twinsgf Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 (edited) This post is probably going to be long, but ill try to keep it short. I want to gather peoples opinion on the matter. My BF's twin is getting back together with his girlfriend who cheated on him. She is 19, and he is 21. This girl, we can call her Amy. She is my definition of a brat, who is manipulative and crazy. I feel like out of my boyfriend and our friends, im the only one who won't budge on how she behaves and lies (I don't let it go). Some examples of this includes her being a pathological liar. Ranging from what people say, do, and what she herself has accomplished. It causes drama (and nobody likes a liar). Another example is where the one time she met my mother, she immediately twisted her words on a comment she made and caused drama with the 'Twins' mother (my BF's). For NO reason. This is only a tiny example of drama, headache, and issues she has caused me and sometimes my boyfriend (who is more passive and is hard to anger). I went through the cycle of trying to be friends with Amy, but then ultimately being sick of her drama, I told my BF I didn't want to have a relationship with her (for my own sanity). However, in the end I was made to be the 'bad guy' for not being friends with my BF's twins, girlfriend, and ultimately tried making an 'friendly' relationship with her. Here's where it turns BAD... I worked at a restaurant at the time, and being friendly I offered her a job as our host. Things were great for everyone involved.... But then she cheated on her BF with my BAR MANAGER, who was 32. My BF's twin actually went to the mans house and saw them naked in bed together. She ended up quitting and I eventually ended up getting fired, because of the drama that happened afterword at the restaurant. Even though I had nothing to do with it, the fact that I knew about it made me lose my job (and go through stressful schedule changes, and bad treatment by coworkers). My question is: my boyfriend says I should just "get over it" and not be so angry about his brothers decision, because either way, it is what it is. She scurry's through their house and hasn't said a peep to me, but finally managed to talk to my BF saying she will talk to all of his friends before me (about her getting back together with him), knowing I despise her. Part of me is angry he would get back together with someone like that (after also saying hes just using her for pussy and NEVER would), and part of me is mad that I will eventually have to deal with the headache, drama, and lies she brings. Am I wrong for being so mad? For not supporting it?For voicing my distaste? It has been 4 months since she cheated (they got back together a week ago). If either of them try to officially break the relationship news to me ,I was just going to respond with "Its whatever". How would any of you react/feel?? Usually you can axe someone out of your life easily, but when forced to be around her? I don't know....thoughts? Edited January 19, 2016 by twinsgf
angel.eyes Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 It sounds as if you lost your job because you chose to involve yourself in her drama. Who your BF's brother chooses to date is really none of your business. Take a cue from your BF and let the brother make his own choices. He's an adult of sound mind. Stop meddling in his affairs and focus on your own life.
Quiet Storm Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 She doesn't sound like a good person, but you are allowing your BFs twins choices to impact you way too much, IMO. I think it's OK to give him your opinion about her once, but beyond that, it's not your business. He knows she cheated, and if he chooses to get back with her, that's his decision. Just stay out of it. You keep mentioning her drama, but you are fueling the situation with your own drama. This is probably why you lost the job. You act like you are getting dragged into the chaos, but you are willingly involving yourself. Your boundaries should remain intact regardless of what other people do. You need to learn how to emotionally detach, which will help you have peace, regardless of other's actions. All throughout our lives, we will be put in situations with people we don't like or those with questionable characters. It might be someone at work, someone in your family, neighbors, friends, etc. You can't always control who is around you, but you can control how you react to them. It is too emotionally draining to give other people's drama this much headspace.
whichwayisup Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Either you get over it or you completely stay away from your boyfriends twin and his gf. This is their business and if he has forgiven her, giving her another chance, so should you. Doesn't mean you have to like her or spend tons of time with her, just means that you have to let your resentment and anger go. I'm sure your bf is stressing over this, do you realize by not accepting his brother's choice it puts him in the middle and adds pressure on him because he knows you hate his bro's gf? Reverse the situation..How would you hope others would feel and react if it was your sis or bro giving their partner a second chance? People DO deserve another chance after messing up, especially if they are remorseful.
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