rosita Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 (edited) I met my boyfriend back in august and it all seemed so great. he was telling everyone that he was very happy in the relationship.we made it official during thanksgiving and publicly online first week of December. he was the one to ask me to be his girlfriend. we planned a vacation last week in December per his request and I was so excited to go. suddenly, I felt he started to shift attitude and becoming more aggravated with me the first day we got there for no reason and had our first disagreement. then he told me that he felt I was too pleasing and agreeable and needed to be more forward with my dislikes as he needed to know his boundaries. I had no reason to be upset with him prior to that as we were having such great time up to that point, but I told him that I would take more initiative planning things to do and letting him know if something bothered me. Last weekend we spent the weekend together, all planned out by me per his request and it was great! suddenly on the following Tuesday he did not call me. he said that we needed time to think, that he loved being with me but that in the back of his head, he felt we were not right for each other. I agree to give him a couple of days to think, but he has not contacted me at all. i'm heartbroken since this is the first guy in so long I felt we actually had a great potential for a long term relationship which is what he wanted and the first relationship i had in a long time. I don't know what to do. whether contact him and ask for a final decision of whether we are broken up officially, we still listed in facebook as a couple, or wait until he contacts me. i just don't want to lose him. This seems insane. He knew my personality before we got in the relationship, its not like i have changed myself during that time. Thoughts and advice please? Edited January 22, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs ~6
smackie9 Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 It could be a number of things. People can get excited about someone, then as time goes on the excitement starts to wear off and they realize they don't feel the same. It's normal, and it happens. Another reason could be he is being pulled in another direction by an attraction, like a new co-worker. This would be my pick when someone does a 180 in their behavior, start making excuses with what's wrong with the relationship as tho they are trying to convince themselves that it's not working. No matter how much you love them, you can't do anything to change how they feel about you. IMO he is being a damn coward and not coming out and telling you what is going on. I don't by the "I need time to think." I believe a decision has already been made. 1
LostOnes05 Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 Some people are stupid and like drama...live your life and let him contact you. If he doesn't you've got your answer. 1
Saracena Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 No, you need to give him the space he's asked for to think through his issues, so don't contact him. Now you need to pull away yourself and get busy with your own life. Use this time to decide if he's actually the one for you! Bear in mind he may take longer than a few days but even if so let him take the lead and refrain from getting in touch, which could serve to push him away further. Give him the space to miss you! Play it cool. It's quite common for some guys to pull back at this time in order to think things over. 2
preraph Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 To me, if someone asks for space and it's not just a work project or something, that means he feels you are wanting more attention than he enjoys giving, and yes, it probably will lead to breaking up. Sorry. But do not contact him.
Author rosita Posted January 22, 2016 Author Posted January 22, 2016 I am refraining from contacting him...however, I do not know what to do about our status on facebook. we still have that we are in a relationship. what I am so angry about is that if he wants to break up, I rather him do it sooner than later. I don't want to be left in limbo so to speak. what should I do about that? take my facebook down or leave it.
Saracena Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 I am refraining from contacting him...however, I do not know what to do about our status on facebook. we still have that we are in a relationship. what I am so angry about is that if he wants to break up, I rather him do it sooner than later. I don't want to be left in limbo so to speak. what should I do about that? take my facebook down or leave it. Leave it. Otherwise it looks a bit desperate. I realise it's hard but try and focus on something else. Call up your friends and arrange a night out!
katiegrl Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 (edited) . suddenly, I felt he started to shift attitude and becoming more aggravated with me the first day we got there for no reason and had our first disagreement. then he told me that he felt I was too pleasing and agreeable and needed to be more forward with my dislikes as he needed to know his boundaries. Sweetie, he feels you're too complacent (for him) and he's bored. There is nothing challenging him, nothing motivating him to move closer or even to stay with you. This is why I am such a huge proponent of women SPEAKING UP and if you feel mad or disappointed about something, for the love of all things beautiful, SAY SOMETHING. Don't be afraid to "rock that boat," for fear he might react badly, or lose interest (or make HIM mad).... the truth is just the opposite. He will RESPECT you for it... it will keep him on his toes so to speak, you will maintain his attraction and interest and he will know his boundaries. Men KNOW when they behave badly...and they WANT women to call them on it. Most men do anyway. They don't like getting away with shyt. Even if it's something very minor, that may not be a huge deal to you, still say something. Otherwise you risk appearing like a doormat, and no man (or woman for that matter) wants a doormat. But what's done is done.... give him the space he asked for, and remain true to yourself. The ball is in HIS court. Sorry. Edited January 22, 2016 by katiegrl 1
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