Qmclovin Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 I fell in love hard. First time I think I've really been in love in my life. He is married. He assured me it was on its way out, even though they have a baby. We've been together for almost five months now. His wife and daughter left to go back to their home in another country two months ago. The end was supposed to be there. He decided he wanted to do it in person. So he waited until Christmas when he went down. He mentioned a seperation but didn't come back a separated man. The guilt I have been going through is horrible. The longer it goes on the worse it got for me, because I started to question whether or not he was really actually going to tell her or leave her. He says his daughter is important and he needed time to find the best way to do it. I couldn't handle it anymore and I told his wife yesterday. I needed to clear myself. I didn't know what would happen after that. He's now moving from the country tomorrow as his wife gave him an ultimatum if he ever wanted to see his daughter again. This man who I fell in love with more than anybody I've ever had in my life is now gone from my life forever as of tomorrow. I'm broken. I'm so broken. Did I do the right thing by telling her ? He told me I just had to give him more time. I don't know if he ever would. But what if he would have ? Did I just ruin my chance at having the man of my dreams ?
Scarlett.O'hara Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 You involved yourself in this mess, now you have to face the consequences. Did you do the right thing telling her? That is a tough one to answer. I think it comes down to motivation. Was it out of compassion and remorse, or was it just to break up their family? If it was the latter, then no, it wasn't the right thing to do. It was selfish and cruel. Did you ruin your chance at having the man of your dreams? That depends.. is the man of your dreams a despicable liar and cheat? Is he the sort of weak man who makes vows, starts a family, and then betrays them? Does he use another woman for his own fulfillment, making her promises that he doesn't keep, while continuing to give her just enough hope that she sticks around, wasting her life on a fantasy? If that is your dream man then your standards are too low. If you continue to leave that door open then he might come back, but if he does you need to accept him for exactly the type of man he is, and the likelihood that he will betray you exactly the same way he betrayed his wife.
sandylee1 Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 You did the right thing by telling her.. your motivation doesn't really matter.. What you told her was the truth. I doubt he was leaving her? Did his wife say anything about their marriage? A little baby and he's already cheating... you definetly did the right thing. Well done and in time you'll heal. Don't feel guilty.. you have a conscience.. unlike many others in your situation. 1
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