RedRider600 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 So there's a girl at work that showed me a lot of interest. At first I didn't care about her at all. She was nothing special, good looking but nothing about her stood out for me. One day she told me that she was cold and grabbed my hands to "show me" that she was in fact cold. She then pulled my right hand and placed it up against the tip of her nose so that I could feel how "cold it was". On another occasion, there was music playing in the background, and the movement she saw me, she got a big smile on her face and started busting dance moves to the song. She would also make comments to hint that she is single. Another day, as I was talking to another female co-worker, she saw me, locked eyes with me and appeared "jealous". She would also playfully tease me every time she saw me. When we talked, (although usually very brief because we were both busy) we'd lock eyes and I would see a sparkle in hers. I could feel the sexual attraction in the air. She would invade my personal space, rub up against me, and touch me. One day she even put her foot on top of mine. I started getting feelings for her and began to pursue her. I brought her some lunch (our lunches were scheduled at different times) and she couldn't hide her emotions as to just how pleased she was. I would make it a point to run in to her at work because I was looking to have one solid conversation with her (on all of the other occasion were to busy to chat for extended periods of time). The next day she was dressed really good and was wearing some really tight jeans. I was told that she's never fixed her self up like that before. I continued to pursue her because I wanted to get to know her better through conversation. She her interest appeared to begin dwindling, she started pulling away from me, no more touching, no more teasing, she was would longer give me her undivided attention. At one point she walked by me with some other guy and started laughing loud about whatever it was that they were talking about and heard her say something about "valentine's day". I don't feel threatened by that particular guy but was she deliberately trying to make me jealous and why? By the end of the day as I was leaving for lunch, I approached her and asked her if she wanted me to pick anything up for her. She said no because she was almost off but told me she would walk with me. We walked, talked, she kept the conversation going. We have the same hobbies, so there were some pictures on her phone of the stuff we both like doing. I asked her if she could show them to me and she handed me her phone and showed them to me. She kept the conversation going but kept her distance, even pulling away from me at one point...I'm usually as tough as they come, I'm a lone wolf. Very picky about who I let into my life. Whether it'd be friends or lovers I'm the one usually putting up a wall, higher than the one in China. But when I fall for a girl, I fall really hard. This girl is good looking but I like her beyond that. I like her personality, her sassiness, the fact that she's and ambitious so this hurts a lot. Can I salvage this situation somehow? what can I do?
Got him Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 I guess the way you were probably talking ( or flirting ?) with the other female , turned her off. Other than that , I don't see what you did wrong. She was all into you till then.
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Do not ever, ever, EVER date in the workplace. That way lies foolishness and a job loss. Either because of 'Professional Company Policy for Employees in the Workplace' - or because when you break up, one of you will indubitably decide that it's either bestto move on, or that there is no other option.... 2
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Do not ever, ever, EVER date in the workplace. That way lies foolishness and a job loss. Either because of 'Professional Company Policy for Employees in the Workplace' - or because when you break up, one of you will indubitably decide that it's either bestto move on, or that there is no other option.... Where I used to work, people dated their co-workers all the time. In fact, there's a couple that's been living together for 5 years that work at the same place and a married couple that met through their work place...but of course, that's typical of back water towns where options are limited to your co-workers. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Where I used to work, people dated their co-workers all the time. In fact, there's a couple that's been living together for 5 years that work at the same place and a married couple that met through their work place...but of course, that's typical of back water towns where options are limited to your co-workers. While I admit that there are occasionally success stories, I can't actually remember ever reading one on LS. IN fact, the original NC Guide was written by a guy who used to work in the same environment as his ex....
WaitingForBardot Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 While I admit that there are occasionally success stories, I can't actually remember ever reading one on LS. IN fact, the original NC Guide was written by a guy who used to work in the same environment as his ex.... There is only one condition under which intra-work relationships are acceptable: They work. Since most relationships actually don't work out in the long run, it's generally a very bad practice. But for your LS example, recent anyway as I'm new here, my wife and I worked at the same company and we've now been together over 30 years. We actually had to get permission from our Executive VP when we decided to get married, although we had been dating secretly for a year at that point. It was mainly to make sure we had separate, clean reporting lines to avoid any hint of nepotism going forward.
TaraMaiden2 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 There is only one condition under which intra-work relationships are acceptable: They work. Since most relationships actually don't work out in the long run, it's generally a very bad practice. But for your LS example, recent anyway as I'm new here, my wife and I worked at the same company and we've now been together over 30 years. We actually had to get permission from our Executive VP when we decided to get married, although we had been dating secretly for a year at that point. It was mainly to make sure we had separate, clean reporting lines to avoid any hint of nepotism going forward. I'm very pleased it worked out for you, but two things: One, with regard to dating policies in the workplace, you prove my point, and two, the dating environment when you and your wife were dating was a very different one. People didn't date then, they 'courted'. They were exclusive, and they spoke on the 'phone or sent each other love-notes... There were no texts, and messaging back and forth.... I know, because I met my first H in 1979, and we married in 1982, so I do get it....
jen1447 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Can I salvage this situation somehow? what can I do? If you really want to salvage it, go counter to your instincts and act like you don't give a damn. Your instincts always tell you to scurry around trying to 'save' whatever it is, but all that does is make you look like an insecure, immature, afraid little boy - everything she doesn't want to see in you. The thing is tho, taking it up a notch and whatever that entailed is what put her off, so unless you plan to be a robot w/her for the rest of your life and not the real you, there's probably not much real world hope for the future w/her. She got a glimpse of the real you and didn't like it for whatever reason. (Sorry.) She also sounds flighty so I'd be skeptical about whether she's really good for you anyway. So bottom line is I think it's a mistake but if you really want to go back, your only hope is to be less authentic and more generally aloof or whatever it was you seemed like originally. She liked what she thought she saw before the real you came out, so be that. (And don't be wishy-washy or sensitive. Unless she wants you to be that way. See where this is going? )
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