DarkHorizon Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 After reading several threads, I noticed a couple of comments like these: "He/she cheated on you and left you! He/she will be very unhappy!" "He/she deserves the worst! Same will happen to him/her" "Just wait! He/she will crawl back to you, crying!" I understand the anger, but honestly, I don't think this is the best line of thought or approach in these situations. The process of breakup healing should not be about karma, payback, or revenge. If you are serious about moving on and leave your past relationship behind, all that negative wishful thinking will only keep you connected to the ex-partner. It's just not worth it. We know that those ruminating thoughts can be easily turned into an obsession, but even worse, take control of your mind and make your ex-partner even more present than ever. My ex partner of four years lied to me, cheated on me, blamed me for the end of the relationship, and then moved out overnight. When I came back from work the next day, all her belongings were gone. I have no respect for her, except for her decision to leave me. That I have to respect, regardless of her reasons. Still, I don't wish her anything bad in her future. I just don't care about her anymore. Through NC, we can practice indifference instead. Indifference is the ultimate goal - and only when we have finally achieved it, we'll know we moved on. 1
Bo34 Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 I most certainly agree with this. Indifference is the ultimate goal. If you have any sort of hate, hostility, anger, or any emotion whatsoever, you still haven't fully healed from a breakup. If you constantly think about the past and your ex, you haven't healed, either. Indifference is the goal. However, that being said, I will admit, even though I'm nearly 6 months post-breakup and no longer waste my days thinking about my ex any longer (NC helped immensely), I still don't think I'm at that indifference stage nor do I think I'll ever be.. Because even though I don't get emotional if and when I do think of her, I still would be more than happy to hear if she is suffering in some way shape or form. So it's weird....
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