Did drink lower his inhibitions?

[LuckyxGuapa]

Last August, I met a guy off tinder and we started dating. He was lovely & very charming. We would see each other at least 3 times a week and he could call and text me all the time.

In October, we went out on a date, where he told me that it had recently hit home how much he liked me, and never wanted to lose me.

 

Cut to 4 weeks later, and we had broken up. I had voiced some concerns I was having. He had become distant, I got the feeling he was lying to me over silly things and my messages were sometimes being ignored. He said he couldn't give me what I wanted, and needed to be by himself, and that we should just be friends because it wasn't going to work.

 

Now, I didn't know at the time about the whole "no contact", and we still carried on speaking most days.

 

But again, it was 50/50 whether he replied to my messages and i also got the excuse of how busy he was.

 

I was kinda in limbo, and as someone he had dated and slept with for a good few months, I felt I was owed an explanation. I confronted him face to face.

 

He told me that he wanted to be single, he didn't have any feelings for me, he didn't miss me enough to want to speak to me and that he couldn't see a future with me.

 

I was quite taken a back, because I thought he did have feelings, he had just decided now wasn't the right time for a relationship. I asked about "it hit home to me how much I like you and never want to lose you". He said it was the drink talking and he didn't mean it.

I felt like I had just taken a karate chop to the heart, but I held it together, thanked him for being honest and left.

 

I was pretty devastated but decided to no longer speak to him and move on.

 

Christmas Day he text me "Merry Christmas Beautiful xxx" and I just replied "you too".

 

We have had very little contact since then. The times I have cracked and texted him, sometimes he hasn't replied and its killed me. So I told myself that if I felt like texting him, to remember how crap it feels when he doesn't reply, and that usually stops me.

 

Last week, I was clearing some things out and found a few bits of his. I text him to see what he wanted me to do, I could drop them round or post them back to him.

 

He replied that he was in that evening, if I wanted to bring them over. I took them round.

 

Upon opening the door, he gave me the biggest hug with a big squeeze and kissed my cheek.

 

We sat on the sofa, where he immediately took hold of my hand, and held it like he used too whilst we chatted.

 

We were just chatting for a little bit, where he held his arm out and asked me for a cuddle. I lay with my head on his chest, where he held me and kept kissing the top of my head. He got up to go to the bathroom, cupped my face with his hands and kissed me on the lips.

 

I ended up staying quite a while. We had a drink and we're just talking and having a laugh together. I had been out a few times with my mates, and had checked myself in on fb. He started talking about it and asked who I had been with. Hint of jealousy?

It got quite late and he asked if I wanted to stay. I have no self control and so agreed. We carried on drinking.

He was being very affectionate, like how he used to be, and seemed happy to see me.

 

The next day, he woke with a terrible hangover. He had been out with his mates for a few hours, before I had got round, and unbeknownst to me, was already quite drunk when I got there.

 

The penny dropped, that maybe he was only being "so" affectionate because he was drunk.

 

He asked if I wanted to go furniture shopping with him, and so we went, and also stopped somewhere for lunch.

That afternoon, I left and went home.

 

I haven't heard from him since.

 

In your opinion, was he being affectionate because he had had a drink, and was pleased of some female company, or did the drink lower his inhibitions and they are his true feelings?

 

I have no idea what's going on anymore, but decided I needed to do NC for my own sanity. I am currently on day 5.

 

And yes, stupidly, we did end up having sex that evening.

[LuckyxGuapa]

Also, he didnt show me any affection the day after when he went shopping. We had a laugh, but there was no affection.

[Redhead14]

Last August, I met a guy off tinder and we started dating. He was lovely & very charming. We would see each other at least 3 times a week and he could call and text me all the time.

In October, we went out on a date, where he told me that it had recently hit home how much he liked me, and never wanted to lose me.

 

Cut to 4 weeks later, and we had broken up. I had voiced some concerns I was having. He had become distant, I got the feeling he was lying to me over silly things and my messages were sometimes being ignored. He said he couldn't give me what I wanted, and needed to be by himself, and that we should just be friends because it wasn't going to work.

 

Now, I didn't know at the time about the whole "no contact", and we still carried on speaking most days.

 

But again, it was 50/50 whether he replied to my messages and i also got the excuse of how busy he was.

 

I was kinda in limbo, and as someone he had dated and slept with for a good few months, I felt I was owed an explanation. I confronted him face to face.

 

He told me that he wanted to be single, he didn't have any feelings for me, he didn't miss me enough to want to speak to me and that he couldn't see a future with me.

 

I was quite taken a back, because I thought he did have feelings, he had just decided now wasn't the right time for a relationship. I asked about "it hit home to me how much I like you and never want to lose you". He said it was the drink talking and he didn't mean it.

I felt like I had just taken a karate chop to the heart, but I held it together, thanked him for being honest and left.

 

I was pretty devastated but decided to no longer speak to him and move on.

 

Christmas Day he text me "Merry Christmas Beautiful xxx" and I just replied "you too".

 

We have had very little contact since then. The times I have cracked and texted him, sometimes he hasn't replied and its killed me. So I told myself that if I felt like texting him, to remember how crap it feels when he doesn't reply, and that usually stops me.

 

Last week, I was clearing some things out and found a few bits of his. I text him to see what he wanted me to do, I could drop them round or post them back to him.

 

He replied that he was in that evening, if I wanted to bring them over. I took them round.

 

Upon opening the door, he gave me the biggest hug with a big squeeze and kissed my cheek.

 

We sat on the sofa, where he immediately took hold of my hand, and held it like he used too whilst we chatted.

 

We were just chatting for a little bit, where he held his arm out and asked me for a cuddle. I lay with my head on his chest, where he held me and kept kissing the top of my head. He got up to go to the bathroom, cupped my face with his hands and kissed me on the lips.

 

I ended up staying quite a while. We had a drink and we're just talking and having a laugh together. I had been out a few times with my mates, and had checked myself in on fb. He started talking about it and asked who I had been with. Hint of jealousy?

It got quite late and he asked if I wanted to stay. I have no self control and so agreed. We carried on drinking.

He was being very affectionate, like how he used to be, and seemed happy to see me.

 

The next day, he woke with a terrible hangover. He had been out with his mates for a few hours, before I had got round, and unbeknownst to me, was already quite drunk when I got there.

 

The penny dropped, that maybe he was only being "so" affectionate because he was drunk.

 

He asked if I wanted to go furniture shopping with him, and so we went, and also stopped somewhere for lunch.

That afternoon, I left and went home.

 

I haven't heard from him since.

 

In your opinion, was he being affectionate because he had had a drink, and was pleased of some female company, or did the drink lower his inhibitions and they are his true feelings?

 

I have no idea what's going on anymore, but decided I needed to do NC for my own sanity. I am currently on day 5.

 

And yes, stupidly, we did end up having sex that evening.

 

It doesn't matter . . . keep no contact.

[HereNorThere]

He was super drunk and wanted sex. I mean, how much more do you need to overthink it? He knows that you would like a relationship and chooses not to pursue it.

 

It's really not that hard to understand. I mean, c'mon- drunk guy+sex? Surely this is not the first time you have seen this movie?

 

If he liked you enough to be in a relationship with you, he would be. It's just that simple. Don't waste you time trying to understand why. Move on and find someone who appreciates you and quit wasting time with a jerk.

[xcupid]

If he says he wants to be alone believe him. There's nothing here for you to pursue. His affection probably stemmed from wanting to have sex with you, not because he's got feelings for you. Move on.