JJGR Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Hi there. Just over a year ago my girlfriend of 6 years ended our relationship. We'd been together since our second year of university and she was the only serious girlfriend I've ever had (I'm 27 now). We didn't have a perfect relationship - she struggled with depression for a while fairly early on and found it very tough finding a job after uni. But we were very loving and faithful and were always there for each other. Although looking back I can see that there were clear signs that things were going wrong during our last year together, the breakup still hit me out of the blue. She had been my life for so long that I found it very hard to cope with early on. In fact I was a complete mess and people seemed very worried about me. I saw her a month afterwards to clear the air and haven't seen her since. That was a year and a day ago. Since then I've thrown myself into work, taken up new hobbies, had 'me' time and reconnected with old friends, as well as making new ones. I even tried dating. So, all things people tell you to do after something like this. For a while I felt like I was making progress but over the last few months, I've really slumped. I still go to work, meet friends and do my hobbies but I feel like a part of me is missing. I still think about her everyday and some mornings it's a struggle to get out of bed and face the world without her. I think about what happened all the time and question everything about the relationship. I know it's not healthy but I can't seem to break the cycle. she was my best friend,he best I've ever had and I miss her so much, I still get upset sometimes but feel like i can't talk to family or friends. They think I'm over it and I don't want to sound like a broken record, especially after it's been so long. I guess I was just wondering if anyone had advice on what else to do? I just don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm worried that I'm going to miss her for the rest of my life. I still love her a lot.
NopeNah Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Give it more time or maybe try therapy if you don't want to talk to friends and family about it any longer.
lilacwine Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 (edited) Hi there. Just over a year ago my girlfriend of 6 years ended our relationship. We'd been together since our second year of university and she was the only serious girlfriend I've ever had (I'm 27 now). We didn't have a perfect relationship - she struggled with depression for a while fairly early on and found it very tough finding a job after uni. But we were very loving and faithful and were always there for each other. Although looking back I can see that there were clear signs that things were going wrong during our last year together, the breakup still hit me out of the blue. She had been my life for so long that I found it very hard to cope with early on. In fact I was a complete mess and people seemed very worried about me. I saw her a month afterwards to clear the air and haven't seen her since. That was a year and a day ago. Since then I've thrown myself into work, taken up new hobbies, had 'me' time and reconnected with old friends, as well as making new ones. I even tried dating. So, all things people tell you to do after something like this. For a while I felt like I was making progress but over the last few months, I've really slumped. I still go to work, meet friends and do my hobbies but I feel like a part of me is missing. I still think about her everyday and some mornings it's a struggle to get out of bed and face the world without her. I think about what happened all the time and question everything about the relationship. I know it's not healthy but I can't seem to break the cycle. she was my best friend,he best I've ever had and I miss her so much, I still get upset sometimes but feel like i can't talk to family or friends. They think I'm over it and I don't want to sound like a broken record, especially after it's been so long. I guess I was just wondering if anyone had advice on what else to do? I just don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm worried that I'm going to miss her for the rest of my life. I still love her a lot. Wow, sorry to hear your story but welcome to the broken-hearted club. I have not much to tell you but this: I was with my ex for only a year and a half (he dumped me, also kind of out of the blue) but it took me 3 years to be completely over him. So, it does get better with time but for you, given the length of the relationship was 6 years, no wonder you're still struggling after only 1 year. It takes a lot of time, i reckon, because you truly truly love her. Just be patient. You'll be healed completely one day. Also, I can still remember very vividly how I felt at the two year mark post breakup, I still felt exactly like you're feeling now. Feeling upset. Missing him too much. Feeling stuck. Feeling like I will miss him forever. Etc. etc. I never thought I could be completely over him like I do now. Time and complete NC is the way to go. Good luck!!! Edited January 16, 2016 by lilacwine
elly key Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 You need to talk your pain off. Find someone to speak with. It's not necessarily a person you know. It can be therapy or a person with similar issues in the Internet. I'm sure here you can find lots of support. My other advice is to meditate. There is a lot of meditation techniques online. Try to search them. A friend of mine gave me this advice. I'm not completely healed, but things got much better now. My personal attitude has changed. I'm wishing the fastest healing for your heat.
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