Qam Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 she does love you. What she doesn't want is the way in which she feels you are wanting her out of the control and that you feel you need her as opposed to your loving her and respecting her.. Can anyone tell me what this means? This is how my ex feels about me but I don't understand it
Nilfiry Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 I think that is a jumbled mess of emotions and thoughts, I would be amazed if anyone can make such sense out of that without more context into the actual happenings. You can try to approach it by breaking it down into segments, though. "she does love you." Simple enough. "What she doesn't want is the way in which she feels" But here is why she does not want to be with you... "you are wanting her out of the control" You only want her because you can control her... or whatever that means. I think only you know sort of "control" this is referencing. "you feel you need her as opposed to your loving her and respecting her.." you feel you need her instead of loving and respecting her. So to combine everything back together, it sounds like she left you because she felt that you were only with her because she was someone you could easily control, and not because you actually loved her or respected her. That is just my take on it trying to break things down out of context. This is really something that only you can figure out because only you know what went down.
anonymousbear00101100 Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 What she's saying is that she thinks you are loving her because you need someone to love, not because of her specifically. This is a classic breakup cliche and I wouldn't fall for it. She doesn't love you anymore, and you should walk away and not put any merit into her words. Continuing to think about what she means will only hurt you further. Ignore everything she says and block her on everything. She is just trying to remove her guilt and put it on.
Quiet Storm Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 It sounds like she feels you were too controlling and she didn't feel respected by you. It also seems that she thinks you're needy, which is often interpreted as weakness, and is a turnoff for most women. Most women want to be with a happy, content, stable, self sufficient, resilient and confident guy. We don't want to feel responsible for our man's happiness. We want a strong guy that wants us, loves us and treasures us... but can still be fine without us. We want to be loved for our individual qualities- not just for the role we have in our man's life. We want our feelings & boundaries to be respected. I don't know the details of your relationship, so it's hard for me to say what prompted her feelings. But typically a woman may say these things if she is with an insecure guy who places demands on her or makes unreasonable requests in order to relieve his anxiety. People will attempt to control others in order to relieve their own insecurity or anxiety. Instead of coping with their anxiety in healthy ways, they want others to change in order to reassure them & soothe their worries. To give an example, imagine a guy who is worried that his GF might cheat on him or leave him. Instead of realizing that this anxiety is HIS problem to deal with, he tells her he doesn't want her going out with her friends, he checks up on her, tries to micromanage her life, puts guilt trips on her for "neglecting" him, etc. This behavior will make a woman feel like her BF's anxiety is ruling her life, and it will get old very quickly. 1
Gloria25 Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 It sounds like she feels you were too controlling and she didn't feel respected by you. It also seems that she thinks you're needy, which is often interpreted as weakness, and is a turnoff for most women. Most women want to be with a happy, content, stable, self sufficient, resilient and confident guy. We don't want to feel responsible for our man's happiness. We want a strong guy that wants us, loves us and treasures us... but can still be fine without us. We want to be loved for our individual qualities- not just for the role we have in our man's life. We want our feelings & boundaries to be respected. I don't know the details of your relationship, so it's hard for me to say what prompted her feelings. But typically a woman may say these things if she is with an insecure guy who places demands on her or makes unreasonable requests in order to relieve his anxiety. People will attempt to control others in order to relieve their own insecurity or anxiety. Instead of coping with their anxiety in healthy ways, they want others to change in order to reassure them & soothe their worries. To give an example, imagine a guy who is worried that his GF might cheat on him or leave him. Instead of realizing that this anxiety is HIS problem to deal with, he tells her he doesn't want her going out with her friends, he checks up on her, tries to micromanage her life, puts guilt trips on her for "neglecting" him, etc. This behavior will make a woman feel like her BF's anxiety is ruling her life, and it will get old very quickly. Perfect!!!
preraph Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 I think she's telling you that if you truly loved her, knew what love is, you wouldn't try to control her because that's not love, that's control. She thinks you're too needy too. You're depending on her to make you feel better without regard to what makes her feel good.
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