LikkleMissConfused Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Hey folks, I really need some comforting today. As you may have read my previous post, I met a guy six weeks ago that I really liked. He took me out on a quite a few dates, we had a good time really good time (in my opinion). He opened up to me saying things like how much he liked me, I have the X-factor for him and I’m the kind of girl he could really fall for. Basically he led me on. I found out last week that he was saying one thing to me and something else to his friends. Basically he is messing me about. So I had it out with him on the phone and told him that he has no respect no emotion and karma come round! Afterwards I got lots of phone calls and sorry text messages. But I’ve dropped it. Saw him out Friday night and he put his arm round me and said “you look great” I told him where to go. But this experience has left me feeling horrible. I know I deserve better but will I ever get it? I guess I really liked him and enjoyed his company. I’ve really been taken for a fool and it has knocked my self confidence. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
Author LikkleMissConfused Posted June 6, 2005 Author Posted June 6, 2005 chaos70 I don't understand your message!
d'Arthez Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Forget about the guy. Honesty is not being solely tested when you talk to each other, but also when you are talking to each other's friends. If there is a big difference in what he says to you and your friends it can point to two things: he is telling your friends the truth, and that means you better not get involved with him. Or he is telling you the truth and he is too afraid of telling his friends the truth, for whatever reason. Obviously the latter option is a big red flag too, as he does not stand up for you. It may be that he is a bit confused, but that would have been expressed in the way he chose his words with you and his friends. He lacks integrity, something which would be vital for any relationship. And manners. In short forget about the guy, there are many better guys around. Be patient, and don't let yourself feel to down because of this.
Author LikkleMissConfused Posted June 6, 2005 Author Posted June 6, 2005 Thank you so much for your advice and I agree with what you are saying totally. I guess sometimes I look in the mirror and think to myself, that I am a nice person, am very attractive and have so much to give, but nobody wants it. I’m having a very down day and feel very hopeless. I don’t feel eager to meet someone but I did like this guy that I met and he gave me the impression he liked me. Hopefully in a few days I will start to feel better.
d'Arthez Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Yes, you will feel better in a couple of days. Sometimes it is really hard to meet people, and it has nothing to do with who you really are. The causes might be situational things (you don't meet men in your age bracket) for instance, or that men simply overlook you for whatever reason. Call it stupidity if you want, . Don't let yourself be bothered by your current ill luck with men. Be patient, and focus on yourself, and the things you can do to make your life better. You will feel better, and to top it of you will attract better men, as an added bonus.And don't settle for a man who lack the integrity to be honest with you or with friends.
Author LikkleMissConfused Posted June 6, 2005 Author Posted June 6, 2005 I really value your advice and you are right in something’s that you say. He was nearly three years younger than me. So that could be a factor, also you are right I do not what someone who lacks integrity and can not be honest with me. It was not my friends that he spoke to. It was his friends, but in this short while they have got to know me and they like me so they thought I should know…..I find it amazing that he could spend time with me, come away for the weekend with me and basically he has no feeling for me whatsoever. I know I will be ok in a few days it has made me feel really low. He was telling me things that where really leading me on and I don’t understand how it doesn’t bother him. He knew how upset I was. I get really upset with myself because I still keep analysing him and giving him attention instead of myself! Also what really gets up my nerves is that I only knew him for six weeks how can I let him get to me so much. I have had flings with a few men and they never get to me this way. Did tell this guy though that I felt that this wasn’t just a fling there was a bit more there. I’m not sure about attracting better men, to be honest I’ve got a brill job, am secure financially and got a good personality and don’t look bad then why do I find it so hard to be with someone. There are no answers only time, and meditation within myself will help. I guess I can’t be any more upset than I already am.
Mr Spock Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Wait until you're older to dabble in younger men. For now, focus on the older ones-it's the best of both worlds..............
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