mark1210 Posted June 5, 2005 Posted June 5, 2005 So on Friday this girl (Sarah) "accidently" bumps into me from behind at a bar. She introduces herself to me and we talk all night. I bought her a few drinks and I get her number. Now she wouldn't let me enter it into my phone, she wanted to do it. My sister claims this is a woman's way of sizing up a guy to be a player or not. If a guy is reluctant to hand over the phone for fear of a text message or another girl calling he won't do it. Of course I had nothing to hide so I did let her. Towards the end of the night Sarah's friend asks me what I think about Sarah and I say I'm definately interested and she asks Sarah to get my number. A little odd on how that worked but the fact of the matter is we got each others number. At the end of the night I said I would call and try to set something up on Sunday with her. Sarah responds, why don't you give me a call tomorrow (Saturday). Doesn't that seem a little desperate? I kinda thought so but once again my sister says it was probably her way of sizing up my interest in her. Your thoughts? Saturday comes around and I call her and we talk a good bit she tells me she is driving 2 hours distance to visit her mom until Sunday morning. I set up a date for tomorow evening (Sunday) and all is right in the world, or so I thought. Sunday (today) comes around and I get a text message early in the morning that says she is very sorry but her mom is wanting her to stay for the rest of today and she has to reschedule with me. I text back and said cool, thank you for the heads up. She writes back saying she is really sorry but she really wants to go out with me. I text back and say "Tuesday at 7P, my place?". She writes back and says "No doubt". My question here is, doesn't this seem a little flaky? If she really wanted to follow through on her commitment with me wouldn't she have just left? Obviously family is important but I've never been in this particular situation. Once again my sister thinks it probably wasn't planned for but she is testing my patience and trying to determine if I would be a prick. What are your thoughts on all this...is it even worth the trouble and are these really women's games? Thanks!
runner Posted June 5, 2005 Posted June 5, 2005 i think you're over analysing the situation. relax. keep busy til tuesday.
boom782 Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 To me it doesn't sound like either. Family is more important than anything else and it sounds like something just came up. Just wait till Tuesday and see what happens. If she comes up with another excuse/reason to cancel then maybe its time to move on.
Author mark1210 Posted June 6, 2005 Author Posted June 6, 2005 Update: So now she no longer wants to meet me at my place, she feels its best to meet at the place we are going to seperately. Man just keeps on changing.
magda Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Eh, you're being way too high-maintenance. First and most important: She just met you. She doesn't really know much about you. Therefore, 1) if her mother needs her for something, she damn well better consider her mother over you. You are just some guy she met in a bar. And, 2) any reasonably intelligent woman in today's world doesn't meet a guy they don't know very well at his house. You meet said guy you met in a bar in a public place until you are sure about him. She probably was excited to see you and sorry for having to cancel Sunday, and wasn't quite thinking clearly about what would be the best course of action.
crazy_grl Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Originally posted by magda Eh, you're being way too high-maintenance. First and most important: She just met you. She doesn't really know much about you. Therefore, 1) if her mother needs her for something, she damn well better consider her mother over you. You are just some guy she met in a bar. And, 2) any reasonably intelligent woman in today's world doesn't meet a guy they don't know very well at his house. You meet said guy you met in a bar in a public place until you are sure about him. She probably was excited to see you and sorry for having to cancel Sunday, and wasn't quite thinking clearly about what would be the best course of action. Exactly. I don't think she's flaking or testing you. Relax. It sounds like she's interested in you, and there's no reason to suspect everything isn't as she says it is. Family is more important than a guy she doesn't really know, and I know there's no way I would go the house of some guy I just met. She probably realized her mistake in judgement, and now wants to meet in a more neutral place. Just go out and have a good time Tuesday.
Author mark1210 Posted June 6, 2005 Author Posted June 6, 2005 Thanks gang...I don't mean to come across as high maintenance. It's been awhile since i've been into the dating game and its been even longer since i talked with someone I really connected with.
Cecelius Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 You're working too hard for the affections of a girl you hardly know, AND you've already put too much certainty in her head. I'm not saying its done, but: 1) Who cares whether she has your phone and some other girl calls or texts. Are you married to this girl you just met/ 2) Calling her the next day was goofy. 3) working so hard to re-schedule/change plans is goofy If she shows to this new thing, be cool and stop working so hard.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 6, 2005 Posted June 6, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius If she shows to this new thing, be cool and stop working so hard. Exactly. I'd also say that she is exerting way too much control over the process and/or already showing high maintanance signs... if you want a teasing nickname for her, "princess" would be a good one Relax, enjoy the ride, and let her come to you a bit. Don't dance around after her too much.
Author mark1210 Posted June 7, 2005 Author Posted June 7, 2005 Hey Gang-- Thanks for your input. It's been confirm, the girl is a flake. She was to have called me this morning to confirm plans for tomorrow by her own accord. Didn't happen. I called her this evening at 9 and left a message stating "Just wanted to say hi and confirm our plans for tomorrow, if I don't hear back from you by tomorrow afternoon gimme a call when you'd like to make future plans" and left it at that. For someone who talked about how important punctuality is to her she certainly doesn't seem to think it applies to her. Good call or bad call on my part? Thanks!
crazy_grl Posted June 7, 2005 Posted June 7, 2005 Originally posted by mark1210 Hey Gang-- Thanks for your input. It's been confirm, the girl is a flake. She was to have called me this morning to confirm plans for tomorrow by her own accord. Didn't happen. I called her this evening at 9 and left a message stating "Just wanted to say hi and confirm our plans for tomorrow, if I don't hear back from you by tomorrow afternoon gimme a call when you'd like to make future plans" and left it at that. For someone who talked about how important punctuality is to her she certainly doesn't seem to think it applies to her. Good call or bad call on my part? Well, I think you were right to be cautious, but IMO you did jump to the conclusion that she was no good too quickly. I tend to do this myself, so I can relate. This latest development is a very good sign that she's flaking out on you. The earlier things could have been completely genuine. Heck, she might even have a genuinely good reason for this latest one, but I think you should move on. Don't call her again or put forth any more effort. Let her come to you if she's interested.
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