Krono Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 I have come here for potential advice and clarity as I'm confused as hell. Recently was had a short term relationship end. Surprising fashion. The experience was great. We both felt we had a strong connection. When we were together we meshed so well. She was always smiling, planning a future with me, introducing me to all her friends, wanting to meet the family, and doing nice things for me. Which all this to me is a step in the right direction. I also did the same. She is the one whom decided to label us as well. A few days before we broke up she was being difficult but i attributed it to her being sick and stressed. We ended up talking about her stressor until early morning. She thanked me and gave a perception tbings were good. Then 1 day later out of no where she says I can't do this. Get back to her house where I get my things as I spent the night there and she kisses me twice. Then when I get home I texted her stating I'll miss her and she responded I'll miss you too. Her interest level was there she just said she was scared due to her past. I'm confused. Like many others. But this end is like no other I've had. I would like to be there for her but I'm not one to chase and beg. No contact is implemented except for one convo to discuss getting some things back which i feel turned in to a game a little. I want to believe all of what she said was true, which is what throws me off. Planning all this stuff even 15 min prior to ending it. Sorry if some things are vague just didn't want a novel written.
PegNosePete Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Well sure, what if it is all true? That doesn't mean she wants a relationship with you. In fact she has told you that she doesn't. So believe her words. But still, move on. She has made it clear the relationship is over so you don't need to "be there for her". 2
ExpatInItaly Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Did she give any more details about what happened in her past?
Author Krono Posted January 15, 2016 Author Posted January 15, 2016 Did she give any more details about what happened in her past? Yes I know her past. It was not pleasant. She ended it for fear of someone else getting close and hurting her the same way. She also stated once no one has been this nice to her and i dont think she could handle it. Where my comment comes from wanting to be there for her. I know I can't be. That's a fact but I can empathize for her and what she has been through. 1
PegNosePete Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 The best advice I can give is: do not date fixer-uppers. I don't mean you should be super picky. Everyone has flaws which can be over-looked or overcome. No-one is perfect. But some need to fix themselves before they can be in a relationship. It sounds like she definitely falls into this category. Tell her that when she's fixed herself and is ready to be in a relationship, she has your number. 2
smudge21 Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 I reckon that's one of the hardest things when someone breaks up with us after they've been so perfect and making all these plans with us. I mean, one minute you're both feeling so connected, the next it's like they're a different person. Like has been said above, when people have issues in their background, they can just flare up, often just when things seem to so right. You're doing all the right things and have your head screwed on about this so just carry on as you are. Someone else's problems are not your problems and you can only fix those that want to be fixed. It's never easy to lose something, especially when it was going so well.
DrMario Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Be grateful you got out of this situation and try to stay out. My ex wasn't long out of a 6 year relationship when I met her and she had just finished a brief relationship with her rebound, I managed to get with her and we had a great time until the past caught up with her and played in her mind, suddenly what one man did to her, I was capable of doing the same, I'm convinced she didn't deal with her past and ended it out of fear it would wind up the same way, it's a tough one to get over especially when you know you was great together and on the same level but some people just aren't ready to comit in the same way.
Thistooshallpass21 Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Sometimes one is done with the past, but the past is not done with them. She is definitely a case where she needs to fix her problems herself and find happiness within herself before she can be with someone else
Author Krono Posted January 15, 2016 Author Posted January 15, 2016 I appreciate the advice. This one's been lingering in my mind more then any other. Probably because of how it went 180 degrees so quick. Thank you again.
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