FOBolous Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Legitimate question. She dumped me, and I initiated no contact. 3 weeks later, she called me at midnight, drunk, for a booty call. I told her no (lol) cause i had something important to do early next morning (which i really did). The next day, she texted me just to stay hi, and i pretty much ignored that message. My question is, is it safe for me to contact her now?
Simon Phoenix Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Not if you want her back as a girlfriend and are recovered from the break. If you are just looking for emotionless sex, then sure, but if you're starting an account on a break-up form to ask this question it's clear that you aren't ready to go down that road. Go No Contact and STAY NO CONTACT.
Author FOBolous Posted January 21, 2016 Author Posted January 21, 2016 (edited) at what point can i contact her? the pinned "no contact" thread and the websites i've read about "no contact" doesn't say when it's safe to talk to her again. it just stresses over and over again to not contact her and ignore her if she contacts me. and her birthday is coming up. Is it ok for me to wish her happy birthday? Edited January 21, 2016 by FOBolous
mightycpa Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 You can contact her anytime you want to! The big question is, will it hurt you when you do it? Some people break down at the sight of the ex because they're so hurt. They struggle to stay away, and it is actually easier to stay away than to see the ex. Others moon over the ex, and either play it cool, trying to worm their way back in, or they beg and plead to get back together. They also struggle to stay away, but seeing them is worth the pain. Some people us NC as a manipulative way to make the ex miss them. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. It never works for long. Others just want to bang the ex, that's pretty much all they're interested in. They have no problem with seeing the ex, or not. Still others want to be friends, and also have no problems staying in touch. And there are some who want nothing to do with the ex. They have no problem staying away, and it is difficult for them to be anywhere near the ex, because they can't stand it. So which one are you? NC (in the context of this board) is really only for the ones who feel the emotional pain associated with the loss of the relationship.
Learningtowalkagain Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Sex doesn't make me more emotionally attached to a girl. I can separate the two. I would have banged her and sent her on her way. If you can't handle that, then it wasn't a good idea. Why do you want to contact her? She obviously still has feelings for you, if you want to reconcile, I say go for it. But don't come right out and say it, feel her out a bit and let her do the talking. Then go from there.
Methodical Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 I posted a thread yesterday about a person I know who is/was in a FWB relationship for approx. a year. For the past two months he has been busy, yeah, hooked up with another woman. Outer appearances are that he has moved on, but that may not be the case. Time or a confrontation will tell. In your case, you were dating and she dumped you, then made a drunk booty call request. That put the ball in your court. You declined. If you can have sex without expectations of a relationship afterward, sticking strictly to the logistics of a booty call, and you're game, then go for it. If you are looking for a relationship or hoping a booty call will rekindle the flame, then stay NC. Wanting to wish her a happy birthday is a nice gesture. It also implies you have feelings for her so I'm not sure you are ready for a booty call, only to be sent on your way the next morning.
Author FOBolous Posted January 21, 2016 Author Posted January 21, 2016 (edited) yea I'm going to wish her happy birthday and see what happens from there. -update- So I did and she responded with just "thanks!" lol sigh oh well. Back to NC I guess. Edited January 21, 2016 by FOBolous 1
Methodical Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 It's prob. a good idea to stay NC. She was drunk and horny when she made the booty call. You are still invested, she isn't.
Toodaloo Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Legitimate question. She dumped me, and I initiated no contact. 3 weeks later, she called me at midnight, drunk, for a booty call. I told her no (lol) cause i had something important to do early next morning (which i really did). The next day, she texted me just to stay hi, and i pretty much ignored that message. My question is, is it safe for me to contact her now? No - ignore her.
PegNosePete Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 at what point can i contact her? When you no longer want to contact her.
TheTraveler Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Should have went for the booty call if you wanted to have sex with her.
Author FOBolous Posted January 21, 2016 Author Posted January 21, 2016 So she ended up calling me again last night at 2am for another booty call. Accepted this time. And she pretty much told me she wants to be FWBs. A very interesting turn of events lol
Simon Phoenix Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 So she ended up calling me again last night at 2am for another booty call. Accepted this time. And she pretty much told me she wants to be FWBs. A very interesting turn of events lol Well, are you cool with that? Or do you want to date her romantically? If you want the latter, this really isn't a good idea. If you're just looking to get your rocks off until you find someone you like more, then I guess go for it.
Author FOBolous Posted January 22, 2016 Author Posted January 22, 2016 Yea seeing her again was a bad idea. I thought I would be able to see her and be ok. Sigh.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 Yea seeing her again was a bad idea. I thought I would be able to see her and be ok. Sigh. Ok, so block her from contacting you and start to recover. Do this until you couldn't care less if you talk to her again or if you don't. Stop talking to her and stop sleeping with her.
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