loveisanaction Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Hello Everyone, This is my first post, my apologies in advance as i know it's very long. I was in a serious relationship for 3 years but we broke up a year ago. I liked a guy at my place of work (I know, work place romances..no-no). The guy at my work place was the first guy I’ve liked since my ex and I broke up. We flirted a lot and things were okay for a while (no intimacy of any sort just lots of flirting, texting and phone calls). About 5 months ago, i noticed that he spent quite a bit of time in one of my married co-worker’s office. She is married but from what she has told me and a few others, her marriage isn’t 100 % at its best right now. It seems her and her husband are having minor problems. I thought nothing of it initially but then it started to concern me a little because he was always there. There are times that he does have to be in there because they do have to work directly with each other but I noticed that he goes into her office more than he really needs to; he’s there every other hour. I’ve been in her office a few times when he’s been in there and she talks to him as if he’s her lover; her voice is always soft and flirty. I’ve also been in her office when other male co-workers have been in there but the tone of her voice is normal with them, not flirty, friendly but not flirty. One day I went into her office to drop off some paper work, they were working on her computer, he sat so close beside her that there was no space in between them. They were laughing at what seemed to be a Youtube video that they were watching. As soon as I walked him, I felt him get slightly uncomfortable (she carried on laughing but he kind of stiffened). I rushed out out of there, I just felt so uncomfortable being in there with the 2 of them. From that point on I stopped talking/flirting with him, I’ve kept it purely professional (no small talk) unless it’s about work. He on the other hand still goes into her office, I’ve seen them have lunch together once (in her office). I work 3 doors down from her office and know when he’s in there because you can hear them laughing and talking. It just irks me because I always know when he’s in there because her laughter becomes louder than usual. After reading tons of stories on here about married people and their AP who are also co-workers, I’ve become very aware of my surroundings. It saddens me though, not only because she is married with 3 young children but also because of what i have read on here. A lot of the stories about men and their wives cheating/flirting were really heartbreaking. He seems to really like her and she him and they're not hiding it. I can’t lie, she is a nice looking woman, after 3 kids she still has a nice shape and she’s also fun to be around. I’m sorry for the long post but I just needed to somewhere to vent. Even as I type this, he’s in her office…*sigh*….
Redhead14 Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Hello Everyone, This is my first post, my apologies in advance as i know it's very long. I was in a serious relationship for 3 years but we broke up a year ago. I liked a guy at my place of work (I know, work place romances..no-no). The guy at my work place was the first guy I’ve liked since my ex and I broke up. We flirted a lot and things were okay for a while (no intimacy of any sort just lots of flirting, texting and phone calls). About 5 months ago, i noticed that he spent quite a bit of time in one of my married co-worker’s office. She is married but from what she has told me and a few others, her marriage isn’t 100 % at its best right now. It seems her and her husband are having minor problems. I thought nothing of it initially but then it started to concern me a little because he was always there. There are times that he does have to be in there because they do have to work directly with each other but I noticed that he goes into her office more than he really needs to; he’s there every other hour. I’ve been in her office a few times when he’s been in there and she talks to him as if he’s her lover; her voice is always soft and flirty. I’ve also been in her office when other male co-workers have been in there but the tone of her voice is normal with them, not flirty, friendly but not flirty. One day I went into her office to drop off some paper work, they were working on her computer, he sat so close beside her that there was no space in between them. They were laughing at what seemed to be a Youtube video that they were watching. As soon as I walked him, I felt him get slightly uncomfortable (she carried on laughing but he kind of stiffened). I rushed out out of there, I just felt so uncomfortable being in there with the 2 of them. From that point on I stopped talking/flirting with him, I’ve kept it purely professional (no small talk) unless it’s about work. He on the other hand still goes into her office, I’ve seen them have lunch together once (in her office). I work 3 doors down from her office and know when he’s in there because you can hear them laughing and talking. It just irks me because I always know when he’s in there because her laughter becomes louder than usual. After reading tons of stories on here about married people and their AP who are also co-workers, I’ve become very aware of my surroundings. It saddens me though, not only because she is married with 3 young children but also because of what i have read on here. A lot of the stories about men and their wives cheating/flirting were really heartbreaking. He seems to really like her and she him and they're not hiding it. I can’t lie, she is a nice looking woman, after 3 kids she still has a nice shape and she’s also fun to be around. I’m sorry for the long post but I just needed to somewhere to vent. Even as I type this, he’s in her office…*sigh*…. Well, I'd come from the logical side of this. Why would you want to have a man in your life who, apparently, doesn't have his priorities and moral values in line? I'd consider myself lucky to have a birds eye view of this guy and what kind of man he really is, rather than focusing on an idealized version of him, possibly becoming involved, maybe married to him only to find out that he doesn't respect the institution of marriage and/or plays on women who are in crisis, emotionally compromised and vulnerable . . . and perhaps, he is the reason her marriage isn't 100% at it's best. 2
Toodaloo Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 They are both seeking attention from one another... at the time so did you. Sometimes its goo to have your ego stroked a bit, be reminded that you are attractive and worth while. Seems to me that you are a little bit jealous of this woman getting close to him. My advice? Get up get out and do something. Clean the cupboards, go to keep fit lessons learn a new skill or hobby or just get out and walk off all that energy. Call up friends and go see a movie. Works for me every single time. Also if you get out and about then you are more likely to meet someone new. Someone who will be attracted to you as a single person... The guy in your office sounds like he is emotionally unavailable or was just being overly friendly. 2
Author loveisanaction Posted January 15, 2016 Author Posted January 15, 2016 Well, I'd come from the logical side of this. Why would you want to have a man in your life who, apparently, doesn't have his priorities and moral values in line? I'd consider myself lucky to have a birds eye view of this guy and what kind of man he really is, rather than focusing on an idealized version of him, possibly becoming involved, maybe married to him only to find out that he doesn't respect the institution of marriage and/or plays on women who are in crisis, emotionally compromised and vulnerable . . . and perhaps, he is the reason her marriage isn't 100% at it's best. Thank you for that comment in bold...I am beginning to see it... 2
smackie9 Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Fact: he isn't interested in commitment, that's why he chases married women. What people do is none of your business and you should just ignore what is going on with them....will make your life so much simpler. 2
Buddhist Posted January 16, 2016 Posted January 16, 2016 Maybe part of the big attraction there is that she is off-limits so he is free to flirt with her knowing that she's not going to want a relationship with him and there is no pressure on him to begin dating or anything else. A lot of people just enjoy the process of flirting too.
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