Feeling obsessed with my ex after being rejected more than once!

[Jim nine three]

Long story short,I was in a relationship with my ex for 3,5 years.I decided to break up with her because things weren't working out even though I still loved her very much.We have been on and off for some time after that up until I asked her to get back together.She rejected me,more than once,and clearly stated that we can't get back together again.However she still talks to me and wants to hang out,which confuses the hell out of me.Every time we go out there is some teasing and flirting but nothing more than that.

 

My bigger issue however is that I feel like I am obsessed with her.I think about her 24/7 , can't resist visiting her facebook profile every hour or so,overthink every word she said during our conversations,trying to decipher clues and such and all in all I feel like my life is revolving around her.I haven't dated anyone else since our breakup because I still feel emotionally attached to her.It is totally unhealthy and I feel horrible with myself for doing it,but I just can't help it.

 

What should I do? I know I should probably cut off all contact with her and move on with my life,but I still love her and would love to get back together.

[CC12]

She said she's not going to get back together with you ever, so please try to give up on that.

 

And yes, you should cut off contact with her. If you can't bear to cut her out of your life forever, how about just not speaking to her for a month (or 6 or 12) or for however long it takes you to get over her.

 

You've got to take some time for yourself. Your life cannot revolve around someone else. You need to form some new habits. How about taking a hiatus from social media for a while so you can't check up on her. Take better care of yourself. Start some new hobbies - cooking or doing yoga or something.

 

You can be honest and tell her that you still feel emotionally attached to her and that it's unhealthy for you to be around her. Ask her nicely not to contact you and make sure she understands why. If she contacts you for anything other than a life-threatening emergency, you'll know that she cares more about entertaining herself than she cares about your sanity and well-being.

 

You'll be okay.

[Nickr3023]

Long story short,I was in a relationship with my ex for 3,5 years.I decided to break up with her because things weren't working out even though I still loved her very much.We have been on and off for some time after that up until I asked her to get back together.She rejected me,more than once,and clearly stated that we can't get back together again.However she still talks to me and wants to hang out,which confuses the hell out of me.Every time we go out there is some teasing and flirting but nothing more than that.

 

My bigger issue however is that I feel like I am obsessed with her.I think about her 24/7 , can't resist visiting her facebook profile every hour or so,overthink every word she said during our conversations,trying to decipher clues and such and all in all I feel like my life is revolving around her.I haven't dated anyone else since our breakup because I still feel emotionally attached to her.It is totally unhealthy and I feel horrible with myself for doing it,but I just can't help it.

 

What should I do? I know I should probably cut off all contact with her and move on with my life,but I still love her and would love to get back together.

 

I feel just like you man. Except I've been NC for a month now and the BU was 2 months ago. But I still feel obsessed and can't get her out of my mind. I've started counseling and also have been put on antidepressants to try and help with the obsessive behaviors. I wish you luck man. Keeping that person in your life is simply brutal. You'll never heal that way unfortunately.

[elly key]

I could sound rude, but what did you expect when you dumped her? You loved her but broke up with her? It doesn't make any sense. She doesn't want to get back together because she might be afraid of being hurt again. I totally understand her feelings.

 

As for your obsession, try to speak with someone. There will be a line which you will have to cross to stop think about her so much. But you need to speak your way to that line.