SSJROMANCE Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 I'm curious how people feel about this. When you hear "they are dating" does that always mean to you that they are sexually active? I'm talking couples over the age of 18.
Nilfiry Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Dating does not really imply anything. It all depends on the ones viewing the relationship. Dating alone to me means nothing. I do not immediately think they are having sex, romantically involved, or even getting along. I do not necessarily think they are even exclusive to each other. This is all thanks to most people having no clue what they are doing in regards to interpersonal relationships. It is a case-by-case basis. 4
carhill Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 For most people, the implication of dating is getting to know someone while enjoying the pleasures of the flesh. The timeline varies depending on person/partner but IME the implication is there. Hence, when I was dating as a young man, as a virgin and older, when not, I expected and accepted that the ladies I was dating were having sex with other men they were dating. That doesn't mean all of them were but it was common enough to be an aspect of the interaction. Pretty much, if someone hasn't pledged their fidelity to you, and has exhibited actions which support that pledge and inspired your trust in that pledge, accept that they're not exclusive nor are required nor compelled to be exclusive. It's voluntary.
salparadise Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 (edited) Yes, of course it does. It's what adults do. Dating is the social construct for choosing someone to do it with. Back when I was on OKC, there was a question that asked if you joined the site just to find people to have sex with. My explanation was along the lines of... no, but neither am I interested in the demure, reticent types who intend to start a guy out in the friendzone to see how long he'll keep trying to wine and dine his way out of it. If we're gong to date, let's be real about what that means. That little paragraph did a good job of separating the ones with divergent philosophies. Edited January 21, 2016 by salparadise
Robratory Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 In the US and in general, yes, dating adults are assumed to be having sex.
losangelena Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Unless they're very religious, then yes, probably. Why?
PegNosePete Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Yes, unless in the early stages of dating.
central Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Dating to me implies that within some short period of time there will be sex involved. By short period of time I mean anywhere from 2 dates to 2 or 3 months. The goal of dating is seeking a sexual relationship with someone, otherwise you're just friends. That may be fine for some people, or those with particular convictions, but I think they are a small minority.
carhill Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 OP, does this passage have relevance here? Loose Wife? Before I had met my wife she had slept with many guys on the first or second date. I did not know this until after we were married. I asked specifically about her past before marriage and she had lied. Of course I am extremely upset about this but there is one in particular I am devastated about. After about 2 years of dating (about her longest relationship she had ever had) I broke up with her. She says I was the love of her life and all the guys before me didn't come close. We got back together 6 weeks later and eventually got married. I told her I would get back together with her as long as she hadn't been with anybody else during our breakup. She said of course not. Well I find out she lied. In other words, are you looking for general comments about dating and sex or specific to your personal circumstances?
SmartDude Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Well, there are very few people who are getting together just purley for sex(as strangers). I tried being honest and transparent before but that just never works. It seems most women need to feel like they are on a "real date", whatever that means. So now I just play their game. I pretend that a relationship is possible and that is why im there on the date. I guess this lets them keep their dignity if they think in their minds that they are not just there for sex+affection.
The D Train Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Few will not have sex (intercourse) until marriage, some will only do oral sex or less. or it might not be until very far into the "dating". It was 6 months of dating before my (wife, then gf) & I had sex. Then there's the Duggers who only allow side-hugging during courtship and then hand holding when engaged. There's always the "3-date" rule.
GunslingerRoland Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 I would assume that 2 people who are dating for more than a month and are over 18 are in a sexual relationship unless there are special circumstances. (one being a virgin, strong religious reasons, etc.)
klim Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 these are two different domains - there are some cases when one should ask:"does sex imply dating?" I have a friend - a woman, 50 y/o, the mother of four kids, married. We don't date - we're just having sex
MrDuck Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 To me it completely did, yes... ...Until I was dating and wasn't! To be fair I think that is what is implied though, even having been in a relationship where we weren't having sex for a long while, it still doesn't effect what i'd assume about others ....not that I spend much time thinking on that side of other peoples relationships.
GemmaUK Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 To me it's still dating but I don't jump to sex quickly. I'm still sussing someone. But by that time the guy seems to be all in to relationship mode.
Miss Peach Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 In my case I want to have sex with boyfriends and not guys I'm 'dating'. Having said that most people (especially guys) assume that you've been sexual if you say you're dating unless you mention it was only a handful of dates. 1
GemmaUK Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 In my case I want to have sex with boyfriends and not guys I'm 'dating'. Having said that most people (especially guys) assume that you've been sexual if you say you're dating unless you mention it was only a handful of dates. Exactly! Which is why I don't date much at all. Last date was years ago. The assumption is that I do date a lot based upon how I look. I hate it big time!!
GunslingerRoland Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 I guess terminology varies. If someone says they are dating someone, I assume that they don`t mean they`ve gone on a date or two with them and are still trying to figure things out. I assume they mean exclusively or at least regularly dating.
Miss Peach Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Exactly! Which is why I don't date much at all. Last date was years ago. The assumption is that I do date a lot based upon how I look. I hate it big time!! I'm the complete opposite. When I'm single I go out with any seemingly quality guys I can meet and filter from there. I love meeting men. The thing is I usually have a pretty good idea if I would potentially be interested in something within a few dates so in my case nothing really evolves to the point where we have sex before they stop asking me out or I tell them I'm not interested in continuing.
preraph Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 I guess it means different things to different people, but to me dating means going out and trying to get to know a person to see if they're someone you might be interested in. People who date a lot will certainly throw a lot more back into the pond. People who ONLY will go out with someone they already know may not have as many "misses." But neither will they have as many dates and may miss a good person. Of course, I'm ancient, but in the days before the roaring '70s when all rules were blowing in the wind, we distinguished between "dating" and "dating around."
Tayla Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 I'm curious how people feel about this. When you hear "they are dating" does that always mean to you that they are sexually active? I'm talking couples over the age of 18. No. Nor need it be of concern when introduced to the couple to "assume " such. Some date for the enjoyment of company. Genuine courtship is not a time to hop in the sack. Those first few months will determine the chemistry or dynamics of furthering. Shockingly I do not date for the goal to get laid. Nor do I expect the gent to be mislead. Friendships need established...Met way too many couples that didn't establish that foundation. Things crumble quickly. 1
RedRobin Posted January 23, 2016 Posted January 23, 2016 It seems that most people these days assume that 'dating' = having sex with them, which is one reason I work very hard to avoid going on even one date with men who are known womanizers... And work very hard to vet men in advance before being associated with them romantically in any way. Lots of a holes and losers are happy to try and insinuate they slept with a woman just by being seen with her. Trying to meet people... It's not an easy task at all. It seems our social networks are completely gone these days... And we are obliged to fend for ourselves. It's one thing I absolutely hate the most about 'dating' these days.
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