beuatylover9 Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 (edited) My co worker asked me out to dinner. I didn't want to turn him down so I said yes. I told my boyfriend that a guy that I met for work asked me out to dinner. I told my co worker that I had a boyfriend. Me and my co worker went to a fast food place for an hour and then we both went home after. I feel guilty for going out to dinner with my co worker but I would never cheat on my boyfriend. I was completely honest with my boyfriend that I went out to dinner with another guy and didn't do this behind his back. Did I ruin my relationship with my boyfriend by going out to dinner with my co worker? Edited January 16, 2016 by beuatylover9 1
nightshift Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 I don't know whether or not you ruined things with your boyfriend, but you definitely made a really odd choice. What was your thought process in accepting a dinner invitation from a co-worker? You said you didn't want to turn him down? Why not? You didn't want to hurt his feelings? You should have just said "No, thank you. I have a boyfriend." I hope you can work things out with your boyfriend, but you need to work on getting a better sense of boundaries in the future. 5
IronZ Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 I've gone to get drinks and dinner before with my female coworker. We're both in relationships at the moment and it was completely platonic (as friends) and no boundaries were crossed. If that's what this was then you have nothing to worry about. I'm curious since you mentioned you told the guy you had a bf, why did he still go to dinner with you? He was aware there was no shot with you, right? Was he ok with just hanging out with a friend? Also what did your bf say about the whole situation? Seems you have some guilt about it, but is that because he wasn't ok with it and you did so anyway? 1
Scarlett.O'hara Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 It depends on the intention of the dinner. If you aren't friends with this coworker or have a business reason to be having dinner with him, then it sounds more like a date. Would you have a problem with your boyfriend doing the same thing? If the answer is yes then you shouldn't be doing it. 1
Robratory Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Yes, it was wrong of you. Why the F**K would you go out to dinner with a guy if you already had a boyfriend? Can you possibly answer that? Why? 1
MidwestUSA Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 Yes, it was wrong of you. Why the F**K would you go out to dinner with a guy if you already had a boyfriend? Can you possibly answer that? Why? My goodness! It was FAST FOOD, for an hour. And she told both parties her situation. Maybe they were both hungry? OP, where did you go? Burgers or tacos? It's all good. 3
Ami1uwant Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 Going out with an opposite seeps coworker fir lunch or dinner is perfectly fine. The isdue is if he asked you as a date, you said yes, but never mentioned you had a boyfriend.
HereNorThere Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 If you have any sort of attraction towards the coworker, you're playing a dangerous game. Most affairs start from friends with good intentions that spent a little too much time together and crossed the line. This forum is full of stories just like yours that accidentally progressed into something else.
JustGettingBy Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 You haven't crossed the line yet, but you're walking towards it. Its good that your bf let this go, but its time to put on the breaks before you do cross the line.
Cherryz Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 You got many coworkers and you got many guys that may ask you for dinner. Are you going to go out with them all because you dont want to turn them down? Learn how to say no. In a polite but clear way. If its dinner , you know what dinner means. It may be that you are giving the wrong impression to the guy make him think there is hope for you and him. Just say no or invite another person or more to go with the 2 of you. So you turn it into a group thing.You got many coworkers and you got many guys that may ask you for dinner. Are you going to go out with them all because you dont want to turn them down? Learn how to say no. In a polite but clear way. If its dinner , you know what dinner means. It may be that you are giving the wrong impression to the guy make him think there is hope for you and him. Just say no or invite another person or more to go with the 2 of you. So you turn it into a group thing.
MidwestUSA Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 (edited) I will admit that asking 'out for dinner' has to be defined by its intent. Was this guy looking at it as a date? If so, then he overstepped his boundaries, and hers, by following thru after she stated she had a boyfriend. And hopefully, she stated that when he asked, and not after they got there. AND, she informed her boyfriend before she went, not after the fact. If not, lesson learned. But I'd hardly consider McDonald's a date. Lame. I know that I'm free to call home and say 'honey, I'm going to grab a chzbrgr with XYZ, be home around 6 pm. Can I bring you something?' But maybe that comes with marriage and the trust we've established. And I'd have a reason for going - dude and I were discussing something important, and wanted to continue, it's a place I rarely get a chance to hit up (Five Guys), or I'm just starving! So many variables. The fact that OP feels guilty tells me it was the wrong decision. What does 'I didn't want to turn him down' mean? So, I semi retract my knee jerk first response. But I have a feeling she won't do it again. OP, what was your boyfriend's reaction? Edited January 17, 2016 by MidwestUSA
ExpatInItaly Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 Well, what was your boyfriend's reaction to this, OP? 1
Gaeta Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 Poster has a total of 12 posts and 11 of them are threads she created and never went back to.
Author beuatylover9 Posted January 17, 2016 Author Posted January 17, 2016 Well, what was your boyfriend's reaction to this, OP? At first, he didn't want me to go but then I explained to him that it is only fast food and I'll tell my co worker that I have a boyfriend and then my boyfriend was understanding of the situation.
road Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 My goodness! It was FAST FOOD, for an hour. And she told both parties her situation. Maybe they were both hungry? OP, where did you go? Burgers or tacos? It's all good. No not good she went on a date then told her BF.
MidwestUSA Posted January 17, 2016 Posted January 17, 2016 No not good she went on a date then told her BF. She told him before she went, and he was okay with it, if I'm reading correctly.
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