sad123 Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 One of my ex-boyfriends and I are going to be seeing each other for the first time in 2 years. i am kind of scared/nervous but he has booked a beautiful suite for us...with a king size bed!!!! i dont know if he wants us to be in a relationship with me still..right now he says he doesn't want a girlfriend...but...is this normal? i don't want to jump to conclusions... oh yeah! we have never had sex because i am a virgin and want to wait untill after marriage.... WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?
Merin Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Wh t? You're going to see an EXBF that you haven't seen in 2 years, and you're hooking up with him in a hotel that he just happened to mention has a King size bed... He says he still doesn't want a GF BUT you still want to meet him? Why?
alphamale Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Originally posted by sad123 WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? he wants yer cherry SAD123...
Author sad123 Posted June 6, 2005 Author Posted June 6, 2005 Alphamale, LOL...ur funny!! Well, Merin..we have always kept in touch pretty frequently..and now he feels comfortable seeing me. But i don't think it's about sex....it doesn't seem that way...but you never know. i stil have feelings for him. but i don't know if things are mutual from his side....
Naive Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Originally posted by sad123 One of my ex-boyfriends and I are going to be seeing each other for the first time in 2 years. i am kind of scared/nervous but he has booked a beautiful suite for us...with a king size bed!!!! i dont know if he wants us to be in a relationship with me still..right now he says he doesn't want a girlfriend...but...is this normal? i don't want to jump to conclusions... oh yeah! we have never had sex because i am a virgin and want to wait untill after marriage.... WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? So what exactly are you two hooking up for? I would think that if you have not seen each other for about 2 years instead of booking a suite at a hotel he should be booking seats at a nice restaurant where you two can catch up on things. Don't you think?
Merin Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Originally posted by sad123 Alphamale, LOL...ur funny!! Well, Merin..we have always kept in touch pretty frequently..and now he feels comfortable seeing me. But i don't think it's about sex....it doesn't seem that way...but you never know. i stil have feelings for him. but i don't know if things are mutual from his side.... Well.. honestly I've got to say IMO he's already made you aware of what he doesn't want, and thats a relationship (Girlfriend) couple that with him getting a hotel room and letting you know it has a king size bed and call me crazy... but yeah in my mind this is about sex... I hope I'm wrong because you seem to really care about him...
Author sad123 Posted June 6, 2005 Author Posted June 6, 2005 Well Girls, he actually lives far away that's why he booked a hotel room. i also wanted to add that we are going to be going out to dinner. I don't know...i am kind of scared to go but at the same time I do care about him. In the past (when we were together) he always respected my wishes when it came to sex and stuff...so that's why i don't think he in for the sex. well, atleast i won't let it happen.
lindya Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 So he's coming to visit you, and he's booked himself into a hotel - with a king sized bed just in case he gets lucky with you? Sounds fair enough. I suspect that he's spent some time over the past 2 years contemplating your virginity and the various means by which he can persuade you to relinquish it. And it may well be that he has strong feelings for you the person as well as you the virgin. Only time will tell.
Author sad123 Posted June 7, 2005 Author Posted June 7, 2005 Actually, I am going to visit him because he invited me. He paid for almost everything....Like i said we have been friends for a long time after we broke up. And it's not like he can't get any from anywhere else..... But you are right, time will tell.
NTB Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale he wants yer cherry SAD123... i'm with alpha on this one
blind_otter Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 I can't understand why he booked a hotel room with a king sized bed, if all he wants to do is "catch up on old times".
alphamale Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by NTB i'm with alpha on this one
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter I can't understand why he booked a hotel room with a king sized bed, if all he wants to do is "catch up on old times". I can't imagine what on earth he would want to do with you in a king sized bed... there are just so many possibilities Oooh, I know, he wants to revisit your childhood game of pillowfighting. Or maybe he wants to play trampoline. Or just a variant called "sad bouncing" Sad123, you are sooooo naive. And I guess your ex is relying on this It's sweet, but don't go through with this thinking that the option of "trampoline" won't come up at some point.
Author sad123 Posted June 7, 2005 Author Posted June 7, 2005 ReluctantRomeo, So, you think I shouldn't go???
blind_otter Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by sad123 ReluctantRomeo, So, you think I shouldn't go??? This question isn't directed at me (obviously) - but how can you not think he is trying to get you into bed? Can't he take a train. drive to see you. something - and meet for lunch to reminisce, rather than at dinner and then to his hotel room?
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by sad123 ReluctantRomeo, So, you think I shouldn't go??? BO has represented me quite well (thanks BO). My suggestion? If you want to stay out of bed, tactfully suggest he unrent the kingsized bed and instead rent a room for one. Still meet him for dinner etc, but that way your intentions are clear. BO is right about lunch too - way better for staying out of bed than dinner.
Author sad123 Posted June 7, 2005 Author Posted June 7, 2005 BlindOtter, The reason why I cant see that he wants us to have sex is because the other day we were talking about it and i did pass a comment to him saying that I want us to do so, so and so...(heavy passionate/french kissing)...which was a way to see where his head was...and i said it very seriously. He actually got upset !! He was like "are you out of your mind?! Are you a slut or something..I can't believe you said that!" Then i started laughing really hard....and told him i was joking....so, maybe we are really just friends. My ex and i have spent the night at a hotel before and we didn't do anything then...sometimes he says things but i think he is just really joking....
lindya Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Perhaps it's in order to carry out a little subtle investigation; find out what his expectations of this visit are. He might be fully expecting a romp in the big bed - hence splashing out on the hotel and dinner. Then again it could just be that he's living in hope, but is prepared for the possibility that you won't be up for it and will respect that decision without hassling you. If I were you, I wouldn't go through with this visit without undertaking a bit more research and preparation about his motives for inviting you to visit.
Author sad123 Posted June 7, 2005 Author Posted June 7, 2005 By the way, THANKS FOR YOUR REPLIES! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!
lindya Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 He actually got upset !! He was like "are you out of your mind?! Are you a slut or something..I can't believe you said that!" Oh dear It sounds a bit of an unusual set-up the two of you have. Good luck!
blind_otter Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by sad123 BlindOtter, The reason why I cant see that he wants us to have sex is because the other day we were talking about it and i did pass a comment to him saying that I want us to do so, so and so...(heavy passionate/french kissing)...which was a way to see where his head was...and i said it very seriously. He actually got upset !! He was like "are you out of your mind?! Are you a slut or something..I can't believe you said that!" Then i started laughing really hard....and told him i was joking....so, maybe we are really just friends. My ex and i have spent the night at a hotel before and we didn't do anything then...sometimes he says things but i think he is just really joking.... I smell someone seeking validation for a decision that they've already made...He called you a "slut"?? jigga wha? Spending the night together as BF/GF is one thing. As ex's - an entirely different monster. You will do what you feel is appropriate. I wouldn't consider doing this with an ex unless I was prepared for "ex-sex" as I call it.
Author sad123 Posted June 7, 2005 Author Posted June 7, 2005 oh Man! Now you guys are scaring me..... i didn't think it would be like that...for real. I have known him for 2 years. my trip is schdule for this weekend......
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by sad123 oh Man! Now you guys are scaring me..... Don't be scared. Just politely signal "no sex". If that's what you want. The easiest and clearest signal is to suggest he books a hotel room for 1.
Author sad123 Posted June 7, 2005 Author Posted June 7, 2005 He did book a hotel room for one. The thing is when i was intially planning the trip I had asked him where to book a hotel room because he was going to pick me up from the airport. Then he suggested that he would book it. I asked him if he was going to spend the night..and he was like yeah...probably. He then proceeded to book a really nice suite. I have always made it clear that there was going to be no -and i mean no- sex whats so ever.....
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