Con's_Gucci_Girl Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 I just have a question..... in some instances when the MM is not happy in his marriage and he starts pursuing another woman, are there some cases when the man actually decides he wants the OW instead of his current wife? What I am trying to ask is how often does the MM or MW decide that they would much rather be with the OW or OM? Does this happen often or does the story usually end with the OW or OM being heart broken because of the current spouse? Just curious! Thanks!
smile95 Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 it is hard to say.....a lot of factors come into play. I know some cases where he left and some where he went back. I know some who left the wife and took yrs to divorce them and I know one guy who left his wife and then went back. Is there more to your story? Usually I hear that the guys are charmers and they never leave. I did hear a stat that was interesting tho....95% of relationships that start out as an affair, never work out. But 5% do
StillHurtin Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 I am not the OW but the W and my H did come back to me after a few months of his A w/ the OW. We were seperated as he filed for a D claiming that neither one of where happy. So, yes H did go to the OW b/c he wasn't happy and I guess somehow he thought the OW could make him happy. We continued to stay separated for several months after he ended it w/ the OW. We have been back together close to 2 years. He realized that the grass wasn't greener on the other side. I agree w/ beth, different situations. Some men go back to their W's, some don't. Some W's take their unfaithul H back, while others do not. I know a few W's who have taken their unfaithful H's back and are happier now than b4, that is also the truth in my case, but still have a little trust issues.
wyzeup Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Sorry but this is all insane. Some guy you really don't know, who's married, you're physically attracted to him - you swear up and down in other similar recent posts of yours that you don't want to cheat - but here you're asking if MM/OM ever leave their wives for their mistresses. It's insane that you don't even know this guy. You know he's attractive, you know you like the attention he's given you but you have no idea what kind of human being he is. We do know, however, that he's looking to screw around on his wife/sneak behind her back. You respect a man like that? You have no idea if he's unhappy in his marriage - he may just be a lifelong serial cheater and has been this way since his teens - the kind who just can't totally commit to any woman, even his wife who he does love. Don't be naive enough to think he's hitting on you because he's unhappy in his marriage. It's more than likely he's just looking for an ego boost and is looking for a naive pretty girl to try and get a piece of a$$ from, nothing more. You are making this all out to be something that has the potential for something lasting, wake up. You are LIKELY not even the only girl he's flirting with - as I mentioned before, he works at a gym, he's attractive, attractive women visit the gym.......you're probably just the flavor of the week or day. Weren't you raised to learn that going after someone's husband is wrong? Or that to be lusting over another man when you're in a relationship is wrong? There are 2 families here that could be forever devastated by the choices YOU make..........innocent children. Don't you get that?
whichwayisup Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Originally posted by wyzeup There are 2 families here that could be forever devastated by the choices YOU make..........innocent children. Don't you get that? So is a real hot roll in the hay worth devastating and ruining lives?? Everyday men and women are attracted to eachother...It's OK to look, maybe even wonder....But leave it AT JUST THAT! The pain, broken hearts and lives will be ruined is NOT worth a good f**k. You've been given some good advice, remove yourself from this man - Find out what is missing from your relationship at home, make a choice to work it out or end it because this man who fathered your kids doesn't deserve this from you. How would you feel if he was about to do what you're considering?? Would you be happy? Would you still love him? Trust him? Really STOP and THINK about what consquences will happen. Can you be that selfish and go ahead and still try to be with that MM after all?
Mr Spock Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 If you want to have sex with the guy, and he does, then do it-but there will be a lot of messy emotional junk to sort through after. It is unlikely he will leave his marriage for you. Sadly, it's unlikely SHE would kick him out if she discovered it.
jj003 Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Originally posted by beth5201 does this post belong on another thread -I am lost? I think wyzeup's comment belong somewhere else....!!!
wyzeup Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by jj003 I think wyzeup's comment belong somewhere else....!!! What, you find the plain hard truth so offensive? Sorry, I don't sugarcoat things.
jj003 Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by wyzeup What, you find the plain hard truth so offensive? Sorry, I don't sugarcoat things. It is only the turth you believe in, not the truth for all of us !!!
wyzeup Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 Originally posted by jj003 It is only the turth you believe in, not the truth for all of us !!! That's really unfortunate that your truth is one that says it's acceptable, respectful and appropriate to disregard and disrespect someone's marriage and their spouse (the one who's being cheated on) - the spouse who's done not one thing to deserve having someone getting it on with their husband/wife. It's a sad world we live in when it's actually come down to people thinking it's acceptable to be homewreckers and participate in the betrayal of marriage vows.
newbby Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 i'm sorry wyzeup but it really is up to the participants in the marriage to decide how they conduct that marriage. i'm not saying that the bs shouldnt be sympathised with, because i agree it is not nice for them. however the way you speak about it sounds like it is only one persons marriage and that the cs is a helpless puppy. it takes two to maintain a marriage. i have known people with very strong and evolving relationships and outsiders actually desperately trying to get it together with one or the other and it could never happen, it was just impossible as both people in the relationship did not allow it. i understand that one of the people in the marriage could possibly have a weak moment but i suspect from your words that you have a strange view of the op as hanging around and waiting for their moment to pounce. i am not saying it is acceptable to disregard the bs's feelings, i dont think it is. as for respecting their marriage, that is another matter entirely. i know it is interesting i just thought about this, if it was two people in a relationship that were not married, and the guy was determinedly pursuing me, im pretty sure i would be much less inclined to take him seriously, definetly if he did not leave the relationship immediately we got together. it is that the marriage seems more like a trap than a relationship if one person is desperately and determinedly pursuing somebody else and wont leave that person alone. however if they dont leave their marriage, you still have to conclude that it is their daily choice to be married, whatever the complications.
newbby Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 as for vows wyzeup, if i make a vow, that is surely my choice and if i break it, i cant blame anyone else for it. if i say i will never never eat an orange and then i run around the store chasing oranges would you take my vow very seriously? i think the op is often viewed as the devil that tempts or the snake that offers the apple, or whatever that story was, whilst the married people are viewed as the perfect beings that are sometimes weak to temptation.
jj003 Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 good speech, newbby The greatest gift a person can give to another is the freedom to make their own choice... As I've mentioned before, if you love something enough, you'll set it free....
Mr Spock Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 Originally posted by wyzeup That's really unfortunate that your truth is one that says it's acceptable, respectful and appropriate to disregard and disrespect someone's marriage and their spouse (the one who's being cheated on) - the spouse who's done not one thing to deserve having someone getting it on with their husband/wife. It's a sad world we live in when it's actually come down to people thinking it's acceptable to be homewreckers and participate in the betrayal of marriage vows. that's the LEAST saddest thing about the world today
newbby Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 that's the LEAST saddest thing about the world today sharp as ever
Recommended Posts