Mana15 Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 So, long story short: we dated for about 5 years and broke up last January because he found out something I had been keeping from him (not cheating) and he told me we could try to keep dating anyway, but I knew things wouldn't be the same and said no. He begged me to keep talking to him and so we did. Everyday, like we had been doing the past 5 years. In September, he went to moved away and went to college and I just knew that college would change him. So I started NC because I knew I was going to suffer and, to this day, haven't broke it. Anyway, here's what happened today: I got invited to an event on FB of a meeting that included a big group of friends of mine. I was just checking who was going and then I went to see who created the event: my ex. He wasn't the one who invited me, though. However, the meeting will be really close to where I am and, even though I'm not considering going, it kinda hurt me to see his name like that again, after I blocked him EVERYWHERE. My heart started beating faster and I felt uneasy... It's just so hurtful... These past few weeks haven't been easy, although the previous month and a half was pretty good overall. First the dreams about him returned, then a friend of mine told me he had feelings for me and I told him I wasn't interested, to which he replied "I don't know why (ex) was so special to you", which let me REALLY upset. And now, seeing his name like this and knowing that he's planning an event so close to where I live, despite now living in a different place... It's like the universe is trying to make me think about him all of a sudden. I just wanted to let this out to you guys and maybe get some insight, since you're always so helpful. Thanks in advance
Nilfiry Posted January 14, 2016 Posted January 14, 2016 People have a way of popping into our minds even when we do not think of them. It happens to me occasionally, but it passes just as quickly. If it bothers you, then do not go. The feeling will pass once the event is over and everyone forgets about it. Alternatively, you could also go to slate your desire. You may experience some discomfort, but it will let you know where you stand with your thoughts and feeling. Although, it seem clear to me that you have not entirely let those old feelings go and move on completely, so maybe some closure will not hurt.
Author Mana15 Posted January 15, 2016 Author Posted January 15, 2016 Oh, no, I'm not going to the event. I didn't even consider it. I just needed to vent about this and try to understand why, when I'm finally feeling better, it looks like the universe is making me think about him and go through getting him out of my mind again. And thanks for your feedback!
smudge21 Posted January 15, 2016 Posted January 15, 2016 Social media has seriously made the pain of breakups so much more long lasting. Even when we delete someone out of our lives, someone who knows someone will know them. So many times my ex from years ago kept popping up in some way or other, and yes, the heart would skip a beat right at that moment. You can't force the feelings out, they fade over time and these little moments will come and go. You're not alone when that happens so just tell yourself it's okay to feel this way. You're healing, but you're not healed... not yet.
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