Witeee Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 Hi, I met a girl online from the POF website. We had a good chat and when I asked her out she said "that sounds great!". So quite enthusiastic. I asked her when she was free, to which she replied "I'm not sure my schedule is really busy at the minute". So I said "That's cool. What's your Facebook and you can let me know when your schedule clears up". She gave me her name and I added her. I left it after that. Its been two weeks and she hasn't arranged anything with me. I've liked a few posts of hers and commented like once. Very sparse. Yesterday it was snowing and I posted a picture of the snow. She commented: Her: Lets go play! x Me: *gets gloves on* x Her: Woolies, leather, Latex???? Building the scenario x Me: You're trouble x She liked a picture I posted of myself after this. So its obvious she's interested. But knowing what I know about women, especially online; they like to test you. So my question is... do I leave it until she actually messages me before I try and get her out again? See if I message her now because she's shown a bit of interest there... it just sounds really weak. Especially because she could quite clearly turn round and say her schedules still packed. To which I look like a div. What are your thoughts?
Robratory Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 Well, you've come this far, I guess, so there's no harm in trying one last time. You never did ask a second time, and most women won't follow up. In the beginning stages, the ball is never in their court. I would contact her with a friendly but to the point, "Hey, are we going to meet or what?" In general, I don't facebook with women from dating sites, and I don't do long chats over the phone much less via email or text. The purpose of online dating is to meet. If people are too busy, then they're wasting everyone's time. There's no excuse for having an online dating profile and then telling people, "Oh, can't go out... my schedule!" And not to rain on your parade, but I deleted my POF profile precisely because too many of the women I contacted, when they replied, wanted to exchange mails, but would always dodge actually meeting. They'd change the subject, or they'd agree in general but wouldn't settle on a date, etc.
angel.eyes Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 If you want a date, ask her out again. If you lock down a specific date and time, great. If the answer is again too busy to meet for the foreseeable future, call it a day and move on to someone else who is willing and ready to date. I'm wondering. What are you hoping to accomplish with the likes and comments on her posts? That seems weak and wishy-washy to me. Focus on what you want and be direct. The goal isn't to be her Facebook fan. It's to get a date, right? So, cut to the chase and try to nail down a date. 1
Author Witeee Posted January 18, 2016 Author Posted January 18, 2016 Online dating is the worst for sure. For men especially. So much time investment to secure a date and even then its not guaranteed to result in a meet. Women just don't get that spark of attraction that you would in person I think. I guess I'm liking some posts just so she knows I'm still around. I commented once on a sexy new profile picture. You're probably right though I probably shouldn't have. I'll leave it till Wednesday and if still nothing then I'll shoot off a message.
Redhead14 Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 Hi, I met a girl online from the POF website. We had a good chat and when I asked her out she said "that sounds great!". So quite enthusiastic. I asked her when she was free, to which she replied "I'm not sure my schedule is really busy at the minute". So I said "That's cool. What's your Facebook and you can let me know when your schedule clears up". She gave me her name and I added her. I left it after that. Its been two weeks and she hasn't arranged anything with me. I've liked a few posts of hers and commented like once. Very sparse. Yesterday it was snowing and I posted a picture of the snow. She commented: Her: Lets go play! x Me: *gets gloves on* x Her: Woolies, leather, Latex???? Building the scenario x Me: You're trouble x She liked a picture I posted of myself after this. So its obvious she's interested. But knowing what I know about women, especially online; they like to test you. So my question is... do I leave it until she actually messages me before I try and get her out again? See if I message her now because she's shown a bit of interest there... it just sounds really weak. Especially because she could quite clearly turn round and say her schedules still packed. To which I look like a div. What are your thoughts? She's giving you a green light, IMO, to ask her out. She's not going to initiate an actual date right now at least. That's your "job" for the first few dates. When it's clear to her that things are established between you, she should start intiating more herself. But for, now, take and keep the lead.
scooby-philly Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 I agree with Redhead and several of the other posters. You have to view this from her angle. She's expressed interest but wants to judge your level of commitment to the process and to her. I'd ask her out one last time - with 2-3 options at different times - drinks/coffee after work, friday/saturday night or sunday for brunch/ coffee - that way she has a range of options that could fit into her schedule. After that, if she doesn't respond, or doesn't have "time" - then move on. I agree, to a certain extent, with another poster who mentioned how people play games online. I don't think people play games - they just don't know what they're really looking for or what they want or what they have time for until they're put into such circumstances. So you have to play the game yourself and also see things from the other person's perspective. But don't feel bad either. If you reach out one more time, you've given them the option and if she doesn't pick up the ball and run with it - next.
Author Witeee Posted January 19, 2016 Author Posted January 19, 2016 Well I sent her a message asking how her schedule was. Got a bit of drama from her life. Seems genuine enough but quite hardcore tbh. She sent me a dirty pic randomly of her in the bath. Which... was very welcomed. She doesn't seem in the right place to be dating though from what she was saying. I have a feeling she'll no doubt hit me up though now I'm leaving it at that. So we'll see.
VeveCakes Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Don't add dating prospects on FB - just don't.
Redhead14 Posted January 19, 2016 Posted January 19, 2016 Well I sent her a message asking how her schedule was. Got a bit of drama from her life. Seems genuine enough but quite hardcore tbh. She sent me a dirty pic randomly of her in the bath. Which... was very welcomed. She doesn't seem in the right place to be dating though from what she was saying. I have a feeling she'll no doubt hit me up though now I'm leaving it at that. So we'll see. She doesn't seem in the right place to be dating -- But she is in the right place to be sending suggestive pictures????
Author Witeee Posted January 20, 2016 Author Posted January 20, 2016 She doesn't seem in the right place to be dating -- But she is in the right place to be sending suggestive pictures???? I asked about her schedule and that we should probably get together before we're old and grey. She never directly answered that. Just talked about how she will be old and grey soon due to stress and went off on her own tangent. She asked me "whats your story". And I said well you'll have to be bold enough to grab a few drinks with me to find out. She said "bold? thats a shadow of my former self". Again not taking the bait. What else can I do there but look for the exit? While she was being incredibly open and honest about herself... I'm not gonna sit there and be her emotional tampon.
joseb Posted January 20, 2016 Posted January 20, 2016 She's sent you raunchy pics and mentioned latex, either she's a complete tease or she is up for it. I'd suggest you be more assertive (i.e. mention a specific time and place) one more time and if she doesn't agree or give an alternative forget about her for a while.
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