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How quickly do girls know if they're interested in a guy, and can it change?


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Posted

How quickly do girls know if they're interested in a guy, and can it change?

Posted

I think this may be virtually impossible to answer. It varies from girl to girl and depends on how quickly they get to know the guy they like.

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Posted
I think this may be virtually impossible to answer. It varies from girl to girl and depends on how quickly they get to know the guy they like.

 

 

 

I heard it is like 3 seconds or something like that. Was curious if that was true.

Posted

This topic has more replies than mine? Well, for me its not 3 seconds. what kind of shallow person has come up with that bullsh*t. Attracted: 1-2 weeks. Knowing if he's relationship material: 1 year.

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Posted

I like to think that despite all the differences, we all have the ability to like someone instantly or not, to fall in love instantly or not, to friend zone someone or not. It all depends on chemistry between two strangers who meet for the first time. I know a friend of mine had a male friend for years, but it wasn't until she went through relationship hell that she eventually got close to him and now she's happier than she's ever been, so from that, the love between them was definitely not instant, but it grew out of circumstance and time, lots of time.

Posted

With me, it varies.

 

Even with my current crush, some days I am interested. Some days, naaah.

 

Depends on his luck!

Posted
How quickly do girls know if they're interested in a guy, and can it change?

 

I'm not one of those females that develop feels over time for someone she had no initial sexual attraction to. So I know at first glance whether I'm interested enough to find out more or not. That doesn't mean I instantly want into his pants, nor does it mean that if I'm not attracted to you now, there's a chance I will be later.

 

With me, it varies.

Even with my current crush, some days I am interested. Some days, naaah.

Depends on his luck!

 

Glad I'm not the only one to have experienced that.

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Posted

In my case all I can assess in a few seconds is whether the guy is traditionally attractive. I tend to take into other criteria such as how they talk, carry themselves, etc. That can make a classically handsome guy to me repulsive and an average guy look pretty good. I tend to judge guys based on how they make me feel in their presence (enjoying time with him) and whether I can picture kissing them.

 

I have a male friend who is not at all classically handsome. He is 50s, balding, short, stalky, underemployed, not rich, etc. If he can get 1-2 hours with a woman he can usually get her number and even get her to ask him out even if she is 20 years younger and attractive.

 

I have a female friend. Her BF is very good looking but he is demeaning to her friends and says comments that rub me the wrong way. He is not attractive at all in my eyes and I don't get what she sees in him.

Posted
I heard it is like 3 seconds or something like that. Was curious if that was true.

 

The three second thing is where a man or woman susses whether they may potentially see themselves kissing or getting naked with a person.

Usually it is a 'no'.

Yes, that can change.

 

For actual attraction and potential dating there is a whole host more involved.

Posted

Based on looks: I know within 5/10 minutes if I feel physically attracted.

 

Personality-wise: It's not always apparent and I would say highly unrealistic to expect to know before a considerable AOT spent in a person's company whether or not we would be compatible.

 

It's worth noting, the personality and looks part can be interchangeable..if someone's personality is attractive to me, then they are attractive to me physically.

 

Hope this helps, along with other's comments...?

Posted
Based on looks: I know within 5/10 minutes if I feel physically attracted.

 

Personality-wise: It's not always apparent and I would say highly unrealistic to expect to know before a considerable AOT spent in a person's company whether or not we would be compatible.

 

It's worth noting, the personality and looks part can be interchangeable..if someone's personality is attractive to me, then they are attractive to me physically.

 

Hope this helps, along with other's comments...?

 

Although to misquote myself...kissing someone can also add/subtract to feelings, so there's that to consider too?

 

Sheesh, humans are complex little onions aren't they!

  • Like 1
Posted

15 minutes is a good rule of thumb.

 

In that amount of time a girl will see 1) your physical appearance, 2) your charisma, body language, humor, wit, and general presentation, 3) possibly how you treat other people and how other people treat you and 4) possibly a digest of what your lifestyle includes.

 

I'm sure there are exceptions, particularly in the over 30 set who are looking for stability first. But if you're male, 15 minutes is a practical figure to go by. If there's no base interest within 15 minutes then it's safe to assume for practical purposes that there will not be.

 

And actual dates might not follow from base interest. But establishing base interest is, for practical intents, the first step.

 

Dating is about finding people interested in you, not convincing people to be interested in you. The 15 minute rule informs optimal strategy - if you want to improve your dating success the effort should be directed internally (and thus into your 15 minutes) rather than externally (by lusting after someone from after or trying to convince them to be with you).

Posted
How quickly do girls know if they're interested in a guy, and can it change?

 

The first thing a woman will see as most people do is the appearance of a man, the way he talks etc. She might get attracted by something about his appearance or they way he laughs or talks etc or many things at the same time. Then she gets to know him better and if they get on well from the start she might want to date him.

Posted

...

Dating is about finding people interested in you, not convincing people to be interested in you.

...

Yes it is.

Posted

Once a girl has seen a guy AND watched him socialize or socialized with him, she will know if she is attracted to him or not. And it's rare being persistent will change anything, unlike what you see in the movies. She either likes your personality and looks and is attracted or she's not. She may like you okay as a friend and be friendly but that does not translate to attraction.

Posted

For me it's rare to immediately like a guy. I totally fell for a friend after 5 years of platonic friendship once.

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