Wanderlust2386 Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 I met this girl online, we talked for about two days and then I gave her my number. She texted me and we had a couple short conversations. I asked her if she would like to get drinks sometime and she said that would be nice. I told her I was free that night, or we could meet up later. She ended up texting me back saying her and her friend were meeting up to watch a game, and she'd love for me to join them. I went because I wanted to see her, but I wish the friend hadn't been there. We had a lot of fun. Her and her friend were great and we were laughing the whole time. But I don't feel like I really found out anything about her and we were all sort of tipsy. Also every time I looked at her for more than a second she would ask "what?" Kind of in a shy manner. She did mention that we should go to this bar together that I was telling her about. We ended the night with a hug and said our goodbyes. Next day I texted her that I had a good time and thanks for inviting me out and she said she had a great time and it was a lot of fun. That was three days ago and neither of us have texted/called but we started following each other on social media. i would like to actually go on a date with her, I don't think the first one was even a "date" but I'm having a hard time deciding if she is even interested. How would I go about asking her? Or was I already friendzoned? We are two girls by the way, so dating etiquette isn't so cut and dry. I don't know what she expects and I don't date a lot. Also I feel she is out of my league, stupid, but it's scaring me a little bit. I did like her and would like to see her again but I don't want to be an idiot.
d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 While "The Rules" don't necessarily apply anymore, when you asked her out for that night you sent the message that you assumed she didn't have a life & that she should be sitting around waiting for some guy. She countered by telling you she had plans with a friend. She probably thought she was being nice by inviting you along but you made a mistake going. It made you look desperate. Your better move would have been to say No problem Have fun with your friend. Can we get together just the two of us the day after tomorrow? That would show enthusiasm & security. Meeting with the friend, you probably already blew it but feel free to try for a 2nd date. Tread lightly however. There are no do overs in life.
Author Wanderlust2386 Posted January 15, 2016 Author Posted January 15, 2016 While "The Rules" don't necessarily apply anymore, when you asked her out for that night you sent the message that you assumed she didn't have a life & that she should be sitting around waiting for some guy. She countered by telling you she had plans with a friend. She probably thought she was being nice by inviting you along but you made a mistake going. It made you look desperate. Your better move would have been to say No problem Have fun with your friend. Can we get together just the two of us the day after tomorrow? That would show enthusiasm & security. Meeting with the friend, you probably already blew it but feel free to try for a 2nd date. Tread lightly however. There are no do overs in life. First of all I'm not a dude. Second of all, I told her I was free on Sunday/Monday or Tuesday and she brought up the game. I didn't specifically ask her out that night. I was not insinuating she didn't have a life. Please.
YourCupOfTea Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 (edited) Just ask her! I'm assuming that because you met online you know that she is gay, right? Rules don't apply and I'm the kind of person that doesn't care about rules anyway. I'm a girl and asked all my previous boyfriends out for the first time and ended up in long term relationships, even though it was very scary and I was super nervous doing it. Sometimes the other person doesn't show any interest and it's very clear, but sometimes it's so hard do speculate if you will get rejected or not. You can never really know what the other person might be thinking. Maybe just text her and see how she responds. If she responds well and keeps the conversation going, just ask her for a drink. If you want something just try to make it happen. The worst thing that could happen is that you don't get a date. And if you do nothing you will probably not get a date either. Edited January 15, 2016 by YourCupOfTea
Gaeta Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 There is no way around it. She asked you to your first meeting so it's your turn to take her somewhere. You have nothing to lose, ask her out.
d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 First of all I'm not a dude. Second of all, I told her I was free on Sunday/Monday or Tuesday and she brought up the game. I didn't specifically ask her out that night. I was not insinuating she didn't have a life. Please. Sorry about getting your gender wrong. People on LS often think I'm male too. My advice still stands. When you asked if she wanted to get drinks "sometime" and then countered you were free that very night, you were asking her out for that night. Last minute spontaneous meet ups like that do imply that the asker (you) thinks that the other person doesn't have anything better to do. Therefore when initiating a 1st meeting setting a specific date in advance is preferable: would you like to met me at XYZ bar two days from now at 7 pm. Direct specific unambiguous invitations avoid these hybrid situations & assure that no third parties come on your date.
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