Is there anything here above 51%?

[keplerforte]

Hello friends,

 

A reasonably long post, but I want to give as much context as possible because it's over the internet, and she's socially awkward as she has only made contact with people through the internet for the past few years.

 

I've been friends with this girl on the internet for a while now. We both live in the UK, although she lives in Wales so it will have to be a long distance relationship, but it's definitely manageable considering our financial situations. We've been friends for 2-3 months, but for the past two weeks we've been talking endlessly about everything, spending a lot of time chatting and conversations tend to delve into deeper territory as we talk about our past lives and previous relationships. We have a LOT of fun together, and she hasn't had this much chemistry with someone in a VERY long time. Obviously I'm interested in her, and I've made a conscious effort to occasionally myself scarce and do some playful flirting so to question her attraction towards me.

 

I'm getting really mixed signals from her, and I can't what her intentions are. meeting in person is pretty much out of the question, unless she already trusts me to the point of being in a relationship together. at least, this is what I gathered. She has gone through several foster parents and has had a very tough upbringing, which I believe is the cause of her social anxiety. She used to date a guy in university years back but she hasn't done much with her life since then.

 

While it could have been worse, I decided to let her know how I felt. one time, we were jokingly listing the names of people we'd want to anal with (we both like anal), she mentioned my name at the very end. Along with the other times anal was brought up, I assumed that she was testing me, or wanted to show that she was interested in me. either way, I figured something was there. This was why I decided to bite the bullet and told her how I felt soon. I tried not to pressure her. The conversation went something like this:

 

"I'm going to tell this to you because I trust you, and I don't want you to feel pressured to respond because I simply need to get this off my chest. I have had feelings for you for a while now"

"you're cool and all but yeah, sorry. I'm the worst at this kind of stuff"

"Is that because you're afraid of a relationship, or do you just see me as a friend too?"

"that too. and well, i'm just a shut-in"

 

After a while, we resumed to talk normally as if none of it had happened. This is quite a fortunate thing to happen as I expected the friendship to end at this point. I should not have done any of this in the first place because I could have conveyed the same message through flirting, but I've learned from my mistake.

 

HOWEVER: we are still friends, and she is now aware of how I feel.

 

after the "confession", I've attempted to make myself more scarce. the results from disappearing has had an effect as she always chases after me and questions where I've been. She is definitely clingy with me, but to what extent I'm not sure. She has not responded well to my own flirting, BUT I'm not sure if she's trying to make advances on me through some of her words. Some of many examples:

 

- we frequently call each other "semen demons" (very often), and the topic of "anal" is very frequently brought up (jokingly)

 

- we converse a lot about sexual topics, but 95% of the time we're not the subject of it. she likes to awkwardly bring up how she's not a virgin. not sure if this is meant to be a tease or what

 

- I was talking about my sister having a lot of bfs, she came out with "do you need to be dating someone to suck their dick?" << this one REALLY made me raise eyebrows. I can't imagine anyone saying this to a person who KNOWS that they have feelings for them

 

What do you guys think? She's a really sweet person and I would love to be with her, but I can't understand what her intentions are. She used to be much worse than how she is now and has grown to live quite independently, if in the wrong kind of way. I haven't met someone I've had this much chemistry with and this many things in common in a long time. perhaps we need even more time to develop some intimacy, I'd like to count on that.

 

Thanks so much for reading!!

[Rejected Rosebud]

I don't even understand how two people who haven't even met and have been chatting online for a few weeks get around to discussing anal often. Maybe I'm just a big prude!

 

I guess since you call each other semen demons, you are okay with the idea that she might be a guy?

[keplerforte]

I don't even understand how two people who haven't even met and have been chatting online for a few weeks get around to discussing anal often. Maybe I'm just a big prude!

 

I guess since you call each other semen demons, you are okay with the idea that she might be a guy?

 

It honestly wouldnt make a difference to me. Considering the stories shes told though, im certain she's a girl.

 

As for the anal thing, I guess its just the fact that we are both open minded people and huge oddballs

[Sunyata]

I just realized I have no idea what OP meant with the topic title. I don't feel like re-reading the post though.

[carhill]

OK, the state I live in twice the size of the UK and we think nothing of driving to visit friends and lovers. Heh, I think the longest drive I took and stayed within the state to visit an 'internet' date was, whoa, back in 1996 and took about six hours, each way. Did that twice. If you're interested in dating, which I presume you are since you posted this in the dating forum, when do you plan on hitting the road and visiting the lady, since costs aren't a factor?