New2Dis Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Hey guys! First post on here... So I've been casually dating this girl for a couple of weeks. She's a year older than me, already in the first year of her career (teaching, while I'm still in college and work in retail) and we've been having fun. We recently hung out for New Year's Eve which was pretty cool, but there's just one thing: She just got out of a 3 year relationship a little over 3 months ago. Which is only several weeks after we met. She doesnt talk about her ex or the relationship much, just that it was good, but didn't work out. I suppose she seems over him. I (probably shouldn't have) did some snooping on her IG and Facebook (we aren't friends on there) pages and while she has deleted just about all evidence of the last relationship on IG, there's still an old pic of flowers, and flirty comments between her and her ex from about 15 weeks ago. On Facebook, she told me she recently just blocked her ex and all of his family members, which untagged her from all the pics they were in, but before that happened, I saw a bunch of pics from them. They seemed really happy. Several pics and posts about how in love she was, they went on a bunch of adventurous dates, I found out their birthdays were on the same day (he is a year older than her), and they graduated college on the same day a few months ago in May. Like I said before, we've been having fun, but I can't help to think if I take this any further, that I'm just being her rebound. I know after my last relationship (2 years) I wasn't even thinking about trying to date anyone for about 9 months, while my last ex got with someone pretty fast, and they broke up quickly. What do you guys think?
Redhead14 Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Hey guys! First post on here... So I've been casually dating this girl for a couple of weeks. She's a year older than me, already in the first year of her career (teaching, while I'm still in college and work in retail) and we've been having fun. We recently hung out for New Year's Eve which was pretty cool, but there's just one thing: She just got out of a 3 year relationship a little over 3 months ago. Which is only several weeks after we met. She doesnt talk about her ex or the relationship much, just that it was good, but didn't work out. I suppose she seems over him. I (probably shouldn't have) did some snooping on her IG and Facebook (we aren't friends on there) pages and while she has deleted just about all evidence of the last relationship on IG, there's still an old pic of flowers, and flirty comments between her and her ex from about 15 weeks ago. On Facebook, she told me she recently just blocked her ex and all of his family members, which untagged her from all the pics they were in, but before that happened, I saw a bunch of pics from them. They seemed really happy. Several pics and posts about how in love she was, they went on a bunch of adventurous dates, I found out their birthdays were on the same day (he is a year older than her), and they graduated college on the same day a few months ago in May. Like I said before, we've been having fun, but I can't help to think if I take this any further, that I'm just being her rebound. I know after my last relationship (2 years) I wasn't even thinking about trying to date anyone for about 9 months, while my last ex got with someone pretty fast, and they broke up quickly. What do you guys think? Being out of a long term relationship for only 3 months makes the likelihood of rebounding high, at least. I'd just tread lightly with her. Keep it light and casual for quite a while and observe her behavior carefully. If she seems to be getting "attached" to you quickly, I'd back off. If she's doing that, it's probably more about comfort and distraction than being truly focused on you.
thejabberwocky Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 It really depends on the nature of their breakup. Who dumped who? It seems like she's ready to move past it. I just broke up with my ex of 6 years, but honestly, I was miserable with him for the last two. I just kept thinking it'd get better, so I kept trying to fix it. It got worse, and I finally had enough and ended it. That said, I don't miss him at all. If anything, I'm mad I didn't end it sooner. I may not be ready to jump into another serious relationship anytime soon, but I'm definitely not pining after him. Everyone is different. She probably isn't sure if you'd be a rebound right now. It takes time. Just keep your relationship light for now until you feel her out. Don't force her into anything she isn't ready for!
Author New2Dis Posted January 15, 2016 Author Posted January 15, 2016 She says things were going well and they got in a huge argument. After that her feeling "changed" She wasn't really clear about it which made me think it happened quickly, but she doesn't seem to be pining over him. Apparently he did a lot of trying to make it work, but she was focused on work. But another part of me thinks she's not pining over him because I'm around. Again we met about a month after they broke it off. I suppose I'll just take it slowly?
Redhead14 Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 She says things were going well and they got in a huge argument. After that her feeling "changed" She wasn't really clear about it which made me think it happened quickly, but she doesn't seem to be pining over him. Apparently he did a lot of trying to make it work, but she was focused on work. But another part of me thinks she's not pining over him because I'm around. Again we met about a month after they broke it off. I suppose I'll just take it slowly? she's not pining over him because I'm around -- exactly, you may just be a distraction which may wear off and when the emotions surrounding that event come around again, and they will, trust me. Especially if the break up happened out of the blue or spontaneously during/following an arguement. How she handles those emotions is going to be the make or break thing for this. If she is strong, mature, secure and independent, she will manage the emotions, keep no contact with him and continue to move forward with her life. If those emotions get the best of her and she waivers, you'll be left in the dust. Go very slowly with her . . .
Author New2Dis Posted January 15, 2016 Author Posted January 15, 2016 I'm probably putting myself in her shoes too much. I know I wouldn't be able to get over someone or look to date if I was 3-4 months out of a 3 year relationship. She doesn't speak as if she had been wanting it to happen or she hates him, which makes me more confused. I don't know if she is over him or truly moved on
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