jumpman23 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Obv that is a signal for lack of interest. Met a lady off okc and early she contacted me frequently after our second date with good morning texts all the time, asking about my work day and activities, past month we spent every weekend together. Even when I was out of town she inquired about my work week. However this week it appears things changed. Do I mention it to her for clarity or just move on? Last date this weekend she appeared a little annoyed and rude. Stark contrast. She has not initiated any conversations or texts.
hippychick3 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Are you initiating calls and texts with her? If not, she may be annoyed having to do all the initiating. 1
Author jumpman23 Posted January 20, 2016 Author Posted January 20, 2016 She was the one doing the initiating actually. But her tone changed all of a sudden instead of "we should try this restaurant or this place " she stated I heard this place was good "I'm going to have to try it out sometime". She also rolled her eyes at me during the date and As if she were annoyed, claims it was stress from work.
Mjm1014 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 No. No explanation needed..her actions speak for themselves. Best thing you can do is limit contact. If she reaches out to you, play some tough love, and keep it short and sweet. Ask her to hang out, not the best move right now either. My guess is she feels smothered, or thinks things are moving too quickly so just back off for a little and see if she steps up and reaches out to you more. Same deal happened to me about a year ago. I was "seeing" someone for close to four months, and as soon as things started to get more serious (wanted to introduce her to my family and friends/asked her to be my girlfriend) she started to get cold. When I started asking for explanations it pushed her further away until one day she said, "in the beginning it was fun, and I felt like I was falling for you like I've never fallen before, but things are too serious and I don't want a boyfriend anymore, and I think we should stop seeing eachother. I think you're too serious about me, I've been hurt in the past, and this is too much for me, and this isn't fair to you." If I would have just backed off a bit I'm 100% I could have saved the relationship.
jen1447 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Sorry but it sounds finished. (Making plans for herself is a sure sign.) If I were you I'd go out w/some dignity and make an effort to give it a decent burial by asking sth like "so I know this is bscly over, care to share what went wrong in your view?" That way you can at least get some autopsy info to work on fixing next time. 1
katiegrl Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 She was the one doing the initiating actually. But her tone changed all of a sudden instead of "we should try this restaurant or this place " she stated I heard this place was good "I'm going to have to try it out sometime". She also rolled her eyes at me during the date and As if she were annoyed, claims it was stress from work. Well she definitely sounds annoyed about something. So YOU never initiated any texts with her? How about dates? Did you initiate any of those? Or was it always her initiating texts and dates? 2
Author jumpman23 Posted January 20, 2016 Author Posted January 20, 2016 No I initiated dates tried to be creative. As a man I feel that is your responsibility.
Redhead14 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Obv that is a signal for lack of interest. Met a lady off okc and early she contacted me frequently after our second date with good morning texts all the time, asking about my work day and activities, past month we spent every weekend together. Even when I was out of town she inquired about my work week. However this week it appears things changed. Do I mention it to her for clarity or just move on? Last date this weekend she appeared a little annoyed and rude. Stark contrast. She has not initiated any conversations or texts. It sounds as though she did do a lot of initiating of texting. I'd say she psyched herself out by doing that. Women often will do that but when she's doing so much, she's not giving him an opportunity. So, in her head, she's wondering, "would he have contacted me first if I didn't reach out". She may try to wait it out a little and if he doesn't do it soon enough for her, she'll just do it because her nerves are getting to her Nevertheless, she gets annoyed with the guy because she just can't get a gauge on his interest level. And, even though he initiates a date at some point, she's still wondering. Last date this weekend she appeared a little annoyed and rude. -- I'd next her just for doing this. There's no excuse for accepting a date and behaving that way. If she'd had a really bad day or was so tired as to not be able to be pleasant, she should have offered an alternate day and time.
dobielover Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 It sounds as though she did do a lot of initiating of texting. I'd say she psyched herself out by doing that. Women often will do that but when she's doing so much, she's not giving him an opportunity. So, in her head, she's wondering, "would he have contacted me first if I didn't reach out". She may try to wait it out a little and if he doesn't do it soon enough for her, she'll just do it because her nerves are getting to her Nevertheless, she gets annoyed with the guy because she just can't get a gauge on his interest level. And, even though he initiates a date at some point, she's still wondering. Last date this weekend she appeared a little annoyed and rude. -- I'd next her just for doing this. There's no excuse for accepting a date and behaving that way. If she'd had a really bad day or was so tired as to not be able to be pleasant, she should have offered an alternate day and time. The specific example he gave... I bet you she mentioned the restaurant in the hopes that HE WOULD ASK her to go with him to that restaurant, and when he didn't, she said, "I'll have to check it out myself sometime" and rolled her eyes. Mark my words, this chick is just tired of being the one putting in all the effort to initiate. 5
katiegrl Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 The specific example he gave... I bet you she mentioned the restaurant in the hopes that HE WOULD ASK her to go with him to that restaurant, and when he didn't, she said, "I'll have to check it out myself sometime" and rolled her eyes. Mark my words, this chick is just tired of being the one putting in all the effort to initiate. Absolutely agree. She's waiting (hoping) HE will step up to the plate. Instead he takes offense and wants to break up with her. Nice. 1
Hopeful30 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Either she has lost interest or she's tired of always being the one to initiate, and has discontinued to see if you like her enough to initiate yourself. It's always one of the two.
notoriginal Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Absolutely agree. She's waiting (hoping) HE will step up to the plate. Instead he takes offense and wants to break up with her. Nice. Lol. I think this too
katiegrl Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Either she has lost interest or she's tired of always being the one to initiate, and has discontinued to see if you like her enough to initiate yourself. It's always one of the two. It could be both. She got tired of doing most of the initiating and lost interest as a result. Also, to the OP.... would you consider yourself a passive person? Or a take charge sort of person?
Author jumpman23 Posted January 20, 2016 Author Posted January 20, 2016 It could be both. She got tired of doing most of the initiating and lost interest as a result. Also, to the OP.... would you consider yourself a passive person? Or a take charge sort of person? Probably more of a passive/reactive type of person. We attended a food tasting event this weekend with drinks and wine in the city withmany singles and couples. However I was not as touchy feely as the other couples who attended the event. I don't think our couple status was cemented after the event giving my passivity.
katiegrl Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 She was the one doing the initiating actually. But her tone changed all of a sudden instead of "we should try this restaurant or this place " she stated I heard this place was good "I'm going to have to try it out sometime". She also rolled her eyes at me during the date and As if she were annoyed, claims it was stress from work. Just out of curiosity, when she said "I'm going to have to try it out myself sometime," what was your response?
Author jumpman23 Posted January 21, 2016 Author Posted January 21, 2016 Just out of curiosity, when she said "I'm going to have to try it out myself sometime," what was your response? So I had a talk today with her just to find out the status of things. I indicated we should be friends right now that's for the best. I stated I enjoyed our time together. She replied that she was in agreement as she had a hard time reading me and believed our chemistry was not there as she was tryingbto figure me out still. We acknowledged that we are both reserved and shy such that it made it difficulty for both parties to gauge the interest level.
smackie9 Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Looks like the magic isn't there....just move on.
dobielover Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 So I had a talk today with her just to find out the status of things. I indicated we should be friends right now that's for the best. I stated I enjoyed our time together. She replied that she was in agreement as she had a hard time reading me and believed our chemistry was not there as she was tryingbto figure me out still. We acknowledged that we are both reserved and shy such that it made it difficulty for both parties to gauge the interest level. Because you weren't initiating!!! She can't read you because she was the one putting in all the effort!!! Argh.
SwordofFlame Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 I think you made a good decision here. Try to get a girl that's more extroverted and outgoing if you're an introverted and shy guy.
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