EO422 Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Well to start off..I have been dating this girl for almost 2 months. She was my friend before this, and we hit it off well. I enjoyed spending time with her. I wasn't extremely attracted to her, but then just somehow after awhile we connected and I just HAD to date her. Like I couldn't convince myself otherwise. She was my friend and we talked every day, yet when I would think of not dating her it would make me upset and sad. It's hard to explain, like my mind and feelings gave me no choice but to date her, I tried hard to get my mind off dating her but I just couldn't! Anyways, again..I am not totally attracted to her. I think she is cute, and I love her other qualities. It's just, right now this attraction thing is hitting me really hard. It's difficult to describe, sometimes she is super cute, and sow times I'm just like "not totally feeling the attraction". I am kind of stuck here, unsure of what to do. I mean, it would be great to have someone I was totally attracted too, but deep down I also know that's not all of what makes a relationship. Like I love her eyes, and she is also cute to me for some reason. Some things do bother me a bit, but I kinda try to look past them because they are out of her control and not everything can be attended to with what you are looking for in a partner, everyone has flaws. I may seem like I know some stuff, but I really don't know everything. The worst part is I don't know about breaking up. Obviously it is hard to do, but also because I am unsure if I am just overthinking this all, because it makes no sense to me how before we dated these flaws mattered little to me. I knew it was there, I knew the attraction wasn't 100% but I was still drawn in from other things I guess. It's just like I have a microscope on the "being half attracted" thing I guess. Another reason I don't want to break up is also because I know love can grow. It happens. I have been told I am okay and to stop thinking so much and to keep on in this relationship to see if it can grow into something more, which is honestly why I am in this. I want to see if I can get something more out of this. To be honest, something is growing.l I can feel a connection. I love being around her and spending time with her l, it's great. Something just seems off and does not seem right to me, however I have OCD and think about things way too much. I microscope in on things. So this could totally be me overthinking instead of just doing and enjoying. I just don't want to waste her time, but I am in this to see if we can grow something. Any advice anyone? Should I stay and stop overthinking and relax and let it all pan out, or is this something I should end(kinda don't want to end it).
smudge21 Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 If you're this unsure, then I'd say relax and let it pan out. However, I know that feeling of over thinking every little detail. It's hard to turn off the brain once it starts working. Whatever decision you make, just remind yourself that at the time, it was the right decision. With being so unsure, there's likelihood you'll regret something or other, no matter which way you go, so focus on what feels right and do that. You also have to remember that no matter how you feel, there's a living breathing human being at the end of your radar and her thoughts will be her own, she may feel close too, as a friend or more. No matter how much over thinking you do, you cannot prepare for what she may want. It's a tough one... then again, if it were easy, this site wouldn't exist.
kendahke Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 I have been told I am okay and to stop thinking so much and to keep on in this relationship to see if it can grow into something more, which is honestly why I am in this. I want to see if I can get something more out of this. To be honest, something is growing.l I can feel a connection. I love being around her and spending time with her Does she know that you don't find her attractive? If not, you're not being fair to her. If you're not attracted to her, then the best this girl can be for you is like your sister. Some girls are cool with just being your friend, but if you're calling yourself being in a romantic relationship with her, at some point, she's going to ask you why you're not acting like a guy who is attracted to her-- like a man who is attracted to a woman he loves. Don't treat her like some science experiment and don't waste her time. If you know, today, that you do not have the requisite amount of attraction in order for her to be attractive to you, then stop this. You're not being fair to her.
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