Fairy dust two Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 I'm on day 15 of nc and I'm struggling help I don't want to message him but feel like I am going to fail badly at this
wendieann Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 You can do it! You've held on this long. Take baby steps each he at a time. It is hard. I know. I feel I'll crash and burn too. Together we can survive this heartache!
Cm01 Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 I am almost two weeks no contact also. The way I look at it if she can walk away so easily and not connect me then why should I contact her, I'll only regret it once I realize what a fool I'm being by looking desperate/pathetic, same would apply to you. If he cared he'd contact you. Also I found making a list of all her negatives and rotten things she did to me helped and I keep it on my phone, maybe you can try the same and read it wherever you are tempted to contact him. He likely doesn't care, you are just going to look really bad and feel even worse once he shuts you down or simply ignores you.
Author Fairy dust two Posted January 15, 2016 Author Posted January 15, 2016 Thanks having people to talk to helps it's so hard not to contact him and tell him all the things I want to say but I no it's just going to make me look like a nutter but I no I will be weak if he does get in touch with me during the nc time
preraph Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Isn't it more important to walk away with dignity and let him see that than to make a fool of yourself begging and wallowing to him? Not letting that happen is the first step to "living well is the best revenge." I agree you maybe need to unburden yourself, but not to HIM. He no longer wants to hear it or deal with it. He doesn't care enough to give him that. Write it out and burn it or take it to a therapist or a best friend (but don't just keep going on about it with friends either or they'll get tired of it). Use your friends to have fun with and distract you. Take a vacation. Take a class. Take lessons. Get a makeover. Improve yourself during this time. This love is your love, not his love. It came from inside you and you gave it to him, and not it's over you get to take it with you when you leave. And when you feel like it, you can give it to someone else. Good luck.
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