CurrentRomance Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 Hi there So an ex-boyfriend of mine (lovely chap now married) set me up on a date with one of his work colleagues (he's only known him six months). We went on a date and got on really well. Then we spent four days together, it was lovely we had a great time, amazing in bed but he is extremely dominant and there was a couple of things he did that caused me concern (one being I had to bend over and wait to be spanked - when I asked him why? he said he liked to see me vulnerable and gave him time to think about what to do to me...errr). Since our first few dates (before christmas) he's been away in South Africa - he's sent me messages everyday - sometime they get naughty but there is another alarm bell - he wanted detail of my sex life with my ex boyfriends (I refused/thought it weird). He claims he "just want to know what I like". But I think its a funny way of finding out this information. He is moving really fast and taken his next posting with the RAF (he's an officer) near to me so we can see more of each other..even suggested moving in together - to which I said - let's see how we feel in six months. Which he totally respected. I know dominance in the bedroom is a bit of fun but should I be more concern this is moving too fast and could be an abusive relationship. He's already told me he loves. me... After so many married men hitting on me and totally losers, I think I've found a nice guy, from a good upbringing, intelligent, good responsible job and with a character reference from a man I trust...I just think this may be too good to be true. thanks!
LoveRefreshed Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 Love at a few days, or even in just a couple of weeks is alarming. My fastest I said it was about 3 months, but we were seeing each other every day. The dominance in the bedroom stuff- Well we all have our kinks and I think he sounds pretty normal for a dude. The thing is, sex should always be consensual, so just don't be afraid to assert your boundaries and if he doesn't want to respect them, I'd be done. You can't trust someone like that. 4
Toodaloo Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 I think he just likes it a bit kinky. Keep your boundaries, keep getting to know him OUTSIDE the bedroom and see how you go. 2
Ami1uwant Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 I guess right now it's about 22 shades of grey.....with the kink??? Get to know him more.
Miss Peach Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 People unfold. Sometimes people live up to what he hope it will be when the relationships starts. Other times they don't. I would just keep getting to know each other. It's too soon to know anything at this point IMO. The kink side wouldn't necessarily bother me as long as he was capable of other things too. But there are people it would bother. That part is up to you. 1
Hailiee7 Posted January 22, 2016 Posted January 22, 2016 I read your letter/blog with interest as I too, thought I met the perfect man for me. He had a good job, was funny and cute; however, he also had a mean streak, that I blindly ignored until several years later and he started abusing our children and myself. Take care and take heed to this. A man who truly loves you will never hurt you, mentally or physically. I don’t know if you have read the Bible, but there is a really good definition of love, man and woman love. Here it is: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 4:13 Whatever you decide, know that someone who cares and is praying for you. Take care.
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