King Bowls Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 When it comes to trying to make friends and develop relationships, just like there is a friend zone, there is a business zone Here's my story/problem Back in May, I met this man at my granddads gun store. He said next time I was in sugar land (my favorite city) we could meet up for lunch. This was the same guy I envied so much, because he lives in sugar land and has a hot Asian wife So, for many months I hoped his brother and he would come back to the store. Never happened. So long story short, I sent a prank to his phone with my cousins number. He didn't answer so he called back and left a message. This all happened yesterday. So long story short, I called him back on my cousins phone yesterday and talked to him for the first time since May 19th, 2015 I thought it was really cool! But here's the problem, I want to become friends with this guy. I want to get to know him and I want to be able to have a friend in sugar land Thing is though, he was centering the conversation around drum lessons (I said I was interested to keep the conversation going). He is now coming across as a salesman. I told him how nervous I was about school and that today was going to be my first day back and his response was basically they'll let you know your schedule and you can then text/call me and tell me what it is (that summarizes what he said) So when I got home today, I texted him saying I'll be very busy this semester and MIGHT be able go Thursday evening or I might only be able to do Sunday because I have to work Friday's and Saturdays He said in his reply it's all good and find out about Thursday night. And ended it with a "thank you" I want to be MORE than just a student or a customer!!! And I do NOT KNOW how to get that across in a reasonable way! And I DONT want every conversation to be about when the next time I'll go to a drum lesson with him will be. And no I have not gone to any drum lessons of his yet, but as stated, I want this friendship/relationship whatever you want to call it to be more than just business I have been trying to get a hold of him for many months now and don't want it to come down to this, what do I do?
carhill Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Unless one is a conman, friendships evolve over time. Male friendships usually evolve surrounding shared interests as equals. When I met the person who is now my best friend, I had turned his company down for credit. That kinda pissed him off. We worked through that (it was a mistake by one of the credit references) and, later on, found out we both enjoyed camping and fishing so I started camping at the beach with he and one of his partners. For me, it was a sleeping bag in a tent. They all had RV's. Still, over time, and doing work for them, and finding common ground, we got to know each other better. This took years, probably four or five and just happened. It wasn't purposeful. That first meeting over denying credit happened, heh, nearly 25 years ago. Most of my other friends, those who are now part of the long-time circle, started out that way. I got a 'did you die?' e-mail this morning from the wife of another friend, they live back east, because, well, I haven't been in contact much since visiting them last summer due to moving states. She knew that but still that's her style. Her H and she and I met at a car show in LA, now heck 18 years ago. Previously, he and I had posted on an early internet car forum so we knew each other online. Common interest? Vintage cars. Hope that makes sense. Things happen. Friendships evolve. Some do start as business. For myself, having been in business for a long time, it's not uncommon. It depends. Good luck! 1
angel.eyes Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 To summarize: you want to be his friend because he lives in Sugar Land, TX and has a hot Asian wife. He should want to be friends with you, a college student who prank calls him from his cousin's phone, because...?
Emilia Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Second carhill. All my friendships with men developed over time through shared mutual interests and activities.
Author King Bowls Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 Unless one is a conman, friendships evolve over time. Male friendships usually evolve surrounding shared interests as equals. When I met the person who is now my best friend, I had turned his company down for credit. That kinda pissed him off. We worked through that (it was a mistake by one of the credit references) and, later on, found out we both enjoyed camping and fishing so I started camping at the beach with he and one of his partners. For me, it was a sleeping bag in a tent. They all had RV's. Still, over time, and doing work for them, and finding common ground, we got to know each other better. This took years, probably four or five and just happened. It wasn't purposeful. That first meeting over denying credit happened, heh, nearly 25 years ago. Most of my other friends, those who are now part of the long-time circle, started out that way. I got a 'did you die?' e-mail this morning from the wife of another friend, they live back east, because, well, I haven't been in contact much since visiting them last summer due to moving states. She knew that but still that's her style. Her H and she and I met at a car show in LA, now heck 18 years ago. Previously, he and I had posted on an early internet car forum so we knew each other online. Common interest? Vintage cars. Hope that makes sense. Things happen. Friendships evolve. Some do start as business. For myself, having been in business for a long time, it's not uncommon. It depends. Good luck! Ok this is starting to reach critical mass here We talked last Monday, and he said I could come I for lessons and we talked about how it'll workout because of some music background family members of mine have and we caught up I then texted him Tuesday telling him my schedule will be busy and that I might have been able to come in Thursday of that week. He replies back saying it's all good and check on Thursday On Wednesday, I text him and say Wednesday's are good because I don't have class Wednesday's. NO reply I then call him Thursday, doesn't answer at first but calls me back 30 minutes later or so. Said Wednesday would be fine, and asked what time, I said preferably later afternoon/evening time. He suggested maybe earlier since I didn't have class, I said either or is ok. He then said he would text me the next day (which would be Friday) and let me know on a good time. Now let's go to the next day, Friday. He never texted me that day, but I texted him saying on second thought, I would prefer the later afternoon time because my brother and his girl friend want to go, but if you can't do that, that's ok, we'll do whichever is better to you. NO reply So I didn't text him again, but I called him at 12pm today. He did NOT answer, but I left a message saying I don't mean to bug you, I just want to make sure 4:30 pm or so Wednesday is ok because my brother and his fiancé want to participate and go out to eat afterwards. Here we are at 9:42 pm central time, still hasn't called me back or texted me. NOW I'm afraid he won't get back to me at all by Wednesday What the hell is going on? The reason I think this is bizarre is because when he talked to me on the phone, he was a bit salesman-like trying to get me to go drum lessons-because no matter what I talked about, he made it a point to keep the conversation around lessons an all that. As a business minded Individual myself, I would be communicating with interested potential customers left and right It's going to really suck if Wednesday rolls around and still haven't heard back. But I am NOT texting/calling him again until I hear back from him Amazing because I was obsessed with this guy but I'm starting to get a little frustrated. But that can change if he rights the ship and starts communicating
Author King Bowls Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 I may also add, when he called me back Thursday, I did tell him that I was not going to be able to go that night (Thursday night). And like I said I told him Wednesday would be best because I don't have class on Wednesdays
Author King Bowls Posted January 25, 2016 Author Posted January 25, 2016 C'mon surely someone knows. Somebody, anybody!
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