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Is it ok to message a girl on Facebook??

Bo34

By Bo34
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Bo34 Established Member

Bo34

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So last week I saw a girl who I really liked and who I've seen before but not since a very long while. We have several mutual friends on Facebook (Around 15) but none whom I'm close to or keep in contact with. I was meaning to go up to her to introduce myself but was waiting for the right opportunity. I knew one of her friends that she was with and my plan was saying hello to the mutual friend first and then get an introduction to her.

 

Long story, short: By the time I finally was going to go up to her, they left. I was beyond upset at myself. It's been 4 days now, and a friend of my suggested I friend request her on Facebook. I don't know what to do, because I don't request any strangers I don't know, so I'm obviously very hesitant on doing so.

 

Do you guys think I should:

A) Friend Request her?

B) Message her instead saying I saw her last weekend and know one of her friends that she was with and see where the conversation goes

C) Do not contact her on Facebook since she might think I'm a weirdo

soph-walker Established Member

soph-walker

Posted
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If you message her, be light hearted...don't be giving her a life story.

 

Be a bit cheeky and say her profile came up as a mutual friend and the rest can be history.

 

Be prepared for her to think it slightly creepy though..

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Bo34 Established Member

Bo34

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If you message her, be light hearted...don't be giving her a life story.

 

Be a bit cheeky and say her profile came up as a mutual friend and the rest can be history.

 

Be prepared for her to think it slightly creepy though..

 

 

 

Yeah, I know...

My only hurdle is that I know for sure she will think it is going to be slightly creepy because I would think so too if someone did that to me. But at this point, it's kind of like take a chance or run the higher probability of never seeing her again.

truth_seeker Established Member

truth_seeker

Posted
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If its last resort, do it. Send friend request only. If she accepts, then send a follow up message about seeing her the other day and how she popped up on your FB. Mention how you know mutual people. Keep it friendly and see how she responds.

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Bo34 Established Member

Bo34

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If its last resort, do it. Send friend request only. If she accepts, then send a follow up message about seeing her the other day and how she popped up on your FB. Mention how you know mutual people. Keep it friendly and see how she responds.

 

You don't think it would be better if I were to message her instead since if I just friend request her, she may just decline?

truth_seeker Established Member

truth_seeker

Posted
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You don't think it would be better if I were to message her instead since if I just friend request her, she may just decline?

 

if you're not friends, when you send a message they may not get it. It goes to another folder.

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ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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if you're not friends, when you send a message they may not get it. It goes to another folder.

 

This exactly.

 

My filter is set so that if I am not FB friends with someone, their messages are diverted to my "Other" box and I don't get a notification. So she might not even realize you've messaged her unless and until she decides to clean out the Other folder.

 

Send her a friend request first. Then, if she accepts, follow-up with a message.

hasaquestion Established Member

hasaquestion

Posted
Posted
So last week I saw a girl who I really liked and who I've seen before but not since a very long while. We have several mutual friends on Facebook (Around 15) but none whom I'm close to or keep in contact with. I was meaning to go up to her to introduce myself but was waiting for the right opportunity. I knew one of her friends that she was with and my plan was saying hello to the mutual friend first and then get an introduction to her.

 

Long story, short: By the time I finally was going to go up to her, they left. I was beyond upset at myself. It's been 4 days now, and a friend of my suggested I friend request her on Facebook. I don't know what to do, because I don't request any strangers I don't know, so I'm obviously very hesitant on doing so.

 

Do you guys think I should:

A) Friend Request her?

B) Message her instead saying I saw her last weekend and know one of her friends that she was with and see where the conversation goes

C) Do not contact her on Facebook since she might think I'm a weirdo

 

The answer is C.

 

Pick yourself up by the balls and talk to her in person. If she's 150 miles away then find another girl who you can talk to in person. She's not a unicorn.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

C) Do it right by being introduced properly by one of these mutual friends.

Mjm1014 Established Member

Mjm1014

Posted
Posted

I don't see it being a problem if you message her.. You could always say, I'm mutual friends with "___" and your profile came up as a suggestion as someone I know and I think you're really cute. My name is "___" or you could just message her what's up. I've done this in the past and usually don't get any responses back but at times I get lucky. Most people don't use Facebook as a dating site so don't be discouraged if you don't hear back.

 

What I personally would do....you said she knows someone you know..I would talk to that person first and see if they can put a good word in for you. Even if you don't know the person too well just say, "hey I think you're friend is really cute/hot/beautifil whatever, and see if they can help hook you up-that would prob work much better.

 

Good luck.

ScienceGal Established Member

ScienceGal

Posted
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I went through this recently. I messaged, he didn't receive it (it appeared as delivered, but not read). I friend requested, he accepted and I had to send another message. He was glad I did, as he had not even seen the first one.

 

Send the friend request and then message her if she accepts.

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Bo34 Established Member

Bo34

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I went through this recently. I messaged, he didn't receive it (it appeared as delivered, but not read). I friend requested, he accepted and I had to send another message. He was glad I did, as he had not even seen the first one.

 

Send the friend request and then message her if she accepts.

 

Is it okay if I do, considering I don't know her even tho we have mutual friends? I guess I'm a bit more open to those opinions of female members on this thread. (I highly doubt I will run into her again)

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
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Is it okay if I do, considering I don't know her even tho we have mutual friends? I guess I'm a bit more open to those opinions of female members on this thread. (I highly doubt I will run into her again)

 

OP, I am a woman too and my advice above still stands.

 

Don't bother messaging her without sending a request first, because there is a good chance she won't even see your message.

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ScienceGal Established Member

ScienceGal

Posted
Posted
Is it okay if I do, considering I don't know her even tho we have mutual friends? I guess I'm a bit more open to those opinions of female members on this thread. (I highly doubt I will run into her again)

 

I wouldn't mind receiving a friend request and message from a man who's interested. Go for it!

 

Good luck.

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MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

Posted
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I'll keep it short, because I've told the story before.

 

I friend requested a guy. We've been married almost three years now.

 

Go for it.

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loveflower Established Member

loveflower

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Posted

I have never really requested anybody....

 

I want to request a guy...I thought I could write him something when request...now I know I can't really say anything when requesting...

loveflower Established Member

loveflower

Posted
Posted
I'll keep it short, because I've told the story before.

 

I friend requested a guy. We've been married almost three years now.

 

Go for it.

 

have to dig up your post about the story...but it is going to take a tremendous amount of effort ...

truth_seeker Established Member

truth_seeker

Posted
Posted

Nice to hear happy stories ScienceGal and MidwestUSA.

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