marky00 Posted January 24, 2016 Posted January 24, 2016 (edited) If a caretaker personality, fear. Fear of loss. Failure to care. A caretaker personality ties up a bunch of self-worth in the health of the object of care. This is very true. Although in my case it was with my pet dog. I definitely pushed on way too long but looking back, I didnt pull the trigger because I didn't want to feel like I Failed. Once I endured enough hell and I reached my absolute limit as a carer, one morning I woke up and from a complete survival perspective I did the deed and ended his life. A few weeks after it I definately felt the decision was correct. But who knows.... if I did it 6 or 12 months earlier, would I have questioned it and felt like a failure? I will never know. We are wired in a way to dislike failure. I think your hesitation is that if you break it off prior to reaching your absolute limit, you may beat yourself up later when the feeling of failure sets in. Not saying that would actually happen but I believe this fear of failure and that it will haunt you later is one reason for your hesitation. That list she sent you is pretty full-on... and a rare thing. What she asks for is totally unreasonable but there is one upside here, at least she is communicating. Have a good look at that list and only concern yourself with the points that relate to some of your negative behaviours (as humans, we all have faults and your gf is going to be your best teacher here). Address those and if she still isn't happy, then you have done all you can do. You can't fix her but you can fix you (understand?). For example she made a point that most girls tend to agree with I have found. This is an example of something you can fix. When a girl is telling you some of her problems, don't try and offer a solution or play devil's advocate. This can irritate them for some reason. Just listen and be supportive by acknowledging the issue. Don't offer solutions unless she specifically asks for one. Its counter-intuitive I know, but sometimes doing nothing is more. Also don't try to subdue her anger like she said, that won't work with any woman. That just makes them more angry. When a woman gets angry or is pushing for an argument, just sit there quietly and have a little chuckle inside yourself about how silly the situation is. Believe me, within minutes she will stop dead in her tracks if she has any self-respect. That is how you handle your partner's anger. Edited January 24, 2016 by marky00
Recommended Posts