tasev1 Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 So, I find especially during pickups my brain reacts too slowly and I fail. I usually have to develop an opener idea before I execute, and especially when things go sideways I can never come up with good responses or actions to the situation. Example: Was shopping around a grocery store with my mom this evening, and was about to approach a girl in purple pants without a plan when my mom interrupts my vibe to ask me to find something. Coincidentally, in my mindless wandering, I passed this girl a few times. So I waited by the exit. As she comes out, I say "hey, are you following me around? Every time I hide I see your purple pants..." She giggled, said something (didn't catch what), but kept walking.....and I let her go not being able to think of what to do. In afterthought, I would have stopped her in her tracks, saying something like "hey, wait a minute....if you're going to tease me like this at least have the decency to say hello....". It's not that I can't find good ideas, I just can't seem to think on the fly. Too bad, because she was a great looking girl. What kind of methods and exercises have you used to combat this phenomenon?
Gaeta Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 I say "hey, are you following me around? Every time I hide I see your purple pants..." .if you're going to tease me like this at least have the decency to say hello....". About you use your environment to break the ice. If she is looking at the cheese just make a comment on the cheese or ask her what cheese she thinks would be best in your spinach lasagna and go from there. And while talking about cheese, quit the cheesy pick up lines ok :-)
Author tasev1 Posted January 20, 2016 Author Posted January 20, 2016 That would have been my plan, but she never stuck in an aisle....she was constantly on the move not sure where to find stuff. Had I known the store better, I would have offered her help. But that is pretty much where I was interrupted by my mum. Are you saying my lines sucked?
five2nine Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Are you saying my lines sucked? Yes I think they do :/ It's pretty obvious what you're trying to do but it's as if you don't have the courage to straight out say it. You're making the girl do the work instead. Some people are turned off by that but it might work in high school... Also I wouldn't recommend following people while they are shopping or offering to help, unless she were a stranger in a foreign land. It's really not a good place to pick up girls (intrusive/creepy)
Gaeta Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Are you saying my lines sucked? Yes very bad. It lacks class and imagination. Very teen-ish
Got him Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Your lines did suck big time ! Immature and tasteless
GravityMan Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 95% of pickup lines are childish, try-hard or both...in any case, lame. Most decent folks don't use canned pickup lines when communicating with someone they're interested in. I see things like "opener" and "execute" and "interrupts my vibe" in your post. Ugh, grow up. You're putting artificial roadblocks in front of yourself which is making matters more awkward. Stop thinking so hard about this stuff, relax and talk to women like a normal person. You'll likely come across much more favorably in their eyes, generally speaking. If something funny or complimentary or whatever comes up naturally in the flow of conversation, then roll with it. The "feel" of communication matters a lot. I hope you're still in your teens. I also think it's in poor taste to hit on girls/women while you're with your mom. That girl - especially if she has any prior dating/relationship experience - probably rolled her eyes when you weren't looking. And maybe ridiculed you a bit when she got together with her friend(s) next time...if she hadn't erased you from her memory by then, that is. 1
hasaquestion Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Just talk to people like human beings. Contrary to what Loveshack posters will tell you, there's definitely value to be gleaned from the subject of pickup. Good body language, strong eye contact, making your intentions known, being bold, maintaining boundaries. It has more to tell you about the fundamentals of attraction than some may be comfortable with admitting. But if you spend much time reading the pickup stuff you're going to miss the forest for the trees... because that's what pickup is about. Its about giving people recipes to try and get a girl in bed, not giving people big picture advice. Its about memorizing not teaching. And the more complicated it is the more product there is to sell. Say you actually want to date a girl. What now? Are you going to memorize more conversations or "techniques"? Play more power games? Learning is about being able to do something yourself. At best pickup is a crutch. Frankly, at the end of the day if a girl thinks you're cute you can say just about anything and it'll be a great pickup line. The best pickup lines aren't spoken. If she doesn't, no line in the world is going to save you. There are some very fundamental incongruities with pickup anyway. For example, one of the cardinal rules that a pickup artist would preach is not to put girls on a pedestal. But when you meet a guy at a sports bar, do you say a pickup line? By telling girls rehearsed lines of any kind you are fundamentally putting them on a pedestal. You are telling them that you need to talk to them differently because they are different and worthy of being "gamed". True conversationalists can apply their skills universally. 2
Author tasev1 Posted January 20, 2016 Author Posted January 20, 2016 Interesting..... I came up with that myself, thinking it would be a funny and creative way to make her laugh and start talking. FYI..... Took my mom shopping because she's 75 and disabled. And I'm most definitely not a teenager!
Buddhist Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 (edited) Both of those approaches are terrible to be honest. She's probably giggling because she's embarrassed for you. I'm not saying that to be mean, but I've been in her shoes before and it's an uncomfortable place to be. Was she staring at you, making constant eye contact while you were in the store at all? Did it appear to you that she was steering her selection of aisles to constantly be in your path? If not, then I wouldn't go with this kind of approach. You need some solid interest from her first especially in a place like a supermarket. What the above poster said is very true. If a woman is interested in you it won't matter what you say at all. That first conversation is usually all about staring intently into each others eyes, grinning from ear to ear and talking utter useless small stuff just to delay breaking contact with each other. Ask anyone in a relationship and they will tell you that first conversation never has any useful content, it's not about that. It's just about being in the presence of someone attractive and creating an open door for future contact. PUA is good for one thing and one thing only. It's exposure therapy for the fear of rejection. You'll go out there approach a bunch of women, get rejected a whole lot and eventually lose your fear of rejection. Beyond that, very little value. By teaching you to focus on your game/techniques etc it's just distracting you from the larger demon, fear of rejection. It's not the lines that work, it's the fact that you overcome the major fear preventing you from approaching women you find attractive. Once you've surmounted that major block then everything else just falls into place. Edited January 21, 2016 by Buddhist 1
basil67 Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 Good and bad lines aside, the fact that kept walking shows that she has zero interest in being picked up. You could be funny and witty, but that doesn't guarantee that she's remotely interested in being picked up - let alone while doing groceries. Have you considered that she may have a partner or was in a rush? 1
Author tasev1 Posted January 21, 2016 Author Posted January 21, 2016 Both of those approaches are terrible to be honest. She's probably giggling because she's embarrassed for you. I'm not saying that to be mean, but I've been in her shoes before and it's an uncomfortable place to be. Was she staring at you, making constant eye contact while you were in the store at all? Did it appear to you that she was steering her selection of aisles to constantly be in your path? If not, then I wouldn't go with this kind of approach. You need some solid interest from her first especially in a place like a supermarket. What the above poster said is very true. If a woman is interested in you it won't matter what you say at all. That first conversation is usually all about staring intently into each others eyes, grinning from ear to ear and talking utter useless small stuff just to delay breaking contact with each other. Ask anyone in a relationship and they will tell you that first conversation never has any useful content, it's not about that. It's just about being in the presence of someone attractive and creating an open door for future contact. PUA is good for one thing and one thing only. It's exposure therapy for the fear of rejection. You'll go out there approach a bunch of women, get rejected a whole lot and eventually lose your fear of rejection. Beyond that, very little value. By teaching you to focus on your game/techniques etc it's just distracting you from the larger demon, fear of rejection. It's not the lines that work, it's the fact that you overcome the major fear preventing you from approaching women you find attractive. Once you've surmounted that major block then everything else just falls into place. Perhaps my vision is skewed, but I don't find I'm afraid of rejection - as that is all I know. I am more afraid of success, because I won't know how to handle it. When I approach, I do so expecting to get rejected and am never surprised when I am. Maybe that's my problem? I would rather come up with something stupid like this, than not approach at all.
Robratory Posted January 21, 2016 Posted January 21, 2016 That would have been my plan, but she never stuck in an aisle....she was constantly on the move not sure where to find stuff. Had I known the store better, I would have offered her help. But that is pretty much where I was interrupted by my mum. Are you saying my lines sucked? Eh, not necessarily, but you ran out of courage or weren't that interested or who knows? I recently had this experience. I went to an interview at Robert Half, which is a temp agency. While I was there, I noticed a woman who was also interviewing. I overheard her conversation, but we made no contact nor did she seem to notice me. As it happened, we must have finished our interviews at about the same time because, as I was walking down the street, I saw her standing there, fiddling with her earphones. On impulse, I approached her and said something like, "Hey, we were interviewing at Robert Half at the same time. I hope you get the job! I couldn't help but overhear -- you're moving here to San Francisco?" There was that flicker in her eyes that indicated her brain was going, "OMG, it's a man! Do I scream, kick him in the balls, or smile and talk to him?" She went with option C and smiled and said, "Yes, I'm moving here from Indiana." And I said, "OMG, that's so funny! I almost moved to Indiana myself last month but the deal fell through." By then she had untangled her earphone wires, and I was going to ask her out, but I didn't. I wasn't nervous or tongue-tied, but I just didn't. Instead I said, "Well, good luck and nice talking to you!" I'm in my fifties, by the way, and so was she.
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