shyguy3543 Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 So tonight was my meet-up with the girl from my kickball team (the one I spoke about in this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/565157-being-needy-vs-playing-games. hmm.. I don't know how I feel about how it went. She's definitely more shy than I had expected (she even said how she loved the video I posted of me playing guitar and singing recently on Facebook and wanted to comment but was too shy to haha), but she's really cute and seems really down to earth and just put off a great vibe. I enjoyed the night overall. I just don't know if I did a good job of making it enough of a date rather than just a hang out kinda thing. I mean, it was the first time we had ever really spoken to each other in person so I wasn't expecting all too much but yea, that's my biggest concern at this point. I'm hoping it served well to break the ice at least. So I got there a bit early and waited outside the restaurant (buffalo wild wings) for her. She had texted me to let me know she was running a bit late and got there about 10 minutes late or so. She got there, we hugged (though she only hugged with one arm). I dressed up nicely and whatnot, she wore a Patriots jersey haha. The whole premise of the meetup was to watch football, so I get that and I'm not taking it as a sign that I'm sworn off to be just a friend. Conversation was fine. We didn't have any awkward silences or any conversation that seemed forced for the sake of avoiding silence. We got to know each other a bit and stuff. We spoke about snowboarding and I suggested that we go sometime soon. She said she'd really like that. She also suggested going to the driving range sometime. Everyone always says how eye contact and physical contact are a big thing on dates. Whenever we'd make eye contact, she'd look away relatively quickly. I put my hand on her shoulder a few times when I'd tease her about the Cardinals making a bad play and stuff but the closest she came to contact with me was nearly nudging me with her elbow when I joked about getting the waiter to sing happy birthday to her. She like made the motion but didn't actually nudge me lol. I covered the tab. She asked to at least let her pay half and I said no, of course. Then she offered to pay tip and I said no, and she thanked me. We stuck around until the end of the game. At the end of regulation time in the game, the Packers scored an insane touchdown and she was all into it and standing up. She looked at me and motioned for a high five (whoopee for physical contact? lmao) Once the game ended, we went outside and I said I'd walk her to her car. She was okay with it and said it'd be good to have me to protect her in case this drunk patriots fan appeared that gave her a high five in the restaurant when he saw her jersey and she said she'd drive me to my car. We walked like a block next to each other and just talked and whatever but when we got to the parking garage, she like basically started sprinting. She was walking like really, really fast haha. She walked in one direction for a few steps as if she was looking for her car and then turned in the other direction and I was like just following her. We got in the car and she drove me like 20 seconds to my car. She pulled over, thanked me again, and asked me to look into the snowboarding idea. She didn't get out or take her seatbelt off or anything. I had to reach across after taking my seatbelt off to give her a hug good bye and it was pretty weak. I asked her to send me a text when she got home. She did and meh, it felt friendly. Her: I'm home. Thanks again! What a game! Me: Thanks for letting me know. And of course, I had a good time. But the part of me rooting for the packers is pretty upset. Her: Ugh I'm sorry dude (<--- I felt like this was the worst sign when she called me dude) Me: So lame! I'm gonna get ready for bed but I'll look into that snowboarding idea soon and we'll figure out when we can get out there and destroy our knees. Have a good night! Her: Sounds awesome. Good night! Is it a case of shyness? Or is she just not into me and wants a friend? I think the snowboarding could be great as a date if I can make it clearer that I want it to be a date but aside from paying for it (which, crap, it'd be expensive with equpment rentals and all), what do I do? I figure there will be plenty of chances to hold hands while we help each other snowboard and stuff, but even that can be just a friendly thing. She definitely seems like the kind of girl to take things slow (I expected that after seeing her okcupid profile) ... but damn, she's surely getting plenty of messages and date offers on OkC. It'd be a bummer if someone beat me to the punch. Of course nobody can read her mind, but if anyone has any suggestions or thoughts, they'd be welcome and appreciated! Thanks!!
Ami1uwant Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 Dud you ask her out on another date? Hard to say what interest she has. You ask her and see if she wants yo see you again.
GemmaUK Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 From your previous thread and this one yes, you're just friends.
Author shyguy3543 Posted January 18, 2016 Author Posted January 18, 2016 Crap!! This puts me in a lame position if you guys are right... deciding whether or not to pay for the snowboarding idea lol.
angel.eyes Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 It's not clear whether it was a date or just two friends hanging out over a mutual interest. Was there flirting? Any cute banter? From your description, the vibe sounds like two buds hanging out. I've been in her shoes, and it's an awkward feeling when the guy isn't clear about the purpose of meeting. I assume it's two friends hanging out unless he makes it clear that it's a date. He asked for the meeting. It's his prerogative to set the tone. If it's buds, I can do that. It sounds like that's what she did here.
Author shyguy3543 Posted January 18, 2016 Author Posted January 18, 2016 It's not clear whether it was a date or just two friends hanging out over a mutual interest. Was there flirting? Any cute banter? From your description, the vibe sounds like two buds hanging out. I've been in her shoes, and it's an awkward feeling when the guy isn't clear about the purpose of meeting. I assume it's two friends hanging out unless he makes it clear that it's a date. He asked for the meeting. It's his prerogative to set the tone. If it's buds, I can do that. It sounds like that's what she did here. Meh, it was a lot of getting to know each other but I don't think there was much flirting, to be totally honest. I can't blame the environment, but I don't think Buffalo Wild Wings during a football playoffs game was my best idea from a romantic standpoint. It did great to keep things low pressure, but I'm thinking it was way too low pressure haha. I was actually thinking of shooting her a text tomorrow suggesting we get tea on Wednesday. But how can I make it known that I'd like it to be a date? I was thinking something like "Hey, I'd like to take you out for some tea on Wednesday in [city where we met up]. I promise I'll protect you from the Patriots weirdo if he pops up again haha" (in reference to the drunk patriots fan that gave her a high five after staring at us for like 10 seconds)
Terry8889 Posted January 18, 2016 Posted January 18, 2016 Stop being so intense and worrisome. First you gotta make it clear to her what your intentions are, tell her you like her, that youre romantically interested in her and that you would like to get to know each her more to see where things can go between you both. If she agrees great she knows what she is in for, if not you won't have to waste your time and energy wondering what she really wants. If you let this relationship float in the limbo without making things clear you might be setting yourself to go directly to the friend zone.
Author shyguy3543 Posted January 18, 2016 Author Posted January 18, 2016 It sounds like it'd be so simple haha. I don't know why I'm so concerned that if I tell her something like that with us just getting to know each other, it'd scare her off or something. My last two serious relationships (7.5 years and 2 years) stemmed from friendships. But since my last breakup, it seems virtually impossible to build a relationship off of a friendship without ending up in the friend zone. Ugh!
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