AverageJoe1986 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 *bump* Ok, so the guy in question messaged me on social media after viewing my profile (I saw he viewed it) and told me I look crazy gorgeous in one of my profile pics and that 'he wasn't sure why or how but I do' and also said my profile read really well and he hoped it would serve me well. What the?! Has he half insulted me by saying this, and why would he bother messaging me at all after saying he didn't fancy me! I want to message him and saying something witty and 'fu' back to him and critique his profile for being misrepresenting! Guys, any thoughts? Ok, let me get this straight. There's this one guy you're really attracted to but he doesn't feel the same way. You think it's odd that he doesn't feel the same way after two dates but you felt it after 5 minutes with him? Why does he need to give things so much longer to make a decision than you? There are hundreds and hundreds of guys online who I'm sure would happily go out with you, and by your own standards of it needing to take more than two dates to see if there's something there, you've got plenty of time to explore possibilities with them. Stop wasting your time on someone who is not interested.
Author soph-walker Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 Ok, let me get this straight. There's this one guy you're really attracted to but he doesn't feel the same way. You think it's odd that he doesn't feel the same way after two dates but you felt it after 5 minutes with him? Why does he need to give things so much longer to make a decision than you? There are hundreds and hundreds of guys online who I'm sure would happily go out with you, and by your own standards of it needing to take more than two dates to see if there's something there, you've got plenty of time to explore possibilities with them. Stop wasting your time on someone who is not interested. I'm not exactly sure how I'm 'wasting time', I've not pursued him any further! This is an old thread.. I don't know why he has bothered to even message me something that sounds mildly insulting is the angle I'm coming from. And I do think that he, like many other people using OLD, are often too hasty in their expectations of people on meeting in real life, judging from your previous posts/threads, I (unfortunately) have a lot more dating experience than you as well as a different experience altogether as I am female. I think this guy got under my skin a short while is all.
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 I'm not exactly sure how I'm 'wasting time', I've not pursued him any further! This is an old thread.. I don't know why he has bothered to even message me something that sounds mildly insulting is the angle I'm coming from. And I do think that he, like many other people using OLD, are often too hasty in their expectations of people on meeting in real life, judging from your previous posts/threads, I (unfortunately) have a lot more dating experience than you as well as a different experience altogether as I am female. I think this guy got under my skin a short while is all. Sorry I hadn't noticed how old the thread was. Though I still think that even thinking about him is no longer worth your time. I think that, unless you give every man who messages you a chance to 'win you over' for lack of a better phrase, you are probably just as guilty as he is of writing off a potential relationship without giving it a chance. Just because it took him two dates rather than a message accompaned by unattractive photos doesn't make it any different.
loveflower Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 *bump* Ok, so the guy in question messaged me on social media after viewing my profile (I saw he viewed it) and told me I look crazy gorgeous in one of my profile pics and that 'he wasn't sure why or how but I do' and also said my profile read really well and he hoped it would serve me well. What the?! Has he half insulted me by saying this, and why would he bother messaging me at all after saying he didn't fancy me! I want to message him and saying something witty and 'fu' back to him and critique his profile for being misrepresenting! Guys, any thoughts? What does he mean though? I am so confused. I don't get it. 1
Author soph-walker Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 Sorry I hadn't noticed how old the thread was. Though I still think that even thinking about him is no longer worth your time. I think that, unless you give every man who messages you a chance to 'win you over' for lack of a better phrase, you are probably just as guilty as he is of writing off a potential relationship without giving it a chance. Just because it took him two dates rather than a message accompaned by unattractive photos doesn't make it any different. The funny thing with that is, I have actually gone on dates with all guys who've messaged me. There are ones who live 200+ miles away that messaged that I politely declined and let them know it was a distance thing. It's not the same thing though, IMO, to dismiss someone so easily after having not even got to know them. I remember life preOLD and it was a much slower affair, I love the process of getting to know someone and would welcome meeting someone who feels the same (and romantically of course). 1
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 The funny thing with that is, I have actually gone on dates with all guys who've messaged me. There are ones who live 200+ miles away that messaged that I politely declined and let them know it was a distance thing. It's not the same thing though, IMO, to dismiss someone so easily after having not even got to know them. I remember life preOLD and it was a much slower affair, I love the process of getting to know someone and would welcome meeting someone who feels the same (and romantically of course). You've gone on dates with every guy (excluding geographical barriers) who has messaged you? Really? I find that hard to believe.
Author soph-walker Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 You've gone on dates with every guy (excluding geographical barriers) who has messaged you? Really? I find that hard to believe. What can I say, I live in a small town! I've gone out with every guy that's asked to see me, yes. It's a small pool and not one I'm wanting to make smaller.
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 What can I say, I live in a small town! I've gone out with every guy that's asked to see me, yes. It's a small pool and not one I'm wanting to make smaller. But have you responded to every guy who has messaged you online? As in, every man who has sent you a message you have replied to?
Author soph-walker Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 (edited) But have you responded to every guy who has messaged you online? As in, every man who has sent you a message you have replied to? Yep, even the creeps. I figure if I treat it as though someone were to stop me in the street and speak to me, how would I respond to them/conduct myself. I don't see online as any different. And digressing slightly...I still am at a loss as to why this arrogant prat would message me again, any takers? Edit: the profile I'm taking about is my dating profile online... Edited February 2, 2016 by soph-walker 1
Toodaloo Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 (edited) Sorry Soph Just seen this. Don't bother messaging him back it would only serve to bolster his ego. When it comes to [these guys] the one who is yet to respond holds the "power". If this guy were really interested he would ask you out. It is that simple. Stop responding to the plebs on line. They will wear you down and make you jadded in no time. Next instruction is to go out and get a nail varnish or lipstick in bright red or some daring colour you have never worn before and wear it! As to why did he message you... To see if he gets a response! He wants his ego stroked. It is that simple. Edited February 2, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
zanwalk Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 I agree with the above Soph, just ignore him, he'll soon move on. He's just trying to get a reaction from you, don't reply and he'll switch his energies to another prey. There are better guys out there.
Author soph-walker Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 Sorry Soph Just seen this. Don't bother messaging him back it would only serve to bolster his ego. When it comes to [these guys] the one who is yet to respond holds the "power". If this guy were really interested he would ask you out. It is that simple. Stop responding to the plebs on line. They will wear you down and make you jadded in no time. Next instruction is to go out and get a nail varnish or lipstick in bright red or some daring colour you have never worn before and wear it! As to why did he message you... To see if he gets a response! He wants his ego stroked. It is that simple. I am really not sure what purpose it would serve him to message me, but I would like to message him back a harsh response and tell him what I think of him (w*nker) Would you not think this was a good idea?
Robratory Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 And digressing slightly...I still am at a loss as to why this arrogant prat would message me again, any takers? Eh, I dunno... but don't worry about it. It's like wondering why that street person came up to me and screamed, "You don't get it, man, they're coming! They're coming!" He's an arrogant prat. That's what arrogant prats do.
Robratory Posted February 2, 2016 Posted February 2, 2016 (edited) Ok, so the guy in question messaged me on social media after viewing my profile (I saw he viewed it) and told me I look crazy gorgeous in one of my profile pics and that 'he wasn't sure why or how but I do' and also said my profile read really well and he hoped it would serve me well. What the?! Has he half insulted me by saying this, and why would he bother messaging me at all after saying he didn't fancy me! I don't necessarily see it as an insult but rather as an acknowledgment on his part that he is not eloquent enough to express why or how you look crazy gorgeous. You could just write him back, "Thanks, and yes, my profile has worked ok for me. How about you?" But I admit I have not read the whole thread, so ICBW. Edited February 2, 2016 by Robratory
Author soph-walker Posted February 2, 2016 Author Posted February 2, 2016 I don't necessarily see it as an insult but rather as an acknowledgment on his part that he is not eloquent enough to express why or how you look crazy gorgeous. You could just write him back, "Thanks, and yes, my profile has worked ok for me. How about you?" But I admit I have not read the whole thread, so ICBW. I think he's someone who likes to f**k with people's heads? I just feel annoyed that he's had the audacity to even message.
Toodaloo Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 Soph. Once upon a time I met a lovely chap I will call him James MI (because I have met a few "James' since then). Lovely guy. Had a fantastic time with him. Fancied him rotten despite his bald, funny shaped head and very silly car... Yeah I thought he could possibly be something. He didn't want to see me again. "Fair enough" says I and moved on. Feeling glum and fed up. Then he sent a text. "Oh" thought I "perhaps he did fancy me and perhaps there was something there". So I sent one back. Nothing, naddda, zilch back... He just wanted to know someone thought about him and was probably feeling lonely. He just wanted his ego stroked. Thats all. Just ignore it. Let it waft over your head and quit stressing or worrying about it. Don't be angry. Clearly you made an impression and he clearly thinks that you will make some very lucky person very happy even if its not him. Take it as a compliment, smile and forget about it. 1
BeholdtheMan Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 I am of sound mind, well educated and a rational human being Actions speak louder than internet words
Toodaloo Posted February 3, 2016 Posted February 3, 2016 Actions speak louder than internet words Agreed so perhaps the guy should have given Soph a chance... rather than cast her away - more so as he is still looking at her profile and thinking about her but ho hum... 1
Author soph-walker Posted February 3, 2016 Author Posted February 3, 2016 I was foolish and got into a bit of testy dialogue with him, I told him to basically leave me alone and I didn't appreciate his game playing, he said he just wanted to let me know I look good and pay me a compliment and that he hoped I wasn't getting too much unwanted attention. I wish I'd not met this slippery fish because now I want to see him again. At least I did the right thing and told him to buzz off. Gah, this is so silly! He's a grown man, why would he do this
Author soph-walker Posted February 3, 2016 Author Posted February 3, 2016 Did I do the right thing? I would really appreciate any thoughts/comments..anybody
Author soph-walker Posted February 3, 2016 Author Posted February 3, 2016 Actions speak louder than internet words I'm not sure what this means..?
Author soph-walker Posted February 4, 2016 Author Posted February 4, 2016 Ok, sorry to be such a pain in the behind, but this is wigging me out. Despite me telling him to leave me be, he's paid me compliments again saying the flip side to his statement is that he didn't give me enough credit for how beautiful I am and that I'm blissfully articulate. I really don't understand what his thoughts are, could it be that he's realised how hasty he was or does he just seem like an as*hat to anyone? I'm not sure what to do, please..someone, anyone
Toodaloo Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 Soph. Tell him he has one more chance and thats it... Then see what happens.
elaine567 Posted February 4, 2016 Posted February 4, 2016 "No spark" is a pretty generic brush off and I guess gives no real clue as to the real reason. God knows why he blew you off, he may have had a better offer that week, he may just got sick of dating, perhaps he had other things on his mind, perhaps he had expectations of meeting [insert 'hot" woman of choice], perhaps he hadn't quite got over an ex, perhaps..., perhaps..., perhaps... He is obviously either just reviewing old contacts in the hope someone will bite, or he genuinely feels he made a mistake and he can't get you out of his mind either. Like Toodaloo, I think you should give him one more chance.
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