renny Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 (edited) Hi everyone, here's my story. I have(had) been with my ex for 6 years. Our relationship has been a rollercoaster, but there has been no doubt that we love each other. In november, she asked me to join her, and her family at a resort after I returned from a trip out of town. I did and we ended up getting into a heated argument shortly after I arrived. I left the next day, both of us upset. I text her later that night (we live in separate households by the way) and she responded back that she had had enough, and was done. I chose to keep my distance, letting my ego take over, and we exchanged angry text over the next few weeks, only meeting after I told her i wanted to give her some of her stuff back. Shortly after the christmas holidays, I finally called her and told her i wanted to meet up and talk. We did and she informed me that she hadn't changed her mind and she was done. I asked her point blank if she was seeing someone. She admitted that she had met another guy, and that they had been out on a series of dates, but swore she hadn't slept with him yet because she was taking it slow. I too admitted that i had met someone, but was holding out on furthering the relationship because i still had feeling for her, and thought we could possibly work it out. She was upset at hearing about my admission, but continued to insist that she was done and that it was time to say goodbye, and close the book on our relationship. So here is where things get interesting., After about a two weeks of no contact i decided that i was going to make a last bold move, and try one final time to see if she was truely done, or if it was her emotional pain talking. I was on the way to a work conference, and decided to stop by her house, tired of the texting back and forth, deciding to try a more direct approach. Yes it wasn't the right move and very risky, because i had no idea what i was going to walk into once i got there. She was very surprised to see me, but she invited me in, and we talked. Initally, she continued to insist that she was done, and happy with the direction that her life was taking. Me being a risk taker, i responded by asking her if she would reconsider and perhaps meet me for a drink or coffee the following week, (this was last friday) she first refused, then to my surprise, changed her mind and said yes, she would meet up with me. we met up a few nights ago and had a great time. We had a few drinks and talked about 6 hours until the place was about to close. We talked about another hour until we both agreed it was late and time to wrap it up. I walked her back to her car, and we ended the night with a very passionate kiss and she admitted that she missed me. We talked the next day and decided that this coming weekend we would go on a "date" spend the day (and possibly night)with each other. I guess this is our way of seeing if there is truely anything left to salvage . Now here's the thing, This guy that she's been on dates with is still trying to get with her, and she admitted that she's torn because even though she starting to have feeling for me again, she's hesitant to cut off contact with the other guy until after we go on our date weekend and see how she feels afterwards. I'm in a similar situation because i've been dating someone as well. So i guess i'm questioning if this is really worth all the back and forth, will she fully come around, or am i just setting myself up for failure? I do still love her, and have every intention of cutting things off with the other person if this works. Am I making a mistake here? Thanks Edited January 20, 2016 by renny
Been Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 6 years and your not living together?? I found it funny that SHE got upset after you told her you were seeing someone as well. I don't know for sure but it sounds like both of you are up and down. If it were me I would go on the date but at some point during the date you have to basically have a serious discussion on where this relationship is going or where you want it to go.
Rocci di Persia Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 My advice might seem controversial but I firmly believe you should live your life without any regrets. You should also at the time minimise hurting innocent people along the way with your actions. Accordingly, if you would regret it or always wonder whether you tried your best to salvage this relationship, then you should give it your best shot. Even if it doesn't work out, you'd never wonder at least, and I believe that sort of regret can really erode your soul over time. Regardless you should cut things off with the person you are currently seeing. No one deserves to be an option. 1
BikerAccnt Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 6 years and your not living together?? . I thought that too but, depends on the age. If older, already have two homes, and two distinct sets of stuff, and have been divorced before. I can see it. I'm 55 and have done all the above, and am in no real big hurry to live with someone again. But, after 6 years, you really should know where you stand. If you don't, it's probably time to cut the line. You don't want to be an option, and I'm sure the person you just started dating doesn't want to be one either.
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