. Just as THEY should start expecting more from the women they date too.

I fully disagree. Expecting leads to disappointment.

This caving (for a week+) with no word, fading or ghosting, disappearing is just wrong and not acceptable IMO.

I think it's bad. But given her context, I do not think it's inacceptable. But these are personal standards, of course.

If you feel angry and want to pull back, even IF and when he decides he ever wants to return and finally communicate with you, then by all means pull back.

Best way of destroying a perfectly good relationship. Beat him while he's down. Think you deserve better because he's not quite as perfect as you want him to be... I am flawed. I have huge flaws. I overthink, I analyze, i jump to conclusions, etc etc. I am working at keeping that into place, but it will show up in my RS, eventually. I just hope my partner won't expect perfection.

It's not the fact that the disappeared. It is how he handles the relationship after he comes back. Does he speak? Does he need more time? How is their interaction? Is he genuine? IS he feeling ready to share? I think this is a very delicate moment, in a relationship, that moment where you share your vulnerability and show to your partner is you are able to share intimacy, by talking about all those fears, the worst nightmares that made him pull... I have compassion for that... But I do agree that if the OP is not strong and stable, it might trigger anxiety on her side. And anger.

Take whatever time YOU need to deal with this ...and come to a good place, so that when you DO talk, you can do so in a calm, rational manner, making the right decision for you, whether that be remaining in this relationship or choosing to move on.

You take care of YOU. Protect your heart. It's your heart on the line here, and no one else's.

As for him, obviously he knows how to take of himself....which he is doing right now, with NO thought or regard to how you are feeling or how his disappearing act is affecting you.

IMO, that IS cruel....selfish, and inconsiderate.

People who are busy judging the others have no time to love them. Love comes from a place of compassion.

OP, one day at a time. Take one day at a time to see what's going on. And do the math after that. Just... don't poison yourself with fear and negative thoughts. If he loves you, he will come back. And if he doesn't love you anymore... well, there ain't that much that you can do anyway, can you?

all the best!

January 23, 2016

Hello, he's a single parent with sole custody of a young child. There are other variables. Knock? Knock? Anyone there?

Makes no difference. Sending a communication to your girlfriend takes 2 seconds. He's not breastfeeding. I know single parents of 4 that have time to reply to their text and make phone calls.

January 23, 2016

Some background info: I am 32, he is 33. He has been divorced for 5 years, has sole custody of one child from that marriage.

Other posters, do the math on what that kid's age must be. Explain the sole custody. Then tell my why you're so sure you know exactly what's going on here with no actual communication or conformation. Anyone here ever been a parent? A single parent?

January 23, 2016

Is it possible the child isnt keen on the OP? Does the child not want to give up just living alone with dad and move in full time with her?

OP how is the child with you? Do you get on?

January 23, 2016

This is good advice for when you're in a relationship of under 3 months. It's totally unacceptable when you're in a relationship of 1 year and making plans for a life together. You're trying to apply dating games on an established long term relationship. Makes no sense.

At this point in a relationship there is no more 'who's invested more'. When you make plans on moving in together you are both invested, period !!

A long term relationship cannot survive on 'push and pull' 'acting indifferent' 'mirroring actions'. At some point you are in this together or you're not.

No, wrong. One year doesn't mean you're automatically on the same page and at equal points of investment in the relationship. Nope.

And at no point in the relationship should a man ever feel pressure or that his woman's happiness is dependent on him.

January 23, 2016

Makes no difference.

Involvement of a child, especially at the point of deciding whether to move in together and officially form a family unit with that child, absolutely makes a difference.

My god.

January 23, 2016

This is good advice for when you're in a relationship of under 3 months. It's totally unacceptable when you're in a relationship of 1 year and making plans for a life together. You're trying to apply dating games on an established long term relationship. Makes no sense.

At this point in a relationship there is no more 'who's invested more'. When you make plans on moving in together you are both invested, period !!

A long term relationship cannot survive on 'push and pull' 'acting indifferent' 'mirroring actions'. At some point you are in this together or you're not.

Girl.... I haven't been in that position in quite some time, but the only time when you can think that "you're both invested" is when you have a ring on your finger and a firm date for marriage. Until then, you're still testing the waters... it makes sense to me and yeah, there is a high degree of uncertainty that needs to be handled. And personal anxiety. Yet, with the right person, it seems like a good idea, hahaha !

January 23, 2016

Involvement of a child, especially at the point of deciding whether to move in together and officially form a family unit with that child, absolutely makes a difference.

My god.

Yes it does. And why is everyone making an issue out of the fact that it has been a year.

It that it? A year, 365 days, one birthday each, one christmas, one easter, one everything. Just ONE of everything. And in this case, not even one year yet.

A year isnt that long out of someones life considering we live for 80+ years. It isnt a hugely committed relationship at a year I'm afraid and if not living together. You're still just dating.

January 23, 2016

I have no idea. I can't know. I think he is scared, but I have no idea what exactly he is thinking. Maybe the OP showed him that he is ready to take the plunge and that reminded him of his ex who left him with a baby. Maybe he needs to work through his own insecurities instead of making the OP pay for what his ex did to him. I've been seriously hurt and disappointed before. I know I am guilty of this...

I have been faded, but usually it was the first 2 weeks. I have been suddenly dumped - but usually the first month - and I knew something was wrong. No, I have never ever been faded in the first year. That is not the norm. Most people, most men are kind and authentic. And if the OP has an authentic and meaningful relationship with her partner, he will stay with her because he loves her with all of his heart.

Katie... not all men are out there to cheat, seduce and dump women. Use, abuse and abandon out on a whim. I think... maybe these are some of your limiting internal beliefs? Try to work on those... the world is not out to get you. It actually is a beautiful place. And if you take your time to know the other person, you can single out men emotionally unavailable and not invite them in your life. But I know it took me a lot of time to be able to do this, and I had to start with myself. What do I want. How do I connect. How vulnerable do I allow myself to be infront of my partner... makes sense?

It does. In 2% of cases. And people give out clues. I am sorry, I find it hard to believe that you have the perfect relationship, all's well, and one day when you come home, all of his clothes are gone. Yes, it does happen. But that is the absolute worst scenario. The OP's boyfriend did withdraw, but he is in contact with her, texts her - not as often, visits her... he did not vanish into thin air.

I am sorry, all these catastrophic scenarios only poison any normal person in a normal relationship. Normality is not perfection. People will slip. They will **** up. It doesn't mean their partners need to take that personally. Everyone's going through **** we have no idea about...

there's no rule. How much is a "few days"? Does it include weekends? Makes no sense.

he is not supposed to do anything. he's with her because he digs her, there's no written contract. Nobody owes OP anything, it's as easy as that. And who said anything about never coming back? I see abandonment issues and trust issues... and no, they are not belonging to the OP.

yeah, it's called "the right to intimacy".

Which responsibility is that? He talks to her because he loves her. She is not entitled to anything but love and respect.

I disagree, for the reasons mentioned above.

Yes. It is called "reasoning" and being smart. Using that brains and not immediate needs of validation driven by insecurity. By reacting based on your own insecurities you won't accomplish anything else but getting yourself single again. I know, I've done it for 35 years . BRAINS.

absolutely. But those are her feelings. Up to her to deal with them and not dump them on the partner, if she hopes to accomplish something with hi,

If she needs to, fine.
I am of the firm opinion that she HAS to. To let him figure it our for himself. This is not about the OP. This is about her partner.

I fully disagree. Expecting leads to disappointment.

I think it's bad. But given her context, I do not think it's inacceptable. But these are personal standards, of course.
Best way of destroying a perfectly good relationship. Beat him while he's down. Think you deserve better because he's not quite as perfect as you want him to be... I am flawed. I have huge flaws. I overthink, I analyze, i jump to conclusions, etc etc. I am working at keeping that into place, but it will show up in my RS, eventually. I just hope my partner won't expect perfection.
It's not the fact that the disappeared. It is how he handles the relationship after he comes back. Does he speak? Does he need more time? How is their interaction? Is he genuine? IS he feeling ready to share? I think this is a very delicate moment, in a relationship, that moment where you share your vulnerability and show to your partner is you are able to share intimacy, by talking about all those fears, the worst nightmares that made him pull... I have compassion for that... But I do agree that if the OP is not strong and stable, it might trigger anxiety on her side. And anger.

People who are busy judging the others have no time to love them. Love comes from a place of compassion.

OP, one day at a time. Take one day at a time to see what's going on. And do the math after that. Just... don't poison yourself with fear and negative thoughts. If he loves you, he will come back. And if he doesn't love you anymore... well, there ain't that much that you can do anyway, can you?

all the best!

Great post, Candie. I agree with every word, especially the bolded!!!

There's a lot of scary catastrophizing and unhealthy expectations of late around here, it's unhealthy.

January 23, 2016

No, wrong. One year doesn't mean you're automatically on the same page and at equal points of investment in the relationship. Nope.

And at no point in the relationship should a man ever feel pressure or that his woman's happiness is dependent on him.

I unfortunately agree with this post.

and yeah, turn up the heat and put some pressure on him and... poof, he's gone. And you only need one bad strike to f"ck up a perfectly good relationship. I know, I've done this quite successfully last year. And it took me 5 years to meet that decent guy. Anyways, we live and we learn - from our own mistakes better than from any other book !

January 23, 2016

Involvement of a child, especially at the point of deciding whether to move in together and officially form a family unit with that child, absolutely makes a difference.

My god.

Stop misinterpreting me. It's like you're doing it on purpose.

Makes no difference that he is a single parent in terms of answering his text.

January 23, 2016

I am a single parent to 3 children. There are times when the stress is insurmountable. Yet I still have time to communicate even briefly with the person I love.

If a man's actions showed he could behave anyway he wanted no matter how inconsiderate that may be with no fear of losing me, I'd be done.

January 23, 2016

Stop misinterpreting me. It's like you're doing it on purpose.

Makes no difference that he is a single parent in terms of answering his text.

They've been in contact three days out of the week. What's the issue?

Again, you're acting like he's ghosted and gone poof and completely fallen off the planet. He hasn't.

January 23, 2016

No, wrong. One year doesn't mean you're automatically on the same page and at equal points of investment in the relationship. Nope.

And at no point in the relationship should a man ever feel pressure or that his woman's happiness is dependent on him.

They are house hunting together, if that's being invested than what is it! If a man wants to melt his finances with me and we make the biggest purchase of our life together he better be invested.

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