edelveis Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Hey everyone.i will be brief. 2 years ago i met a girl at the country abroad where i was studying and we came really close.we were friends and we were spending so much time together.after a while she told me that she was in love with me and had feelings for me and if i didnt see it the same way then we should stop seeing each other because she couldnt move on elsewhere and wanted to get over me.i was confused about what i was feeling and it was very hard for me but i agreed and told her that whenever she is ready again to contact me. So i graduated moved on and many things happened to my life since then which helped me see things more clear and understand how much i need this person in my life.as a partner or as a friend.i only know i need her in my life in anyway because i love her as a person.She was loving me in a magic way that i can not understand how blind i was to let her go. So i m thinking to go back and talk to her.I know because i see it in fb that she is moved on,having new friends,going out and generally she looks happy.What is your oppinion?should i go or not? 1
Popsicle Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Do you desire her so much that you want to have lots of hot sex with her? Because that's necessary. If you don't feel that (which I don't think you do) then leave it be. You probably just need another friend/BFF. 2
Author edelveis Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 Popsicle i just need her in my life.at the moment we dont talk at all and it kills me i hate it.i dont need other friends,i already have eneough.i just want her in my life.one year passed and i think she must be over me.do you have any guesses what her reaction might be?i am not very optimistic about it to be honest.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Just to clarify, are you now in different countries? If so, what are you hoping will come of this? I would maybe attempt to say hello to her and see if she is receptive. She might well have moved on by now but be open to catching up on a friendly basis. It's difficult to say what her reaction might be. She might be happy to hear from you; she might be confused about what you want after all this time; she might have a boyfriend now and not be willing to re-open a connection with you. All you can do is try. Keep it light and casual at first until you figure out what her status is and how she feels about hearing from you. 4
kendahke Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Popsicle i just need her in my life.at the moment we dont talk at all and it kills me i hate it.i dont need other friends,i already have eneough.i just want her in my life.one year passed and i think she must be over me.do you have any guesses what her reaction might be?i am not very optimistic about it to be honest. It's nice that you've cleared some things in your head about her, but you need to respect that she may not want to be your friend or in your life like that; or that she's seeing someone else and hasn't put that information out on social media. I think you should call her and see where she is, but you should prepare yourself for her to not want to wade back into that. Certainly do not just show up and surprise her. 1
Author edelveis Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 ExpatinItaly and kendakhe we are in different countries now but in one week i ll move back where she currently lives for 6 months.i think the timing is ideal to attempt it.Of course i am ready for everything,i know that she might not want to have a friendly relationship or not want me in her life.i will respect it.but i am gonna try it anyway because i think its worthy. My concern is how should i approach her.i was thinking to text her when i get there and ask her to meet.or is it better to send her somethig before i go?thank you all for your time and interest.
Nilfiry Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 By all means, try it. If it works out, great. If not, at least then you have the closure you need to move on too.
Author edelveis Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 yes thats exactly my point.i will try it, i am just thinking how my approach should be..
burnt Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 we are in different countries now but in one week i ll move back where she currently lives for 6 months. So you will be in that country for only 6 months? Meaning at best you can continue a relationship with her for 6 months?--Am I misunderstanding you…? Based on what she told you two years ago, it sounded like she wanted a genuine relationship with you, not just a friendship. If you are able to offer that to her, then you should attempt to contact her. Otherwise, leave her be. If you are really serious about it, perhaps write her a note openly saying how you feel and see if she's willing to meet you in person, and then take it from there.
Popsicle Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Popsicle i just need her in my life.at the moment we dont talk at all and it kills me i hate it.i dont need other friends,i already have eneough.i just want her in my life.one year passed and i think she must be over me.do you have any guesses what her reaction might be?i am not very optimistic about it to be honest. YOu didn't answer my original question. 1
katiegrl Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Hey everyone.i will be brief. 2 years ago i met a girl at the country abroad where i was studying and we came really close.we were friends and we were spending so much time together.after a while she told me that she was in love with me and had feelings for me and if i didnt see it the same way then we should stop seeing each other because she couldnt move on elsewhere and wanted to get over me. So i graduated moved on and many things happened to my life since then which helped me see things more clear and understand how much i need this person in my life.as a partner or as a friend.i only know i need her in my life in anyway because i love her as a person.She was loving me in a magic way that i can not understand how blind i was to let her go. So i m thinking to go back and talk to her.I know because i see it in fb that she is moved on,having new friends,going out and generally she looks happy.What is your oppinion?should i go or not? I think it's fabulous that you have gotten to know yourself, done some introspection and realized you DO have feelings for her and want to try again. But remember, she is not in your life anymore....and it's very easy to have all these feelings for someone and miss them when they are no longer in your life. Think carefully about this.... because the last thing you want to happen is that you get back together with her (assuming she wants to)....and once she's back in your life again....and you're going through the day to day.....the old feelings pop up and once again, you're suddenly not feeling it anymore....or feel suffocated, boxed in, or whatever it was you were feeling the first time you ended it. This is a pretty common occurrence believe it or not...and couples can go back and forth like this for YEARS sometimes. I am not suggesting that this WILL happen....but it's something to consider IMO. Good luck though...I hope it does all work out for y'all!
Author edelveis Posted January 20, 2016 Author Posted January 20, 2016 Popsicle i want to be friends.at least to be able to talk once a while.a lot of time passed and maybe she is totally moved on and she can be in a friendly relationship with me.maybe she can have me in her life now.. Katie girl thank you for your answer i ll have it in mind burnt i want her in my life as a friend or if she cant be friends then to talk once a while so i can know how she is,if she is well,how is uni going,her thughts,fears and etc.i care about her and i m not gonna just let her be.
Popsicle Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Popsicle i want to be friends.at least to be able to talk once a while.a lot of time passed and maybe she is totally moved on and she can be in a friendly relationship with me.maybe she can have me in her life now.. Katie girl thank you for your answer i ll have it in mind burnt i want her in my life as a friend or if she cant be friends then to talk once a while so i can know how she is,if she is well,how is uni going,her thughts,fears and etc.i care about her and i m not gonna just let her be. Okay well as long as you tell her from the onset that you are only interested in platonic non-romantic friendship and would like to have that with her, I Think it's fine to see how she feels. Since some time has passed, maybe she'll want to try it too. I probably would too for a while at least until it stops working.
Author edelveis Posted January 20, 2016 Author Posted January 20, 2016 Popsicle yes now you got my point.no matter the result she deserves the try.she is unique for me.could you please tell me your suggestion about how my approach should be?should i message her before i go or once i get there?also should i keep it light in my message and just ask to meet or give her a clue?i know she will freeze when she hears from me.i am the last person she expects to hear from at the moment.
Popsicle Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 Popsicle yes now you got my point.no matter the result she deserves the try.she is unique for me.could you please tell me your suggestion about how my approach should be?should i message her before i go or once i get there?also should i keep it light in my message and just ask to meet or give her a clue?i know she will freeze when she hears from me.i am the last person she expects to hear from at the moment. I think you should wait until you get there, you can tell her you're there but keep it light at first. Just make it like you're saying hi and catching up at first.
Author edelveis Posted January 21, 2016 Author Posted January 21, 2016 thats what i m going to do.thank you all.i ll post an update when i ll have something new.
Author edelveis Posted April 11, 2016 Author Posted April 11, 2016 hello everyone.i would like to post an update.i ve been here for 3 weeks till now and i still have not talked to her because she has a boyfriend.what do you think i should do?i am thinking that i do not want to upset her life again but on the other hand i keep wanting her back in my life.we have said hi a few times till now.
Buddhist Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 hello everyone.i would like to post an update.i ve been here for 3 weeks till now and i still have not talked to her because she has a boyfriend.what do you think i should do?i am thinking that i do not want to upset her life again but on the other hand i keep wanting her back in my life.we have said hi a few times till now. I think you need to realise that you are being completely selfish in your desire. Your every post is about what you want, what you feel you need, and yet you're not wanting to or able to offer her what she wanted. She's happy with someone who has offered her that and I think she deserves the peace of mind of not having you come crashing into her life again and throwing everything into turmoil. So you went away and realised you made a mistake. Great, now don't follow it up with another one by trying to assert yourself back into her life. Sometimes in life we have to realise that what we personally want isn't the best thing and accept that. 5
loverboy69 Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 edelveis: I'm sure you are a great guy. But I'll tell you as a friend that your "needs," are coming across a bit desperate and clingy and not attractive for any male. If I could sense this without ever seeing you in person then think how much more your long lost friend will see it face to face? She has a boyfriend. I think you need to respect her space and his space. You're a good guy. Just don't fall into the trap of confusing nostalgia as a prelude of what is to come. She's moved on. You should too. Good luck.
Jabron1 Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 Do you desire her so much that you want to have lots of hot sex with her? Because that's necessary. If you don't feel that (which I don't think you do) then leave it be. You probably just need another friend/BFF. YOu didn't answer my original question. Popsicle i want to be friends.at least to be able to talk once a while.a lot of time passed and maybe she is totally moved on and she can be in a friendly relationship with me.maybe she can have me in her life now.. Yeah, I think you should just leave her be. I don't think you want her. You just want the special attention she gave you, and have no other options. 3
Phoenician Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 “The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.” leave the poor lady . 4
elaine567 Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 I don't think you want her. You just want the special attention she gave you, and have no other options. ^^^^this^^^^ Foreign country? "Oh I know, I can hang put with that girl who was besotted with me a year ago." It is a selfish thought. You are only going to be there for 6 months too. Leave her alone. 2
joseb Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 hello everyone.i would like to post an update.i ve been here for 3 weeks till now and i still have not talked to her because she has a boyfriend.what do you think i should do?i am thinking that i do not want to upset her life again but on the other hand i keep wanting her back in my life.we have said hi a few times till now. I think you are just being selfish. You "need" her - but are not prepared to offer her what she clearly told you she wanted. Yet you want her in your life. I think that's pretty cruel. She has a boyfriend. Do you want to possibly mess things up for her by reigniting an old flame? Find some other friends that are not in love with you. 2
kendahke Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 (edited) hello everyone.i would like to post an update.i ve been here for 3 weeks till now and i still have not talked to her because she has a boyfriend.what do you think i should do?i am thinking that i do not want to upset her life again but on the other hand i keep wanting her back in my life.we have said hi a few times till now. Leave her alone. Your ship has sailed. In 5 1/2 months, you're going to be going back. She's found someone who is there 24/7/365. When you had her, you didn't want her. She took the hint and found someone who wants her. If you love her as much as you say you do, you would not do anything to cause her any further emotional turmoil than you already have. Quit being selfish. Edited April 12, 2016 by kendahke 1
Author edelveis Posted April 12, 2016 Author Posted April 12, 2016 jesus ****ing christ..i asked just for an advice not a personal judgement about myself lilke you all did..before you JUDGE someone be ****ing sure that you are better..i came here to share my thoughts with you,not to discuss decisions because i didnt have some at at that point.i respect your oppinion but not the judgement because i try not to judge people as much as i can. and nobody of you think of the possibility that she is TOTALLY over me and she could be friends with me now?! i m close to accepting that i will not bother her because i really care about her. ps as for "my clingy desperate needs that dont sound good to a male" that somebody told,well i suggest you guy to change ur perspective about manly behaviour.
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