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how to deal with his secret teen Porn habit


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Posted (edited)

Hi guys I posted a while back as I realised by new perfect boyfriend that I was so happy with in every respect had a porn habit and was looking every day at pictures and porn on the Internet, also jacking off daily. I felt a bit hurt and shocked by the porn as it was the opposite of what is expect, sleazy, dirty "chavs" where as in real life he's quite classy. Now I like porn, I have no issues at all with it and since posting and your advice I've decided not to confront him as I don't think it would achieve anything.

 

In all honesty I can find it all a bit of a turn on and we've started watching some together. Thing is since my last post I've realised he is in to teen porn ( he's 41 and I'm 29) ok teen porn is fine and I get it although can't help thinking its a bit Pervy ( each to their own ) however this week I saw he'd been looking at jailbait pics which made me feel sick , also we were watching some day time tv with a pretty girl on, he went and searched for pictures of her nude which pissed me right off. I just worry that it's all getting a bit weird. I really don't want him to know I was snooping for obvious reasons but also want him to know it's creepy and not okay.

 

Can anyone give me some advice here? It's starting to all get a bit too much

 

I have to stress he doesn't know I realise what his little kinks are ( young porn ) and that outside of all of this he is so perfect in every way

 

Oh this week I also heard him jacking off in the toilet while I was home, usually he only does it while I'm out and I found this totally disrespectful.

 

Ugh

Edited by Arabellad25
Posted

I'm sorry but he sounds like a total loser

  • Like 13
Posted

you're only dating - you don't have to deal with it if you don't want. Exit stage left is also an option

  • Like 7
Posted

This is probably something he's been into for quite a while now.

 

I wouldn't like it and would not want to see him again.

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

When someone is more interested in other people's pink bits than their partner's, then it's not a terribly good relationship.

 

You might like to look on the forums on this site:

 

NoFap, google it

 

It's a community that was created for people who are addicted to porn, which your guy clearly is, but there are also forums and advice on being the partner in such a relationship.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed URL to a copyrighted site
  • Like 1
Posted

Hon, dating is about finding a suitable partner. You are just a little over 6 months with this man and are already complaining about lack of sex and now this disturbing porn addiction. I have nothing against porn but it's something to enjoy occasionally not on daily basis AND not something that is suppose to take priority over real sex with your girlfriend.

 

You cannot do anything against an addiction. You cannot change him and you cannot help him. From here it will be a trip downhill.

 

I strongly suggest you break up and move on before you invest yourself even more in something that has no happy ending for you.

  • Like 7
Posted

So I can't really defend the jailbait thing or the frequency, but in this world of plastic women in porn... the teen porn is the only porn with "real" girls.

 

Are you still having sex regularly? Has this started all of a sudden? Maybe he's stressed out and that's how he copes.

 

In the end, if you don't want to be with someone who does that all the time then confront him. If he doesn't (or doesn't want to) change then bounce.

Posted

How often are you having sex? If you're only having sex once a week you can't blame him for jerking off a lot. It sounds like he needs to get off just about daily. Maybe his libido is just way higher than yours, in which case your relationship might not work out, or the two of you just aren't having enough sex, in which case you could try to have sex more often.

And for those people saying this is porn addiction, it's only porn addiction if he continues this behaviour to the extent where it impairs his daily functioning, and this is not even close to that. For example it would be porn addiction if he was consuming it so often that he would be unable to have sex with OP (because he would be unable to get or sustain an erection).

Posted
Hi guys I posted a while back as I realised by new perfect boyfriend that I was so happy with in every respect had a porn habit and was looking every day at pictures and porn on the Internet, also jacking off daily. I felt a bit hurt and shocked by the porn as it was the opposite of what is expect, sleazy, dirty "chavs" where as in real life he's quite classy. Now I like porn, I have no issues at all with it and since posting and your advice I've decided not to confront him as I don't think it would achieve anything.

 

In all honesty I can find it all a bit of a turn on and we've started watching some together. Thing is since my last post I've realised he is in to teen porn ( he's 41 and I'm 29) ok teen porn is fine and I get it although can't help thinking its a bit Pervy ( each to their own ) however this week I saw he'd been looking at jailbait pics which made me feel sick , also we were watching some day time tv with a pretty girl on, he went and searched for pictures of her nude which pissed me right off. I just worry that it's all getting a bit weird. I really don't want him to know I was snooping for obvious reasons but also want him to know it's creepy and not okay.

 

Can anyone give me some advice here? It's starting to all get a bit too much

 

I have to stress he doesn't know I realise what his little kinks are ( young porn ) and that outside of all of this he is so perfect in every way

 

Oh this week I also heard him jacking off in the toilet while I was home, usually he only does it while I'm out and I found this totally disrespectful.

 

Ugh

 

This guy has a problem. Like a serious problem. Sees young girls on TV, has to look them up and jerk off? Plus he's not some 20 something... he's 41 and acts like an addict.

 

Your only solution to salvage this relationship is to role play. Make him believe you are these women he jerks off to... he then will want sex with you. Problem I see is that it could turn into him not ever loving you the person, just using you to fulfill his fantasies.

Posted

Oh come on, many guys look at porn and jack off every day. The only thing I see that's troubling is his lack of boundaries. Looking up nudies of some TV personality in front of your GF is freakin dumb, and is grounds for dumping his sorry butt.

 

But porn? Unless you have a dysfunctional sex life, there's nothing wrong or abnormal with supplementing good sex with a little jerk-off session.

  • Author
Posted

Hi guys thanks for all the messages... I have a seriously high sex drive and at the moment seem to be initiating a lot more than him, he never really reject at all and on initially discovering he was into all of this I just decided to suggest we watch porn together. It does turn me on!! The problem here is really the content, I'm not sure I like the way it's heading searching jAilbait, jerking in the toilet ( only once ) and searching tHt young girl naked.

 

I get he must have an addiction from before we met.. And it's a bad ones I mean he searched all types of images while he's just say on the sofa watching tv and I'm not in the same room, he doesn't instantly go to jerk off it's just some weird habbit he as ( and doesn't know I know About )

 

So I mean how should I deal with it?

 

Thanks again

  • Author
Posted

Oh and we've been together a year, living together for 3 months. As I mentioned he is so perfect in every other way and I can really finally see myself marrying this guy - just this one little irritating thing that I can't shake off from my mind

  • Author
Posted
When someone is more interested in other people's pink bits than their partner's, then it's not a terribly good relationship.

 

You might like to look on the forums on this site:

 

NoFap, google it

 

It's a community that was created for people who are addicted to porn, which your guy clearly is, but there are also forums and advice on being the partner in such a relationship.

 

Thanks a lot for your advice - I'll check it out

Posted

So I mean how should I deal with it?

You need to bring it out in the open and discuss it with him.

 

Be honest with your feelings and find out about his. Right now, you are speculating.

 

Sadly, the teen porn thing is REALLY prevalent. If you start with a sight like Motherless-dot-com (a site *I* frequent for the type of porn I like), the first images that are presented are teens. For too many men, this is an easy gateway because it is JUST THERE.

 

If you like the guy and want a future, you need to be able to talk about what you have learned about him and see if there is a reason or rationale for his porn usage. He might be willing to change or he might be too set in his ways. But you won't know if you don't give him an opportunity to deal with an issue that he may not even realize exists in your relationship.

  • Like 5
Posted
Hi guys thanks for all the messages... I have a seriously high sex drive and at the moment seem to be initiating a lot more than him, he never really reject at all and on initially discovering he was into all of this I just decided to suggest we watch porn together. It does turn me on!! The problem here is really the content, I'm not sure I like the way it's heading searching jAilbait, jerking in the toilet ( only once ) and searching tHt young girl naked.

 

I get he must have an addiction from before we met.. And it's a bad ones I mean he searched all types of images while he's just say on the sofa watching tv and I'm not in the same room, he doesn't instantly go to jerk off it's just some weird habbit he as ( and doesn't know I know About )

 

So I mean how should I deal with it?

 

Thanks again

 

How about talking to him about it???

  • Author
Posted
Oh come on, many guys look at porn and jack off every day. The only thing I see that's troubling is his lack of boundaries. Looking up nudies of some TV personality in front of your GF is freakin dumb, and is grounds for dumping his sorry butt.

 

But porn? Unless you have a dysfunctional sex life, there's nothing wrong or abnormal with supplementing good sex with a little jerk-off session.

 

Hi, again thanks. He didn't search infront of me. We were watching and he was taking the mock out of the presenter saying "yeah, your just thinking about what you want to do to her after the show" - I kind of snapped back saying. ehm he's probably not - she looks about 14" And when i SAW HIS Google history later - there is was, searching for her nude. Makes me cringe

Posted
Oh and we've been together a year, living together for 3 months. As I mentioned he is so perfect in every other way and I can really finally see myself marrying this guy - just this one little irritating thing that I can't shake off from my mind

 

It's not a small thing it's rather huge.

 

You cannot deal with this, it's his to deal with. You cannot change or fix someone. Keep in mind he is 40 yo so his libido will be declining from here. You as a woman will reach your sexual peak at 40 when he's 51.

 

Also, you're 11 years younger. Were his ex-girlfriends as young as you? Did he have any long term relationships before you? Why those relationship ended? You won't be 29 all of your life. When you start looking like a mature woman and less like a young one will he still be attracted?

Posted

I date younger women and I find "teen porn" attractive as well.

 

Let me tell you why though...

 

1) It's really feminine, girly, pink and cute. That's hot to me.

 

2) I like thin, petite, tiny girls. That's what "teen porn" is. Also really hot.

 

If your dude is anything like me, all you need to do to get him away from that is girl glam it out a bit and seduce him.

 

Get some cutesy stuff lime they wear and wear that instead of boring "neglege" or w.e.

 

We find teen porn hot because of the cuts of the clothing, the girly colors, the thin girls in it.

 

Anyone of any age looks much hotter to us in those kinds of outfits.

 

You might want to try that as well as communication.

  • Author
Posted

Hey thanks. Is there a way I can bring this up without him knowing I was snooping? Like I feel I should but really don't want it to risk ruining such a good thing we have or for him to continue but in a more secretive / sneaky way. I mean I feel like people should make their own choices and not be told what not to do by a partner.... Can you recommend how or what to say tHt will make it as least awkward as possible for him?

  • Author
Posted

Hey, I don't look dos similar to the girls - Infact I look much better in a lot of cases. Im slim and without being big headed take good care of myself and look good wether I'm all done up or jail chilling in my sweats. So I'm not sure that's the issue!!

  • Author
Posted (edited)

Hi he has been in 2 long term relationships both over 5 years and both the same age. One he bought a house with then they ended up as still friends, no hostility at all. The other moved abroad and although they tried to keep it going for a year or so she decided to stay there for good and it ended. He was single a year then met me. His friends and family are all fab and say they are thankful he is finally so happy with someone... They all kind of think marriage is on the cards

 

By the same age I mean the same age as him. There's nothing odd about him other than the teen thing

Edited by Arabellad25
Posted
Hey thanks. Is there a way I can bring this up without him knowing I was snooping? Like I feel I should but really don't want it to risk ruining such a good thing we have or for him to continue but in a more secretive / sneaky way. I mean I feel like people should make their own choices and not be told what not to do by a partner.... Can you recommend how or what to say tHt will make it as least awkward as possible for him?

 

Best thing I could think of? Dishonesty, unfortunately. :D

 

Pretending to have your own slight interest/curiosity in this teen look will open him right up. I'm sure he'll gush all about it if he feels he has a friendly person to open up to about it.

 

It would also get him dangerously hot for you. He won't be able to leave you alone. :lmao:

 

He has a fantasy. A sexual preference. If you can be that fantasy, just through style alone, he'll be so hooked on you as his real life teen, he should forget all about the others.

 

TBH, my ex wife was indeed my real life teen. She already came looking the part, but I stopped looking at porn entirely and still don't, even after we divorced. I'm looking for a new petite girl in this same vain.

Posted

He has a fantasy.

 

He has a fantasy alright ! Having sex with under-age girls who's body are not fully developed yet. That would bother me a great deal. The porn does not bother me, his choice of porn does though. I would be constantly thinking my 12 year old nieces are turning him on. It's not something I would want to be associated with in any shape or form.

  • Like 6
  • Author
Posted

Well like I said earlier, I'm really not threatened as I don't look dis similar. He also looks at transsexual porn but this just seems to be actual porn for jerking rather than just ogling pics while watching tv... I can't grow a penis though can I? I mean I know he's not gay he just has kinks prob due to the amount of porn he watches... Ugh again - not sure wether to discuss or how? :)

Posted

Hun it's his habit/fetish, he isn't going to stop it even if you say something about it.

 

I understand a man likes his private time, and a little porn is normal BUT to the extent you are taking about IMO he has an addiction. Hiding in the bathroom to wack off, scanning through photos all day long, instantly searching for naked photos of someone he sees on TV? It's consuming his life. If you wish to confront him about it, you need to do your research on porn addiction. Once you have the knowledge, you will be able to know how to approach him about it, and discuss him getting help. If he refuses and doesn't acknowledge he has a problem, then I suggest you breakup with him and move on.

  • Like 2
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