BlueIris Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 NO. Several months ago, I started dating a girl who told me just before we were about to get intimate that she had herpes, which was a deal breaker. I posted a thread about that in October. I never had sex with her, but for a little while it made me paranoid about std's. Fast forward to January, and I have been having unprotected sex with the girlfriend Ive been referencing in this thread. As the story goes, exactly one week after we first had unprotected sex, I came down with what I thought were symptoms of chlamydia, so I confronted my gf about her sexual history. I'm saying it's possible the herpes incident was playing out in the back of my mind with this current girl I've been talking about in this thread. Oh, I see. You were scared because you had unprotected sex with someone even after the lesson about STD risk. Are you saying that that doesn't have anything to do with the most recent woman but instead is about your own risk-taking? 3
Author One_Made_of_Silver Posted January 23, 2016 Author Posted January 23, 2016 Oh, I see. You were scared because you had unprotected sex with someone even after the lesson about STD risk. Are you saying that that doesn't have anything to do with the most recent woman but instead is about your own risk-taking? These are all valid points. snip That is almost certainly the case. The conscious mind floats on top of the 'preconscious' and 'subconscious' minds, and they play a huge part in our existence. Well done for drawing the connection between what you did and why you did it. But how do I even begin to explain this to my girlfriend and make her understand?
preraph Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 Tell her you were mad at yourself for having these fears and nonetheless taking chances and that it's all on you and you're embarrassed about it now. Stop having unprotected sex. There are many people with "silent herpies" who don't even know they have it but can transmit it and HIV same way. So just stop having unprotected sex until you're married to someone you know wouldn't cheat on you and with whom you both have already gone to the lab and been tested. 3
Author One_Made_of_Silver Posted January 23, 2016 Author Posted January 23, 2016 NO. Several months ago, I started dating a girl who told me just before we were about to get intimate that she had herpes, which was a deal breaker. I posted a thread about that in October. I never had sex with her, but for a little while it made me paranoid about std's. Fast forward to January, and I have been having unprotected sex with the girlfriend Ive been referencing in this thread. As the story goes, exactly one week after we first had unprotected sex, I came down with what I thought were symptoms of chlamydia, so I confronted my gf about her sexual history. I'm saying it's possible the herpes incident was playing out in the back of my mind, which made me act out with this current girl I've been talking about in this thread. Maybe. I don't want to make excuses. Oh, I see. You were scared because you had unprotected sex with someone even after the lesson about STD risk. Are you saying that that doesn't have anything to do with the most recent woman but instead is about your own risk-taking? I should definitely stop having unprotected sex with girls I meet going forward. I think in the back of my mind I know I've been taking stupid risks. 1
Author One_Made_of_Silver Posted January 23, 2016 Author Posted January 23, 2016 Tell her you were mad at yourself for having these fears and nonetheless taking chances and that it's all on you and you're embarrassed about it now. Stop having unprotected sex. There are many people with "silent herpies" who don't even know they have it but can transmit it and HIV same way. So just stop having unprotected sex until you're married to someone you know wouldn't cheat on you and with whom you both have already gone to the lab and been tested. I don't know if sharing this information with her will make her understand and take me back or if it will just freak her out further? 1
Satu Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 I doubt that anything would be gained by explaining it to her at this point. It looks like you've passed the point of no return. 1
preraph Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 I don't know if sharing this information with her will make her understand and take me back or if it will just freak her out further? I don't know either, but to me, it's your last resort. Sometimes girls get soft and mushy when a man is admitting his weakness; sometimes not.
kendahke Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 If she has asked you to leave her alone for the time being, then leave her alone. She has to want to be with you and until she does, you going around her grovelling and cringing sets you further from you goal. I'm not saying that in 2 weeks time, she will want to take back up with you. Most likely, no. If she wanted to be with you, she'd have accepted your apology by now and allowed you back into her presence. In the meantime, you have a lot of work you need to be doing on yourself and your inability to stop yourself from flying off the handle, blaming her for the risky things you did with other women in your past. Right now, it's not about you getting back what you want. It's about her and her decision of whether or not it's wisdom to continue your relationship.
Author One_Made_of_Silver Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 Okay ...I know it's sometimes difficult to follow my thought process....but based on this ^^ this is now what I suggest. Go no contact for 2- 3 weeks, give her space to think about you and to miss you. Touch base after that .....and see how it plays out then. But going no contact till then is crucial, cuz it will give her time to miss you. If when you touch base in two weeks, she still gives you a *maybe* .....then walk. Good luck and if you feel inclined, let us know what happens! She texted me today. At first I didn't recognize the number. Here's how the conversation went: Her: Hey Me: Hey. How's it going? Her: It's great. I think I finally got the hang of my schedule. How are you? Me: That's good. I'm doing well, just busy with work. I'm getting ready for some business trips I have in next couple months. I don't read anything into it. I had pretty much accepted that things didn't end well and we are done. I guess she was just curious as to whether I'm still alive.
ilovemefirst Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 She doesnt like the fact that you arent chasing her anymore. What did you respond?
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