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Ladies how many of you consider love making is just a duty ?

Phoenician

By Phoenician
in General Relationship Discussion

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Timshel Established Member

Timshel

Posted
Posted

Methinks bovines are moo cows...:)

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Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted

BTW,

 

Even a sex goddess like myself can get too tired/busy for sex, but when you love someone, you do things to make them happy (well, as long as it isn't immoral/illegal).

 

Key is, she should at least fake it, and women are pretty good at that.

 

Like birthdays. I could care less about them, but all it took was one time I pretended to forget and mum's disappointment on her face for me to put it on the calendar and make it a priority. And it's not like 'here's your birthday, lesve me alone'. I show care, enthusiasm

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Timshel Established Member

Timshel

Posted
Posted
I don't understand what the bolded means. I thought we were talking about people?

 

Oh wait, I see. You meant swine will fly. Got it.

 

Ooookay.....got it. Doy :rolleyes:

Dolfin80 Established Member

Dolfin80

Posted
Posted (edited)
Lord have mercy! How depressing is that?

 

No, I can honestly say that I have NEVER viewed sex of any kind with any partner as a chore. I greatly enjoy sex and intimacy and I especially love pleasing my partner.

 

edited as my post was kinda off topic

Edited by Dolfin80
TaraMaiden2 Established Member

TaraMaiden2

Posted
Posted
yeah , once every threemonth .

 

after shopping , and if i never argue with her for a week

 

Gosh, you are so focused on sex, your threads are about nothing else!

 

Just find a hooker and get laid, for goodness' sake!

 

And before you tell me "You don't know what it's like!" Believe me, I do.

!2 years without sex from my ex-husband, counts.

 

But never once did I complain in public or harp on about it, or keep pushing the point, or randomly complain over, and over, and over again.

 

My H and I reached an understanding, and we worked things out on our own.

If you're unhappy with the way things are - then it's within your power to change them.

But quit complaining.... Either deal with it, or do something to deal with it.

 

FFS....:rolleyes::mad:

  • Like 6
Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
Posted
And if she only enjoys it once every few month ?

and all others are missionary ?

not even accepted to be kissed?

Didn't you tell us a long time ago that you have separated from your wife and got your own apartment in the same building?

 

Please do it if you haven't already. No matter what, your sex life is NEVER going to get better and at least half of the reason is your attitudes about it. I am pretty sure your wife really doesn't enjoy sex with you.

  • Like 1
Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
Posted
yeah , once every threemonth .

 

after shopping , and if i never argue with her for a week

Oh yeah, the shopping thing, you've made it clear that if you "pay" for sex by permitting shopping then she goes for it. Just pay a sex worker already!! And your marriage is really unhealthy, since you don't want to do anything about it besides rag on your wife it's not gonna get any better!!

 

Talking about "duty sex." Well I know that at times in good relationships a partner will have sex and do particular things for the other because they know it's really wanted, even if they're not totally feeling it at the time. That is out of love and caring, not "duty."

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted
BTW,

 

Even a sex goddess like myself can get too tired/busy for sex, but when you love someone, you do things to make them happy (well, as long as it isn't immoral/illegal).

 

Key is, she should at least fake it, and women are pretty good at that.

 

Like birthdays. I could care less about them, but all it took was one time I pretended to forget and mum's disappointment on her face for me to put it on the calendar and make it a priority. And it's not like 'here's your birthday, lesve me alone'. I show care, enthusiasm

 

Seems like that road should go both ways. In other words, when one is too tired or not particularly happy with the partner to make them want to go do nice things to them, shouldn't the partner also plaster on a smile and pretend they don't mind not getting any?

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted
Gosh, you are so focused on sex, your threads are about nothing else!

 

Just find a hooker and get laid, for goodness' sake!

 

And before you tell me "You don't know what it's like!" Believe me, I do.

!2 years without sex from my ex-husband, counts.

 

But never once did I complain in public or harp on about it, or keep pushing the point, or randomly complain over, and over, and over again.

 

My H and I reached an understanding, and we worked things out on our own.

If you're unhappy with the way things are - then it's within your power to change them.

But quit complaining.... Either deal with it, or do something to deal with it.

 

FFS....:rolleyes::mad:

 

I've been in a sexless marriage too.

 

But if I went around like this all of the time, it would be pretty obvious why my husband wouldn't want to eff me.

 

"My husband is lazy and selfish and the sex is no good and all of you men are so great to your partners, I wish I had a partner that was so great as you! My husband is a terrible parent who just wants to go shopping and wears old pyjamas, and doesn't listen at all, and talks too much and expects sex to be only his way, is a terrible parent, i have to do everythinh or hure help for him, and he isn't responsible, and only wants it in one position and hates oral, not like the rest of you perfect people that spend days effing on the beach. Oh if I only married someone else like you great men, everything would be so much better."

 

Jeez. I wonder if I showed him that paragraph just how long it would be before he left the house for the afternoon, instead of not just screwing me!

 

Even if its ALL TRUE, it certainly isn't the way to get ANYWHERE CLOSE to having sex you want or anything else.

 

If I was your wife, I would call the escort service myself, just to stop the never-ending tirade of criticism.

 

And didn't you state in another thread that you had an affair?

 

Methinks you like to get attention for complaining about your dissatisfaction, and sympathy for it too, than do some serious legwork to either fix things with the wife, set better boundaries or divorce.

  • Like 1
carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted
I don't understand what the bolded means. I thought we were talking about people?

 

Oh wait, I see. You meant swine will fly. Got it.

In my neck of the woods, the cows fly, hence bovine. We like our swine. They take their duties seriously.

  • Like 1
spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

Posted
Posted

No, I have never done. If it's a duty, then you are clearly in the wrong relationship. Either that or have a low sex drive.

  • Like 1
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Phoenician Established Member

Phoenician

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Gosh, you are so focused on sex, your threads are about nothing else!

 

Just find a hooker and get laid, for goodness' sake!

 

And before you tell me "You don't know what it's like!" Believe me, I do.

!2 years without sex from my ex-husband, counts.

 

But never once did I complain in public or harp on about it, or keep pushing the point, or randomly complain over, and over, and over again.

 

My H and I reached an understanding, and we worked things out on our own.

If you're unhappy with the way things are - then it's within your power to change them.

But quit complaining.... Either deal with it, or do something to deal with it.

 

FFS....:rolleyes::mad:

 

 

I will be waiting for you sweety :)

 

and I an here to vent , what about you , preaching ?

  • Author
Phoenician Established Member

Phoenician

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I've been in a sexless marriage too.

 

But if I went around like this all of the time, it would be pretty obvious why my husband wouldn't want to eff me.

 

"My husband is lazy and selfish and the sex is no good and all of you men are so great to your partners, I wish I had a partner that was so great as you! My husband is a terrible parent who just wants to go shopping and wears old pyjamas, and doesn't listen at all, and talks too much and expects sex to be only his way, is a terrible parent, i have to do everythinh or hure help for him, and he isn't responsible, and only wants it in one position and hates oral, not like the rest of you perfect people that spend days effing on the beach. Oh if I only married someone else like you great men, everything would be so much better."

 

Jeez. I wonder if I showed him that paragraph just how long it would be before he left the house for the afternoon, instead of not just screwing me!

 

Even if its ALL TRUE, it certainly isn't the way to get ANYWHERE CLOSE to having sex you want or anything else.

 

If I was your wife, I would call the escort service myself, just to stop the never-ending tirade of criticism.

 

And didn't you state in another thread that you had an affair?

 

Methinks you like to get attention for complaining about your dissatisfaction, and sympathy for it too, than do some serious legwork to either fix things with the wife, set better boundaries or divorce.

 

I attempted an affair , but couldn't do it ...

 

do u think divorcing and leaving kids is easy ?

 

I am not generalizing ...

 

and there good wives everywhere who takes care of there husband especially if is not a crook .

 

I am a decent man ,

 

waited 15 years in a sexless marriage because I love my family , trying all the time to be a good husband , I won't divorce before my kids fly .

 

I have the right to vent ;

 

do you want to take that right too?

 

fine by me ...

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted
I attempted an affair , but couldn't do it ...

 

do u think divorcing and leaving kids is easy ?

 

I am not generalizing ...

 

and there good wives everywhere who takes care of there husband especially if is not a crook .

 

I am a decent man ,

 

waited 15 years in a sexless marriage because I love my family , trying all the time to be a good husband , I won't divorce before my kids fly .

 

I have the right to vent ;

 

do you want to take that right too?

 

fine by me ...

 

Such a victim...... To your own choices. Passive aggression doesn't bother me. That's old news where I come from.

 

I am married. I have a child with another on the way.

 

Since you want to play the 'its so hard to leave' card then own that.

 

Own that you chose not to leave. Because people do in much HARDER circumstances. Much harder circumstances than "sexless" and "duty sex."

 

Circumstances where their spouses are actively stopping them or by consequences of the other party, such as financial ruin, which I faced years ago. And still made every available effort to leave. Eventually I did leave. Then we reconciled.

 

Is that a wise decision? Perhaps not. We shall see. I have taken certain safeguards to ensure my passage out if I need to.

 

If you aren't leaving because 'its too hard,' then you don't want to bad enough. Own it.

 

What possible goals do you have?

 

Because from where I sit it looks like you don't want:

 

A 'non-dutiful' sex-life

A healthy relationship

Respect

Dignity

 

Anywhere near as much as:

 

You want to whine about having none of the above and blame others for it.

 

Your spouse isn't categorically stopping you from anything: you are.

 

In fact, you've chosen not to make her fully aware, regardless of how 'upset' she might be about how much you have and want your needs filled.

 

You've chosen to judge her, resent her, blame her and do nothing of solid consequence.

 

Guess what? That's "easy."

 

Funny thing about the "right to complain" on a public forum. I get the right to respond (barring certain caveats).

 

At the end of the sad, sad day my opinion is just that: an opinion in text. You get to live with your life. You ask people to weigh-in, request received accordingly.

 

You ARE NOT my "victim" because you don't like my opinion.

Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted

The day my orgasms and pleasing a man I love become a "duty" someone please just shoot me.

 

Just for info. The last 6-9 months of my last relationship were sexless. Why? Because I knew that he couldn't give two hoots about me, that I was just a hole to poke a penis into. It disgusted me. The very thought of him near me physically and mentally disgusted me.

 

The last time we had sex he started goading me again. He asked "is that all you've got?" I replied "yes" and dismounted. We never had sex or much physical contact at all ever again.

 

At my peak (with a different guy) I was having sex on average around 4-6 times a day. A bad day was only 3 times. We broke beds. We damaged the suspension on one of the cars. Any time of day and there were no limits on when, where etc. There was not one day, after we moved in together that we did not have sex. Why? because I felt loved, cherished, protected and adored. I actively wanted to have sex (as much as I could possibly get!) with that man.

 

I don't think I am an unusual woman... I believe most women are like this when it comes to emotions and sex.

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