Cutie_face Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 My boyfriend and i had been going out for seven months, and he suddenly started being really cold with me. Whenever we were together or i rang him, he was fine and we were as normal, but when we were on msn talking or anything like that, he would be really short with me, and never really have anything to say. I felt like i was making all the effort and he just couldn't be bothered with being in our relationship, so i asked him if he wanted a break/ some space. He thought it would be for the best, and so we went on a break for a couple of weeks. I was absolutely miserable the whole way through the break because i felt like we needed to spend time together to resolve the problem, but he was making little effort to talk to me. Eventually, he told me that he wanted to be just good friends for now, because he didn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore. We met up today so that he could give me birthday presents (it was my birthday on friday and he'd already bought me them), and he was being extremely boyfriend like, putting his arm around my waist, holding me quite close to me, which left me very confused. When he went to hold my hand, i let go and i asked him what he was doing, and he said that he didnt know how to act around me any more. I told him that he should just do whatever feels right, and we just carried on walking and talking regardless. When it came time for me to go, he said that he hoped that we could be good friends. I am completely baffled as to what the hell i should expect. I still love him and care about him very much, but this whole situation has left me very hurt by him, what do you guys think?
predator8u Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 i know how ya feel.....im sort of in the same situtation.... except a girl is doing it to meee... I don't get people like that... I still have not been able to solve my own situation.... but I think u should confront him about it... maybe he'll have an explanation well good luck to ya
curiousnycgirl Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Sounds to me like he doesn't know what he wants. He KNOWS he wants you in his life, in a meaningful way, but he seems afraid to make a committment. If it were me I would say that I was sorry, but I really would not feel comfortable with a shift in the relationship at this point - that it is a bit hurtful, perhaps in time you can be his friend. Then I would stop calling. I'm willing to bet he comes back in full force after this - if not, then frankly you are better off. I am generally not one to play games, but frankly I don't think what I suggest above is a game. If this were me, I would be too hurt to just be friends right away. I would need to take time off. Best of luck to you!!!
bambi_4 Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 There is nothing wrong in playing games. It can make people realise the mistakes they have made. If ye are still in contact, an alternitive to nc rule is be very short and brief with them when they contact. Cause then they have to search to find answers to whats wrong. It will make them curious and come towards you, generally with an apology. Try it, it works. 100%.
blue16 Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 You don't need to play games, in fact I believe playing games is just an imitation of how a nice, confident, respectful, high self-esteem person would act in a given situation. Saying to your 'bf/bestfriend/whatever he is now' that this psuedo-relationship isn't doing it for you, then breaking contact with him is NOT a game. It's called having standards and doing what feels best, and not just simply accomodating to whatever he is willing to give you. It IS a game, however, if you say to yourself "Ok I'll just break it off with him so he'll miss me and then come back." Whatever you decide, I know it'll be the right choice. Good luck. PS - And oh ya, I think you should break off contact with him and let him decide whether he wants to be in a relationship or not. Either he comes running back and everything is all good, or he sort of fades off. You shouldn't have to put up with this pseudo-relationship bs just because that's what he's offering...
crazy_grl Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by blue16 You don't need to play games, in fact I believe playing games is just an imitation of how a nice, confident, respectful, high self-esteem person would act in a given situation. Saying to your 'bf/bestfriend/whatever he is now' that this psuedo-relationship isn't doing it for you, then breaking contact with him is NOT a game. It's called having standards and doing what feels best, and not just simply accomodating to whatever he is willing to give you. It IS a game, however, if you say to yourself "Ok I'll just break it off with him so he'll miss me and then come back." Whatever you decide, I know it'll be the right choice. Good luck. PS - And oh ya, I think you should break off contact with him and let him decide whether he wants to be in a relationship or not. Either he comes running back and everything is all good, or he sort of fades off. You shouldn't have to put up with this pseudo-relationship bs just because that's what he's offering... Ditto to all that. And also, I believe that if you have to play games to keep an SO or get them to realize their mistakes, they're not worth being with anyway.
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